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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
The circumcision legality thread reminded me of a situation a friend shared with me last year where I was honestly stumped as to what I would have done in that situation.

My girlfriend confided in me that the new guy she was dating was uncircumcised. She was so bothered by it that she could not bring herself to have sex with him. To add insult to injury, she didn't find out that he was uncircumcised until things were hot and heavy, and well on their way to "happy, jolly, good times". I cringed when she told me how things went after that discovery. Let's just say embarrassment, anger, hurt were all involved and there was lots of finger pointing over who was the bigger asshole.

Anyways, I have no personal sexual experience with uncircumcised men but based on what I've seen in porn my first reaction was "what's the big freaking deal. for the most part, it doesn't look THAT different". However I realized when she shared a description that the poor man had phimosis. At that point it made sense why she was taken aback. Again, I haven't had this experience in real life but still remember studying about phimosis in college and seeing the drawings. It looks quite different from an uncircumcised penis.

I still to this day don't know how I would have reacted but I'm not one to throw a good lesson away. I have made a mental note to ask future partners about circumcision BEFORE happy, jolly, fun times.

TAM ladies, how would you have handled this situation?

TAM gentlemen, how would you prefer a situation like this be handled by a potential sexual partner?


EDIT:.
expand...
Let me make one correction.... I don't know for sure it was phimosis but only assumed based on her description. She said the head was not visible and he was erect. I added a medical journal drawing to show what she described to me. Best I can tell it looked like Type III in the diagram. Could it just have had a lot of foreskin?
 

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Totally got distracted by researching phimosis. Ugh. I would get that corrected personally.

That is a weird one @Lila and I'm not sure how I would want a lady to handle it.

Sex with a new partner has always been fairly hot and passionate naturally and I'm at a loss to figure out when a good time for her to ask an awkward question would be.

It could easily be a mood killer or jump the gun on the issue of having sex to begin with because ask too early and he will think, probably correctly, that you are thinking about sex with him.

I probably wouldn't have any issues if we were being a little flirty and we both had some mutual attraction going in that direction anyway.

It would be good to find out any deal breakers before my shorts got pulled down though so bringing it up way before that would be better! LoL!

This one is sooooo weird!😁
 

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I had to Google Phimosis and omg, it looks so painful!! Eek.

I haven't been with an uncircumcised man either, so admittedly it would be...different I guess?? Not sure what the right word is. In the situation above, not sure I could bring myself to have sex with him because it looks so painful...surely it would hurt like hell??

But all things being equal (hygienic etc), if I met a new man, it honestly wouldn't bother me.
 

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I don't believe a man should go get circumcised because his new girlfriend doesn't like his penis, it just means they're not compatible. That's a big ask of someone.
I agree. Uncircumcised men don't have anything wrong with them. Phimosis in adults should be corrected in my humble opinion.

Women have reported no noticable difference in the sexual experience with uncircumcised men unless they were huge. Really big guys that are uncircumcised, girth anyway, sometimes makes it a little easier. I'm sure I'm getting off topic but this is technically a penis thread.😉
 

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Again Im reading down the thread and the in column ad asks "Shopping for a new bike?" In column ads are not working for me.
So note to update dating profile with circumcision status. Though I really think the ED status is going to be the bigger shocker.
 

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Totally got distracted by researching phimosis. Ugh. I would get that corrected personally.

That is a weird one @Lila and I'm not sure how I would want a lady to handle it.

Sex with a new partner has always been fairly hot and passionate naturally and I'm at a loss to figure out when a good time for her to ask an awkward question would be.

It could easily be a mood killer or jump the gun on the issue of having sex to begin with because ask too early and he will think, probably correctly, that you are thinking about sex with him.

I probably wouldn't have any issues if we were being a little flirty and we both had some mutual attraction going in that direction anyway.

It would be good to find out any deal breakers before my shorts got pulled down though so bringing it up way before that would be better! LoL!

This one is sooooo weird!😁
Let me make one correction.... I don't know for sure it was phimosis but only assumed based on her description. She said the head was not visible and he was erect. Could it just have had a lot of foreskin?

Anyways, yes, this is a weird one. And I agree that there is lots of risk with bringing up something like circumcision into a conversation with a potential partner. I wonder if people in other countries where most men are uncircumcised have this issue with uncircumcised men?
 

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Don't over complicate new dates. You're compatible until you're not. This is obviously an issue for you, for some folks, not for others.

Again, this is totally your call. It will only complicate your life if you ask for a zillion opinions before you make up your mind what YOU would prefer.

Then oh well. Pass if want to.
 

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I had to Google Phimosis and omg, it looks so painful!! Eek.

I haven't been with an uncircumcised man either, so admittedly it would be...different I guess?? Not sure what the right word is. In the situation above, not sure I could bring myself to have sex with him because it looks so painful...surely it would hurt like hell??

But all things being equal (hygienic etc), if I met a new man, it honestly wouldn't bother me.
@frusdil, just out of curiosity since you're a woman, do you have any idea how you would've handled a situation like the one I described above?

I'm flummoxed. The only thing I could come up with when I put myself into that situation is "deer in the headlights". That's all I got.
 

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Where is Faithful Wife when you need her? She probably has a few pics on her penis wall of shame.

It would seem that in countries where most men aren't cut that it wouldn't be a surprise. The time to inquire would be when you have the convo about birth control, likes & dislikes etc. That would also be a good time to disclose if a woman has had a mastectomy. Or, one has a colostomy bag.

eta: How to handle it would be as gently as possible. No reason to make the guy feel like he is deformed.
 

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Don't over complicate new dates. You're compatible until you're not. This is obviously an issue for you, for some folks, not for others.

Again, this is totally your call. It will only complicate your life if you ask for a zillion opinions before you make up your mind what YOU would prefer.

Then oh well. Pass if want to.
@Ragnar Ragnasson, did you read the OP? It describes a specific scenario well beyond the circumcised or not argument.

The question I asked is how would you, as a man in a similar situation, want your sexual partner to essentially back out of sex after realizing there's a deal breaker that involves the way your penis looks ( for lack of a better way to describe it)?
 

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Again Im reading down the thread and the in column ad asks "Shopping for a new bike?" In column ads are not working for me.
So note to update dating profile with circumcision status. Though I really think the ED status is going to be the bigger shocker.
If you were the guy in the scenario I presented, how would you want the sexual partner to back out of sex with you?
 

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Let me make one correction.... I don't know for sure it was phimosis but only assumed based on her description. She said the head was not visible and he was erect. Could it just have had a lot of foreskin?

Anyways, yes, this is a weird one. And I agree that there is lots of risk with bringing up something like circumcision into a conversation with a potential partner. I wonder if people in other countries where most men are uncircumcised have this issue with uncircumcised men?
It could have been a lot of foreskin
 

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Where is Faithful Wife when you need her? She probably has a few pics on her penis wall of shame.

It would seem that in countries where most men aren't cut that it wouldn't be a surprise. The time to inquire would be when you have the convo about birth control, likes & dislikes etc. That would also be a good time to disclose if a woman has had a mastectomy. Or, one has a colostomy bag.

eta: How to handle it would be as gently as possible. No reason to make the guy feel like he is deformed.
YES! I need @Faithful Wife to weigh in on this.

Those are all good points about disclosing ahead of time and it's the route I've taken when meeting new potential sexual partners. I have a surgical scar on my body that is not very attractive. I let every man I've contemplated having sex with know ahead of time it's there. Of the men I've told, one guy thought it was sexy as hell, the other two were indifferent, and the last (oddly enough he was the oldest) was completely turned off by it. It's the same with my boobs. Some were indifferent to the implants, one was turned off.

As far how to respond to the scenario, how would one go about being as gentle as possible while bailing out on sex after the clothes have started coming off? I think this is a white lie situation.
 

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@Ragnar Ragnasson, did you read the OP? It describes a specific scenario well beyond the circumcised or not argument.

The question I asked is how would you, as a man in a similar situation, want your sexual partner to essentially back out of sex after realizing there's a deal breaker that involves the way your penis looks ( for lack of a better way to describe it)?
I'd say there's only one reply, which is; ok well it's your call, unfortunately it isn't working out.

What else could be said, I mean really?

He already knew what his peen looks like.

What is she assuming, he's too fragile to have what's just a compatibility step not work out? They're only dating.
 

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My last comment is: myself I have been C, and most male friends have, some friends haven't, one person did in middle age, all in all just different flavors, no big deal. Preferences and such win the day I suppose.

Wow, and things we don't mind sharing as we reach an older age. 😉
 

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I'll be honest.

I've never found an uncircumcised penis to be attractive at all. I've always thought it looked like one of those Shar-pei dogs when not erect. Just not a fan.

But I certainly wouldn't have done what your friend did had I been in the same position, embarrassing him and humiliating him. At the same time, he could have warned her that he had a 'condition' that affected his foreskin and the appearance of his penis, for God's sakes. So he's no innocent victim in all this.

What would I have done? I would have either faked my own death until he left my place, or more likely, I would have taken a few more slugs of my Grand Mariner until I couldn't see straight anymore and then followed through with the program.
 
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