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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My husband and I have been having a ruff time.. Due to his ex wife and kids and he is unemployed, he does not talk to me about things anymore. I recently had a pap and it came back abnormal and I have to go back in, It may be crevical cancer.. Do I tell him and add more drama to his life or just deal with it my self.
 

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Yes you tell him. He's your husband, you really shouldn't feel like you have to hide this from him!
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Yes, you tell him. Most likely it's nothing, but today it is his responsibility to stand up and be strong for you, not the other way around.
 

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Eh... I would wait to have it repeated. Abnormal paps can be due to many reasons. If you were on your period right before or right after, it can cause an abnormal result. I'd have it checked out a bit more before saying anything if you believe he's under a lot of stress.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
This is very hard. I want him to know and I want his support. But I really dont want to add stress on him. Plus it is hard cause he is not sharing things with me about what is going on with him.

:scratchhead:
 

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My husband and I have been having a ruff time.. Due to his ex wife and kids and he is unemployed, he does not talk to me about things anymore. I recently had a pap and it came back abnormal and I have to go back in, It may be crevical cancer.. Do I tell him and add more drama to his life or just deal with it my self.
Abnormal paps can be as simple as yeast infection..IF its HPV (the most common cause) if you go for regular visits I doubt its cervical cancer...
 

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This is very hard. I want him to know and I want his support. But I really dont want to add stress on him. Plus it is hard cause he is not sharing things with me about what is going on with him.

:scratchhead:
I am one of those types of guys. I don't naturally share some of that stuff because I feel it is part of my job to take care of it for my wife. Not a good approach, but it is my first inclination. I have to work hard to make sure I keep her in the loop about stuff.

With all that said, I want my wife to share these things so I can support her. I want to be the person that can help her with that stuff.

What I don't know is if you husband is that way, or is he the type that shuts down with this type of stress. If he is not, then telling him is probably a good thing (though I defer those knowledgable about the likelihood of it being something serious).
 

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It doesn't matter that this pap is probably nothing. It causes you concern, like it would anyone who got this result. Getting support from your spouse when you have concerns is sort of the definition of marriage, and you shouldn't hesitate to tell him unless his life this last week has been one long country song.

If he can't support you for this, what do you do when a truly terrible thing happens to you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I told my husband last night.. The Dr called me yestureday and there are a few things he wants to take care of. And that is cervical cancer....... My husband talked about his ex wife and then did not say any more. I am not sure if I did the right thing by talking to him about it.:(
 

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You didnt get into detail about what the problem was with the ex wife.

I know if it were me, being out of a job would give me a lot of stress and I would be down because i wasnt supporting my family. As a man, my worst fear is not being able to do my share of support financially.

He is probably a bit depressed, very stressed, and he may be holding back. You did the right thing to tell him. The timing is awful, but thats not your fault. I would want to know regardless of whats going on in my life. Maybe if he is sulking, this will snap him out of it. Hopefully your health will get better.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
His exwife got him on deprvation of parental rights which is a fellony. 3 out of 4 boys (2 are 10 1 is 12) did not want to go to her house and he did not make them they have lived with us for 3 years and very seldum went to her house. She called the police and charged him. He is depressed. Thank you all for listening I have a hard time talking to people where I live Small town......
 
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