Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there, I have a question for you. About ten years ago my BIL cheated on his then fiancée. He involved me and my family in these adventures. Several times my husband and I either picked up or took home several girls. I had a very hard time with this and asked many times not to be involved. It got to the point, after voicing my disgust with him that I spoke to my MIL about this and she just blew me off. I went to a couple of priest and discussed with them what to do. After a few weeks of pondering this and talking with my husband, I went to the preacher who was counseling the couple, thinking that would be a good place for them to address this issue. Well, as you imagine that did not go over very well. My BIL denied everything, my MIlL told the fiancée that I was lying and my husband agreed with them that I was just being vindictive and mean spirited. Fast forward 8 years. I do not talk to my SIL, we do not attend family functions together, we stay away from each other at all costs. My husband and her husband are twins and they own a business together. They come from an affluent family, but my husband decided to take different path a long time ago. We live in a modest home and live pay check to pay check. My BIL and SIL act like they are better than us and frequently make comments to this fact. My SIL once told my husband that since he did not go to college, he did not the right to correct her grammar..... Anyway, recently we were asked to attend a family vacation. At first we declined, but after thinking about it we decided to join them. I started inquiring about the vacation and got really strange reactions. My husband came home that night pissed off..... He told me to quit bothering people with my questions about the vacation and he just went off on me...finally he told me that my SIL had told him that if we went on the vacation she and her family would not go. She also implied that the "fam" wants to spend time with her family and not ours. My husband told her that we would stay home. I was more hurt by his actions than hers. What do you do? What is the best way to handle this? I know I can not turn back the clock. Suggestions???
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,256 Posts
For 10 years your husband has chosen HIS FAMILY over YOU.

If you can live with it, then do so. Be quiet and let your husband have the kind of relationship HE wants with HIS family. If you want to keep him happy and he wants to see his family alone, then let him.

If you cannot live with it, then you need to establish WHERE your boundary is, address this issue with H (perhaps in MC) and keep it.
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top