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Been married for seven yrs.Wife says shes not happy.I dont compliment,take her out or buy her flowers often enough. I work f/t and so does she. Im always the one cooking/cleaning. I ask her why she cant help out and I get Im not happy. In the last 2 yrs she has left me 2 times. We bought another house in Nov 2011 and she moved there while we worked on things. She came back April 2012.She again left and went back to the other house of Oct 2012. Says again shes not happy.Myself Im simple. I work then like to come home and relax. She likes going out and having fun. She works shift work and when I get home at 4pm I have to cook and clean. So I became a bit grumpy after 7 yrs of this. She bought a car in June 2012 with out even discussing with me. Says Its my payment not yours.I work hard and deserve it.. When I came into the relationship her son,my step son was 7. Hes now 14. He doesnt take the garbage out,dishes clean his room or pick up after himself. She gives him everything he wants and there is no discipline. I ask him to do something he pretty much tells me to go f myself. I ask her and her comment is I never had to to do no chores so why should he? I want him to be a kid...... I recently started hanging out with a girl.She got jealous and started coming around,cooking me dinner and being intiment. Says she wanted to work on things? I ask her why the sudden change? Is it good for a month or 2 like last time or???. Says shes taking a risk? She was hanging out with a guy and I was a little jealous. About a month ago I took her out for dinner and she ran to this guy an hour later. Said she would come over on such a date to talk and hang out never call or show up?. Call her on the cell phone and she answers. I ask whats going on? Ur at his house and said you would be here. She tells me its none of my business whats shes doing there.Last Friday I spent the whole day shopping with her,had a nice dinner. I told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her.After it was all said and done I ran to the girl Ive been hanging out like my wife didnt matter. I dont know why? She is a very nice attractive girl and makes me feel good about myself.I dont have the same feelings for her as I do my wife. Anyway not sure?. I love her but dont want to get back into a relationship with her cause Im worried she will be content for a month or 2 then decide to leave again. Seems I meet someone she dont like it,but when at home all bummed out shes out doing her thing?. Any one have similar relationships?. Would appreciate some feed back please and thank you.
 

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So basically she has you and a boyfriend on the side.

And you are trying to win your wife back but have a girlfriend on the side. All sounds pretty immature.

If you can both get rid of your side playmates, return to living in one house and go to marriage counseling, that's what I'd suggest. Otherwise, why bother? Divorce and move on.
 

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Thanks for summing it Chris... I appreciate the honesty. I told her we both give 100 % and she said she cant... She doesnt trust me and as for living under the same roof thats out of the question. I suggested counseling and she told me she didnt need it.... I guess that answers the question where we stand?.
 

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She says that she can't give 100% to your relationship.That's your answer right there. File for divorce.

YOu say that you are both living in seperate houses but you do all the housework. Do you do the housework in both houses?

What benefit is she getting out of your marriage? Do you pay any of her bills?
 

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Don't get pissed off too much when you read this, but I'm going to suggest that your wife is not very attracted to you. I'm basing this on your original post quoted below.

Been married for seven yrs.Wife says shes not happy.
that's too bad. When did she start saying this?

I dont compliment,take her out or buy her flowers often enough.
Those are generally things you do to win a woman, but they really aren't necessary to keep her. How good are you at following The 16 Commandments?

Im always the one cooking/cleaning.
Well, that's a big demonstration of low male value right there. You won't get laid by being her maid, you'll just turn her off and make her "unhaaaapy."

I ask her why she cant help out and I get Im not happy.
Quit being the maid and start demonstrating high male value and she might get happier.

In the last 2 yrs she has left me 2 times. We bought another house in Nov 2011 and she moved there while we worked on things. She came back April 2012.She again left and went back to the other house of Oct 2012.
This was to facilitate her trysts with men who demonstrate higher value.

Says again shes not happy.
She's not haaappy because she has outside men friends and you haven't even noticed. That's a demonstration of lower value.

Myself Im simple. I work then like to come home and relax.
That sounds reasonable enough.

She likes going out and having fun.
That's because she gets to dress up and go out and grind on guy's legs on the dance floor and hear how hot she is. And other things that turn her on and make her happy.

She works shift work and when I get home at 4pm I have to cook and clean.
No you don't. And you shouldn't. Women don't get turned on by having their own wife. Your wife would be doing this, but she's not sexually attracted to you. Your actions are making you chick repellant. Sure, a guy should help out, but if he has to be the maid, the relationship is in big, big trouble.

So I became a bit grumpy after 7 yrs of this.
I bet the sex is infrequent and perfunctory, right?

She bought a car in June 2012 with out even discussing with me. Says Its my payment not yours.I work hard and deserve it.
She has no respect for you. I bet there are some other things she deserves, too. She gets that when she's out at night.

When I came into the relationship her son,my step son was 7.
She married you strictly as a beta-provider. This is manifestation of female hypergamy. I suppose the sex tapered off pretty quickly in quantity and quality after the first couple years. Contrary to what you might reasonably expect, men who agree to take on a woman and her offspring are very infrequently truly appreciated by such a woman. In fact, it's kind of an attraction killer to her that you're the kind of guy who would actually be willing to settle for someone with her baggage. Sure, some women are appreciative, but your's is not.

Hes now 14. He doesnt take the garbage out,dishes clean his room or pick up after himself.
Are you his maid, too?

She gives him everything he wants and there is no discipline. I ask him to do something he pretty much tells me to go f myself. I ask her and her comment is I never had to to do no chores so why should he?
She doesn't respect you and neither does her son. Why should they? The older he gets, the less you're needed. Once the kid is out of the house, your wife will be gone as well.

I recently started hanging out with a girl.She got jealous and started coming around,cooking me dinner and being intiment. Says she wanted to work on things? I ask her why the sudden change? Is it good for a month or 2 like last time or???. Says shes taking a risk?
Women take their attraction cues from other women. A man with a soft harem is demonstrating higher value. 80% of women tend to be attracted to only 20% of the men. This is prevalent through nature and is called the Pareto Principle or 80/20 rule. The more women you have after you, the more you will be sexually attractive to your wife. They validate her choice. Your wife needs that validation and the more she sees other women validate you, the more she'll want you. She wants to be your one and only, at least until her son is on his own.


She was hanging out with a guy and I was a little jealous. About a month ago I took her out for dinner and she ran to this guy an hour later. Said she would come over on such a date to talk and hang out never call or show up?. Call her on the cell phone and she answers. I ask whats going on? Ur at his house and said you would be here. She tells me its none of my business whats shes doing there.
If you can't figure it out, this guy is her most recent affair partner.

Last Friday I spent the whole day shopping with her,had a nice dinner. I told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her.After it was all said and done I ran to the girl Ive been hanging out like my wife didnt matter. I dont know why? She is a very nice attractive girl and makes me feel good about myself.I dont have the same feelings for her as I do my wife. Anyway not sure?.
Both evolutionary science and the Bible tell us that men are polygynous by nature. That means they want more than one woman at a time. While this is true, I doubt if your marriage vows allowed for that practice. Quit seeing the new girl until your divorce is final.

I love her but dont want to get back into a relationship with her cause Im worried she will be content for a month or 2 then decide to leave again. Seems I meet someone she dont like it,but when at home all bummed out shes out doing her thing?. Any one have similar relationships?. Would appreciate some feed back please and thank you.
Your wife gets attracted to you when other women are attracted to you. That's totally natural; it's the way they're wired. She also has to keep you on the hook providing for her spawn, which is why she married you in the first place. You need to either step up your game and increase attraction or get rid of her. She's an adulteress in any case.
 
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