I some what get where you are coming with this, but I do not agree. We were together long before he was in law enforcement and it is ridiculous to think you can blame lack of emotion or connection on your job. While I do give him more grace, he still is accountable for staying checked in. I hate this police wife stigma that we should feel guilt for still having expectations within reason for our spouses. Your response is pretty assumptious of what my profession is (I am also encountering patients and trauma) and what I expect from him.So one thought is just this: you married a police officer and became a police wife. Part of OUR duty is to accept THEIR duty. They are who they are!
I hands down do not agree with “you knew what you signed up for”, because no one can know. In addition to the fact that we have been together for nearly ten years, it’s a pretty intense shift. I think people underestimate the sense of authority that goes to their head as well early in their career. That is a whole other can of worms we currently are working on, which is his inability to communicate with respect
We have done the love languages book but that could be a nice refresher. His love language is words of affirmation and gifts where mine is quality time and physics touch. Exact opposites!
I do appreciate the response. I think we have fundamental differences on the amount of effort we expect as far as maintaining a marriage, and there comes a point where both parties need to try to meet each other in the middle. There’s a fine line between making excusing and giving grace.