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Every once in a while I wonder if I am slowing down and I couldn’t really hang with 2x+ a day but I think it’d still be no problem.

I did fail on Sunday because I was already sleeping when my wife came to bed. Had we not had sex in the morning I probably would have forced myself to stay up or dragged her to the bedroom but I guess I was already satiated. Sad.
Being satiated is not sad. It's the goal of most people, CCP.
 

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Every once in a while I wonder if I am slowing down and I couldn’t really hang with 2x+ a day but I think it’d still be no problem.

I did fail on Sunday because I was already sleeping when my wife came to bed. Had we not had sex in the morning I probably would have forced myself to stay up or dragged her to the bedroom but I guess I was already satiated. Sad.
Right now I want it morning, noon, and night.2-3 times a day and I still want more.

But normally, once a day is perfectly good with me. I also tend to pleasure myself once a day or just about. It’s not that I couldn’t have sex more than once a day on a regular basis but I feel like I’m satisfied with once a day and have better things to do with the rest of my free time. Believe it or not, I don’t think sex is the greatest thing in the world. There are even some things that physically feel better to me as well and don’t leave me nearly as sweaty, covered in various other bodily fluids, and in need of a shower afterward.
 

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Being satiated is not sad. It's the goal of most people, CCP.
Yeah I know... It’s just when she came in all bubbly and woke me up and says, “Are you sleeping?” and the answer is yes because I am actually tired and I know she is going to stay up working until 1:30am and doesn’t necessarily want to be seducing my half-awake self I feel like I let 25 year old unlimited energy version of myself down.
 

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Discussion Starter · #44 ·
Not less than 5 when genuinely busy and more when off work. Started at around 15 per week and carried on with no children for three and half years. Children changed that but quality and duration went better.
My heroine!!
There could not be a more healthy and emotionally mature answer than this!

Bear in mind I have no authority or certification to approve 😎😎😎, but to my simple mind in sexual relationships this is the best.
 

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Right now I want it morning, noon, and night.2-3 times a day and I still want more.

But normally, once a day is perfectly good with me. I also tend to pleasure myself once a day or just about. It’s not that I couldn’t have sex more than once a day on a regular basis but I feel like I’m satisfied with once a day and have better things to do with the rest of my free time. Believe it or not, I don’t think sex is the greatest thing in the world. There are even some things that physically feel better to me as well and don’t leave me nearly as sweaty, covered in various other bodily fluids, and in need of a shower afterward.
Agreed on most of this.

A lot of my other behaviors that competed with sex like self-care, drinking to excess, and drugs at all (gone but not forgotten) I left in the rear view.

So I’m saying with no self care and porn I want it 2x usually morning and night but if my wife was wearing something hot during the day I am not opposed to trying for more especially on the weekends.
 

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Oh dear--at 50yo I like variety. Sometimes I like once a week...other times I like once a day! I think an average of about 2 or 3 times a week is perfect for me, because I do like a little anticipation.
Spot on. Building a little flirty tension in the mind turns up the fire. We tend to try and keep that going. At 30plus years together you have to do what you can. 👌
 

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Agreed on most of this.

A lot of my other behaviors that competed with sex like self-care, drinking to excess, and drugs at all (gone but not forgotten) I left in the rear view.

So I’m saying with no self care and porn I want it 2x usually morning and night but if my wife was wearing something hot during the day I am not opposed to trying for more especially on the weekends.
For me, I have to masturbate. I love it. It’s totally a different thing than sex. If I stopped with the self-care I don’t think I’d suddenly desire real sex any more than I already do. It’s like 2 separate types of desire for me. If I want to masturbate, that is specifically what I want to do and I don’t want anybody interrupting me or trying to turn it into an actual sex session.
 

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For me, I have to masturbate. I love it. It’s totally a different thing than sex. If I stopped with the self-care I don’t think I’d suddenly desire real sex any more than I already do. It’s like 2 separate types of desire for me. If I want to masturbate, that is specifically what I want to do and I don’t want anybody interrupting me or trying to turn it into an actual sex session.
That’s interesting. Since you desire both, I’m curious as to what turns you on to masturbation. Do you still think about your partner? Is it that kind of thing that gets your desire going, or is masturbation totally different?
 

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Yeah I know... It’s just when she came in all bubbly and woke me up and says, “Are you sleeping?” and the answer is yes because I am actually tired and I know she is going to stay up working until 1:30am and doesn’t necessarily want to be seducing my half-awake self I feel like I let 25 year old unlimited energy version of myself down.
Don't want her getting restless...
 
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I'd say yes, that could count for you.
This is about simple answers, not creation of obstacles to prevent answering.
I to totally agree but when you stop and think, there are no simple answers. The oversimplification of sexual intimacy is what tends to make it problematic. To many a higher frequency means less quality and a lower frequency often relates to higher quality. A less is more kind-of-thing. Then there is the length of each sexual encounter. I once polled TAM to discover the following.

Couple A) has sex once a week and for an elaborate session lasting for three hours of intense lovemaking.
Couple B) has sex five times a week with each session being simple and quick lasting no more than fifteen minutes.

I would argue that couple A) is having twice as much sex and much better sex than compared to couple B) based on the total amount of time per week spent having sex. So you may want to include the "length" of each sexual encounter as part of your query and you may find that very enlightening.

I am not shy about my details, but I am trying to make you think about the question you asked.

Badsanta
 

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I to totally agree but when you stop and think, there are no simple answers. The oversimplification of sexual intimacy is what tends to make it problematic. To many a higher frequency means less quality and a lower frequency often relates to higher quality. A less is more kind-of-thing. Then there is the length of each sexual encounter. I once polled TAM to discover the following.

Couple A) has sex once a week and for an elaborate session lasting for three hours of intense lovemaking.
Couple B) has sex five times a week with each session being simple and quick lasting no more than fifteen minutes.

I would argue that couple A) is having twice as much sex and much better sex than compared to couple B) based on the total amount of time per week spent having sex. So you may want to include the "length" of each sexual encounter as part of your query and you may find that very enlightening.

I am not shy about my details, but I am trying to make you think about the question you asked.

Badsanta
Wow, I prefer long sex sessions but I think even I’d get bored with 3 hours!!!
 

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At 50 my ideal frequency for shared sex¹ would be 10-12x a week, inclusive of masturbating myself at around 2-3x a week.

While the current reality for me with my almost 51 year old wife, for shared sex is most often at a frequency of 6-9x a week (with 4-6x of that being on the weekend), with masturbation for me being at around 3-5x a week (mostly on weekdays).



Although there are some weeks, mostly when my wife has her usual monthly (for the moment fortnightly) RDO, or when we are on holidays. When we still manage a shared sex frequency of 11-14x a week, with masturbation for me being at around 1-2x a week.

At the lower end when we have a week that is limited through the demands of other external activities. We share sex at 4-6x a week, with my self masturbating at 4-8x a week.

There was also a significant dip to around 4-7x a week of shared sex (and I was fine with that), when we were in our early thirties, As a consequence of work demands and having young kids as well. Yet our late 30s saw things improve significantly.



That said I have no doubt my ideal frequency will decrease over time, fortunately I haven't had any sexual problems so far. Since when I was in my late teens through my twenties, my ideal was 14-18x a week of shared sex. And I usually had that frequency and occasionally even higher, when in ongoing sexual relationships. Including with my wife, ex-wife and a few others back then.

One thing for sure at this age I don't think I would settle for a shared sex frequency, of 3x a week or less as the norm with my wife. Without ending our relationship and seeking sex elsewhere, or carrying on with her and seeking sex elsewhere to try to meet the shortfall.

I figure if I live past 70, I will be doing well, to enjoy some form of shared sex at 2-3x a week after that. Of which the fact that I had grandparents who were still sharing sex in their 80s, tells me that it is possible.



Also since @badsanta mentioned time taken. Morning sex for us tends to be around 15-30 minutes, daytime and evening sex at home or in accommodation tends to be around 40-80 minutes, while outdoor sex as opportunity presents (with no-one around) tends to be at around 5-15 minutes.



¹ Shared sex for my wife and I mostly sees us at least share penis in vagina sex, plus penis in rectum sex and oral sex as well. While standalone oral sex for either of us is fairly infrequent (since it usually turns into all of the rest). Although it does happen from time to time, and is usually done on request.
 

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What's your personal opinion of how many sexual encounters with your SO in a week, or whatever range.

10-15 encounters/week personal opinion now. Anything less than 5 would be a disappointment for both of us, we love the bonding. The "ideal" has changed up and down many times, has been as low as 2-3 and as high as it is now over our long marriage but we have always been nearly on the "same page", whoever was on the low side always put in an effort to match whichever was the higher drive.
 
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