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When my husband is away I miss him, I really miss him. Sometimes when I do laundry and his cloths are still in the basket; I smile, so I know I miss him. But when he comes back the first 1 or 2 days are really good but then he starts to annoy the hell of me. He dose small stupid stuff that annoy me.

Besides that I feel he is an unfair person sometimes and hypiqurid sometimes. But there is no way in the world I can proof that. I tried few times to tell him by giving a current example so he remembers. In my mind I am 100% sure I have the right to complain about it. Of course I don’t complain, but in a very nice way I try to make him see that the “problem” he is complaining about and giving me really hard time about it, is also something he dose….

But some how I almost ALWAYS am wrong and we end the discussion by me being an idiot/immature/irresponsible/selfish B. then he leaves the discussion very mad and ignores me for days and so. Meanwhile I am so so sad and feel like a huge ass, because he was right and I F’ed up again!!!

Well if I hold my tongue back and just go with it nothing will happen except he will annoy me big time.

The minute he leaves … I miss him!!!
 

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You need to put it to him that way. "I love you so much and when you're gone, I miss you. I think about you when I'm doing laundry. I just want to be close to you. But when you come home you seem to do things to put me off. When I try to bring them up so we can deal with them you get angry and we fight and I feel it's all my fault. But when you're gone I miss you again. I want to spend the time we have when you come home being with you and spending time with the man I miss, not arguing. What can we do?"

And fwiw, if he actually called you a "stupid b!tch" then I'd suggest counseling.
 

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There are ways to discuss a problem nicely without it turning into an argument. (1) Focus on the behavior, not the person. e.g. do not say you are a liar but say instead, you are not telling the real situation sometimes - in other words, do not brand the person, no name-calling!
(2) When citing a negative behavior, learn to somehow make the person feel good as well by showing appreciation for a good side - e.g. "Do you know what i like so much about you? i feel your love when you text or call to see how i am" ..praising the good side of a person will reinforce that behavior.
(3) When you know you are at fault, learn to humble yourself and say the single most important word - "sorry".
(4) if you can do this - maintain a loving touch while talking, the touch calms the nerves and will somehow keep a situation from being an explosive argument
(5) Instead of sounding like a complaint machine "you're not like this you're not like that"...say "i wish i can feel your romantic side more, it would be so wonderful"...see the difference of impact?
 
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