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I've been in a very serious relationship for a while now but I'm pretty much a newb when it comes to relationships and love. I have trouble knowing what the right thing to do is when it comes to certain situations. My main problem at the moment is my best friend (I'll call him R) told me he's in love with me. My boyfriend (I'll call him J) has had problems with this guy for a while because he was insecure that I would leave him for the R because of the good friendship we have. Things were okay after I told him I had no feelings for R and R had no feelings for me.

Obviously that situation has changed now with R telling me he's in love with me and has been for a while. I know if the situation was reversed and J had a friend who was in love with him I would be super uncomfortable. I just don't know now what to do with this information. I see R like my little brother and feel a really good bond with him, but I can't help feeling its unfair to both of them to continue this friendship. I've talked to him about how I'm in love with J and am going to marry him and I'd really like it if he could keep his feelings to himself, it feels evil though. Should I end this friendship? And if ending it is the right thing to do how on earth do I go about this? I'm his best friend and the only person he tells everything to. How will I live with the guilt? :(
 

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Make your boundries clear to your friend and if he ever does step over the line then it is time to end things. Situations like this are hard because you put yourself into a position to cheat and have open options there, however, if both of you can act proper there is no reason to end a friendship. If it makes you feel uneasy, such as he tries for you again or tries to kiss you or to take up to much of your time it is time to end things atleast for some time. Your friend needs to respect you.

draconis
 

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I think you should end the friendship if you are serious about marrying your man.....wouldn't you want him to end a similar friendship? It's not fair to the friend either....he would always be thinking in the back of his mind that there was some hope. Just not a good idea all the way around, you already know what's right because you said it felt kind of 'evil' to continue the friendship. It will be hard to end it, but usually doing the right thing is NOT EASY.

You just tell him that you love him like a friend and nothing more and you believe that he will never move on to find someone if the friendship continues....and the guilt and sadness, you will just have to deal with it, but know in your heart that what you did was actually best for your friend...

.... LOL....good luck
 

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I think setting boundaries is the right thing to do and if he don't abide by them then yes for all concerned I think the best thing to do is end the friendship. Once your married your husband and that relationship needs to become first.
 
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