Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 769 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It will be 3 months since my STBXW dropped the bomb on me that she filed for D.We have been in NC/LC for since 6 weeks ago, and has progesively become NC. We have 2 small boys, and are forced to see each other at least once a week. No posOM, since the bomb, she has been partying it up, w/ some new friends, spending alot of $$ out of the business account (which she cant afford) all when i have the kids.

Then when it is her turn to have the kids she is in single mom mode, all the while running a brand new business (1.5 new)

My problem is that I have (as of 6 weeks ago) been taking inventory, if you call it, of what she have been doing. I have been watching her from 50k ft. I have access to her business bank acount, i have photos of her partying & drinking (when i have kids), and I have caught her lying about going out of town when she had the kids, she left then with my MIL.

I have not exposed any of this to her or my family, friends, or inlaws. I am at a cross road here or at least have been thinking aobut this.

Do I sit her down, (remember we have been on texting terms only since she left), and tell her that I know what she has been up to and essetially give her an ultimatum. An utlimatum of shape up, work on your M and being a mom or ship out, we go to court split everything up and I am going to ask for alot more than what she is comfortable with. And I may have to expose her behavior to court and family what she has been up to.

Or do i still do NOTHING, keep working on me, ignore her, and make her finish what she started with the D. Keep letting her go.

I am at a point where, unless the STBXW made some serious strides and accpeted that she has some problems (probably more than me, when she wanted out) and really put 110% into the M and our children, then as Howie Mandell says "No Deal"!

I am torn, becuase although the 180 is working great, I feel great, look great, i am confident i could go out and get a better upgraded version of my STBXW (LOL), my morals tell me that the RIGHT thing to do is be a family unit with my STBXW.

What to do, what to do!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,355 Posts
It will be 3 months since my STBXW dropped the bomb on me that she filed for D.We have been in NC/LC for since 6 weeks ago, and has progesively become NC. We have 2 small boys, and are forced to see each other at least once a week. No posOM, since the bomb, she has been partying it up, w/ some new friends, spending alot of $$ out of the business account (which she cant afford) all when i have the kids.

Then when it is her turn to have the kids she is in single mom mode, all the while running a brand new business (1.5 new)

My problem is that I have (as of 6 weeks ago) been taking inventory, if you call it, of what she have been doing. I have been watching her from 50k ft. I have access to her business bank acount, i have photos of her partying & drinking (when i have kids), and I have caught her lying about going out of town when she had the kids, she left then with my MIL.

I have not exposed any of this to her or my family, friends, or inlaws. I am at a cross road here or at least have been thinking aobut this.

Do I sit her down, (remember we have been on texting terms only since she left), and tell her that I know what she has been up to and essetially give her and ultimatum. An utlimatum of shape up, work on your M and being a mom or ship out, we go to court split everything up and I am going to ask for alot more than what she is comfortable with. And I may have to expose her behavior to court and family what she has been up to.

Or do i still do NOTHING, keep working on me, ignore her, and make her finish what she started with the D. Keep letting her go.

I am at a point where, unless the STBXW made some serious strides and accpeted that she has some problems (probably more than me, when she wanted out) and really put 110% into the M and our children, then as Howie Mandell says "No Deal"!

I am torn, becuase although the 180 is working great, I feel great, look great, i am confident i could go out and get a better upgraded version of my STBXW (LOL), my morals tell me that the RIGHT thing to do is be a family unit with my STBXW.

What to do, what to do!
Any chance you can track down posOM?

They always mess up.



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Conrad!

Nice to meet you, i have read so many great things about you!

That is the reason for me digging here and there to find a posOM. To me it only makes sense at this point. But the more I dig, the more i come up empty handed. Or she may be hiding it REALLY well.

Keep in mind she is living with my MIL too. Not that it makes it difficult to have an posOM on the side.

I can keep looking.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,355 Posts
Conrad!

Nice to meet you, i have read so many great things about you!

That is the reason for me digging here and there to find a posOM. To me it only makes sense at this point. But the more I dig, the more i come up empty handed. Or she may be hiding it REALLY well.

Keep in mind she is living with my MIL too. Not that it makes it difficult to have an posOM on the side.

I can keep looking.
Do you have access to her car at all?

A VAR under her car seat will do the job.



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i have looked into that, although, it would be extremely difficult for me to distract her to get to her car.

On top of that she had her mom buy her a new car that she cant afford.

Question, what if there was a posOM, what am i suppose to do with that info? Expose the h$ll out her? What does that accomplish?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,355 Posts
i have looked into that, although, it would be extremely difficult for me to distract her to get to her car.

On top of that she had her mom buy her a new car that she cant afford.

Question, what if there was a posOM, what am i suppose to do with that info? Expose the h$ll out her? What does that accomplish?
Exposing to posOMW will likely end the affair.

At a minimum, it will crack the affair fog.



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,788 Posts
Your wife bailed, she is no longer your problem so watch her hit rock bottom and in time she will come back asking for forgiveness and by then you have already moved on. It happen alot here in this forum.

So lets kiss the marriage good by...but from a parents point of view is she there for the kids...I would say not, mine wasn't....when you look close enough they are more on the texting crap then watching there kid look for pescription drugs in mommies cabinet.

So my point you can never afford to let your kids hit rock bottom along with there mother.

Your stance should be more inline with the welfare of the kids and the poor parenting she is doing.

My old lady can be in the kitchen with the kids , but be miles away as the kid sips wine out of the frig.

My point, your exposure should be more focused on parenting rather then a spouse.

Keep an out for your kids, when the little one get older they will have a great example of how to have fun by watching their mom today.

Lets face it your watching there mother, the mother is watch for the next party and niether one of...well maybe your MIL is watching the kids.


Anyway stop watching your STBXW and start watching your kids. You wife can go ahead and hit rock, you can't afford to let your kids do the same
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
conrad

To me, even is there was a posOM, then it would not matter to me.

If she wants this NEW life and OM that will probably/statistically not work out, go for it. He would have to show face eventually, he cant stay in the dark forever.

Plus, if he wants to help her raise to little boys, lol, go for it. She is 30, i am 34, i cant imagine any NORMAL guy between 25-34 who is not a single father wanting anything to do with a S mom with 2 little kids.

Thats just the way guys work, why buy used, when you can get new!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,355 Posts
conrad

To me, even is there was a posOM, then it would not matter to me.

If she wants this NEW life and OM that will probably/statistically not work out, go for it. He would have to show face eventually, he cant stay in the dark forever.

Plus, if he wants to help her raise to little boys, lol, go for it. She is 30, i am 34, i cant imagine any NORMAL guy between 25-34 who is not a single father wanting anything to do with a S mom with 2 little kids.

Thats just the way guys work, why buy used, when you can get new!
Is she hot?



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Guy,

That is how i feel, here i am sucking it up doing what is right for my kids, while STBXW is out partying it up with her new found freedom.

That is the whole point of my posUltimatum, try to snap her out of it. She is living a fake $20k/yr millionaire lifestyle that she cant afford.

I can GURANTEE she will hit rock bottom, and when she does it will hurt, for her. She is on pace for a bankruptcy, failed business, IRS audit, and starting over again.

Me, I am doing great, getting prepared to buy a new house once the D is final so my kids have some stability.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Is she hot?
She is hot, but having 2 kids last 3 yrs shows on her body. She is very insecure about her stomach and stretch marks. She would not even let me touch her stomach, she wants to get a tummy tuck at some point, but dont know how she would ever pay for it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,788 Posts
.

Thats just the way guys work, why buy used, when you can get new!
Moms are an easy score especially 30 yr old moms. The new ones take work and are more picky. Milfs are looking for attention and the price for this atention is sex. Any guy and I mean any guy can come along tell your STBXW how young and attractive she is and that guy has solidified the deal. will he last....no.

Your STBXW will most likely go thru a few guys before she figures it out, but by then you will have found someone that has a moral compase.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,788 Posts
I don't think you can implement the kind of consequences your STBXW needs to change her. So IMHO that is the best thing for her to face (BK, aduit, failure)...the kind of consequences one must face to change bad behaviors.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,355 Posts
She is hot, but having 2 kids last 3 yrs shows on her body. She is very insecure about her stomach and stretch marks. She would not even let me touch her stomach, she wants to get a tummy tuck at some point, but dont know how she would ever pay for it.
If you haven't noticed, there are plenty of codependent rescuers available to attractive abusive women - regardless of kids.

They'll hear the needy victim story, and in the tank they go.



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Guy, i agree, but disagree, yes she likes the attention from the opposite sex, but will she just jump in the sack with some dude, doubt it. She has to many insercurities and will not get on birht control and is deathly afraid to get prego.

But that does no mean she can still have a PA and EA. I know that.

I know it would not last, and to me that is the deal breaker. I have no problem, i mean NO PROBLEM, leaving her in the dust if that is what she chooses. She nows that.

I think she is really enjoying her new found single life and the attention of being a FAKE young business owner, that has 2 kids, and is attractive.

Trust me, she is on track to FAIL.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,355 Posts
Guy, i agree, but disagree, yes she likes the attention from the opposite sex, but will she just jump in the sack with some dude, doubt it. She has to many insercurities and will not get on birht control and is deathly afraid to get prego.

But that does no mean she can still have a PA and EA. I know that.

I know it would not last, and to me that is the deal breaker. I have no problem, i mean NO PROBLEM, leaving her in the dust if that is what she chooses. She nows that.

I think she is really enjoying her new found single life and the attention of being a FAKE young business owner, that has 2 kids, and is attractive.

Trust me, she is on track to FAIL.
Focus on you

And, I basically guarantee there is a posOM if you wish to identify him.



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
If you haven't noticed, there are plenty of codependent rescuers available to attractive abusive women - regardless of kids.

They'll hear the needy victim story, and in the tank they go.
This is true, i am sure that she plays the victim card to everyone well.

According to her I was basically a POS. But even if part of it is true, where am I know :)

Cant play the same tune now, or in 1 year, if the 180 is permanent.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
641 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Conrad, if I ever find out that there is posOM, I will def. expose! Or if i cant, in 3 mnths when the D is final and suprise, there is a new man, family, friends, and others will see right through that BS.

But I would rather expose if i had a choice. ;)

I will keep trying to find posOM, but there may not be one.

Trust me, to me, it makes sense that ther is a posOM, but she left me before in our 1st year of M when she got back from iraq. I thought for sure there was a posOM. But come to find out she just had some head issues.

The more i think about it, she has daddy issues, mommy issues, and realtionship issues.

Her MO is, to jump ship, run, and start over. H$ll when I met her she was engaged and in the processes of calling it off for the 2nd time.

I should have known then i was NOT special and it would be no different. Kids or no kids she doesnt care.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,355 Posts
Conrad, if I ever find out that there is posOM, I will def. expose! Or if i cant, in 3 mnths when the D is final and suprise, there is a new man, family, friends, and others will see right through that BS.

But I would rather expose if i had a choice. ;)

I will keep trying to find posOM, but there may not be one.

Trust me, to me, it makes sense that ther is a posOM, but she left me before in our 1st year of M when she got back from iraq. I thought for sure there was a posOM. But come to find out she just had some head issues.

The more i think about it, she has daddy issues, mommy issues, and realtionship issues.

Her MO is, to jump ship, run, and start over. H$ll when I met her she was engaged and in the processes of calling it off for the 2nd time.

I should have known then i was NOT special and it would be no different. Kids or no kids she doesnt care
.
As much as we WANT to believe "this is the one" and "we are special"... "there's no way she'll do that to me"...

This is the stuff of delusion.

She was showing you who she was.

You didn't believe her.

Now, you do.



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 
1 - 20 of 769 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top