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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all men out there,
What would you like your wife to do for u? How would you like them to be?

I am asking this to spice up our marriage and make up for the lost last six months. We have six months old twin boys and last six months was sooo busy and stressful. We hardly had time for each other let alone romance. He also worked extra hard to provide for two new people and only comes home very late. The stress has caused us to fight, ignore and full faces at each other. I feel that i have neglected my husband all these months while being busy with the babies...........now the babies are 6 months and it seems a bit easier. But I feel like i forgot how to be his adorable wife :p The babies seem to be taking all his attention and i miss him. Perhaps he felt the same way during the last six months??? I dont know.

You can give me ideas of any sort but we cant afford to go on couple time much as we have no one to help with the babies.

thanks in advance
 

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I'm not a man, but I can imagine what most of them would say, hot sex every night. :rofl: However, since I'm NOT a man, I can tell you to cut yourself some slack. While your husband may be feeling a little bit neglected, it's only normal that you would be less amorous after taking care of twins every day.

If you can't afford a babysitter, why not make the time that they're napping special. You don't have to make everything about sex, though. Just spend time close to him, tell him how much you appreciate his providing for you and the twins, let him know how much you think he's doing a great job as a dad and husband. Make sure that he knows that as the children get older, you will be able to concentrate more on your relationship, but right now they need you. Just don't shut him down completely. Also, if he would help you take care of the kids and get them down earlier in the evening, it would give you extra time to concentrate just on HIM.

Hope that helps!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
mamab,
Hehe....sex is a good idea but the problem is thats one of the area i m trying to spice up:scratchhead:. Its not the same ever since i gave birth and especially after a small friction between us. Actually, now i m the one who feels neglected coz he seems to spend all his time with the babies lately and i miss him.

You have given me some good ideas, gonna try them;)
 

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I hope that something I've said DOES help. I know having kids can be a strain on marriages, but it's important to let your hubby know that he's still the priority. Your children will grow up and move on, he'll still be around.
 

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Thewife~When my wife and I had our first child the child was in the hospitol for the first 45 days. Every waking hour was spent there. Work, sleep or hospital. We also had my son to juggle too. My wife then became hospitalized, even harder on the family. But I never thought I was neglected as a husband. I understood.

It is great that you want to get your relationship going again.

Here is the one thing I'd do find a family member grandparents work that will watch them for a night or even a few hours so that you can have alone time to continue the magic with your hubby. Even if it is to sit at home and watch movies and cuddle. Or go for walks that are in attractive and romantic places. As long as you two have time for yourselves.

If you find that you have regular time maybe you can even spend it on under the covers fire works.

draconis
 

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do an in home romance party. There are several companies out there, and they all have great products - lotions, games, toys, sexy clothes, body paints. Most of them do women only parties, but there are some to that do couples parties. It would be a great way to get your friends all together to have a silly evening. They are soooo much fun!!!!
 

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Hi TheWife,

Firstly hats off to you for making an effort to bring back some spark in the relationship.

It's hard enough raising one child let alone twins so please dont be too hard on yourself.

I think all reasonable men (including your hubby of course) will know they feel neglected but will be happy to take a back seat to the most precious gifts you've got.

As you are no doubt discovering having some intimate time with the hubby is now about military type planning as you need to work around the babies timetable.

If you both can be open about the situation then plan ahead and have your romantic session when the babies are a sleep.

I certainly remember the days when we had to plan around our baby's sleeping times and during those couple of hours it was the best sessions because we both had a goal of making it our quality time.

Best of luck.

Cheers:smthumbup:
 

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I agree, awesome that you recognize this. I have 4 kids and I know how hard it is to balance your time between mom and wife.

You know something we do is every night the house quiets down at 7:30..(my kids are older so this works, something for future maybe)It's reading or quiet Tv...Then by 8 every one is in bed, that gives hubby and I about an hour of "us"...Then we are off to bed. It's a schedule we keep, weekends is a little later but the same idea..

As far as now, with the twins being so young still, take advantage of their sleeping.. When they sleep let the dishes wait. Unless they are stacked ten miles high they can wait..Let that load of laundry wait a bit...Because the mintue you let go of that little bit of alone time is the minute everything will fall apart...

Good luck and again awesome that you guys can work on this ...
 

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When it comes to sex, you will find that your body has undergone changes here or there, and at least for a little while, the sexual "favorites" may not come so easy and you may need to "slide into them". I'm sure you will find some new and just as wonderful things to do.
Naptime is exactly the time to start getting back into things, but I would recommend that you spend a week or two just holding each other. You may find for the first few days that you or both of you fall dead asleep, and that's OK. Speak to each other softly and look at each other's face. You can talk about anything at all, but beginning to remember what life was like before the twins, or even before your marriage, would be a good start.
You'll know when it's time to pet. Maybe you like your cheek stroked, for example, and you know what your hubby likes. You'll also know the time is right for sex. Be friends, be affectionate, have fun, be giving of yourself, even be silly. It can be so sweet to reconnect, and it sounds that you two are ready to begin. Good luck to both of you.
 
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