Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello--
I woke this morning with a strange feeling inside of me, and as I showered I started to think even deeper into what going on inside of me. I have a bf of over 2 years. And lately I've been feeling a little insecure about our relationship.. We've had our ups and downs as in most relationship, and lately I've noticed that we've both been trying our best to make things better.

The issue--My current boyfriend has a preference of Hispanic women, particularly puerto rican woman, he says he likes their looks, ie color of skin, long hair etc. I however am black/hispanic, attractive, and slender... I am however, brown skin and dont resemble his ideal loook what so ever.. I often see him staring at these types in the street, and would sometimes see him reference them in messages to friends. He's never been with a puerto rican woman before in a relationship or dating.. He's white by the way. I saw some things written to a friend about going to clubs that at 80% hispanic. He is young and immature, so I'm not sure if this plays a role. My question is should I continue this relationship feeling like a second best or am I over thinking this? Please help me with some clarity. I'm worried that we'll continue on with him just going through the motions and will eventually find someone more his type that likes him. I don't know if I should keep it going or try to cool my feelings down. Thanks.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,582 Posts
He's going to look until the day he dies so you probably have to get used to it.

I'd be more worried about an "immature" boyfriend and what this means in general.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
He is young and immature, so I'm not sure if this plays a role. My question is should I continue this relationship feeling like a second best or am I over thinking this? Please help me with some clarity. I'm worried that we'll continue on with him just going through the motions and will eventually find someone more his type that likes him. I don't know if I should keep it going or try to cool my feelings down. Thanks


YOu are not sure if his age and lack of maturity play a role? I would assume you are equally as young. His immaturity plays a huge role in his behavior. 1st: He does not know what he wants. Case in point - he wants to date a hispanic woman who is puerto rican , tan, long haired, and spicey - but you were there so he went with that as a second option. He is telling YOU WHAT HE WANTS. And the fact that he is with you but telling you he wants something else - is a pretty good sign, he wants something else but you are a "in the meantime" girl. I would move on. Find someone who is looking for a girl like you, knows what he wants, and wants a relationship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I've posted this twice for more responses.. This is my response to who he is:

I think immature in the sense that he still likes to go out and party, he likes to talk about other women to his friends, especially if they are latin/puerto rican.. I'm not sure why he's even with me if I'm not his ideal physical type.. We ever we go through issues, he'll write to friends saying that he's going on a mission for puerto rican girls.. It's so gross.. Once when I was trying to break up with him he writes to me in a text.. I'm going to find a "hot puerto rican, who isn't crazy".. But then when we're fine he wants to be all over me texting me all day and night and wanting to spend every weekend together, and coming to my apartment on weeknights. He's always saying how special I am and that I'm was one of his best friends..etc. but I can't help but wonder if he had the opportunity one day what would he do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
561 Posts
I'm blonde and blue. My bf's ex of 8 years (they have one child together) is Latin. She is absolutely gorgeous. Tall, slender, beautiful skin color, long flowing hair, dark eyes. But he is with me and there is no doubt he is very attracted to me. But does it raise insecurities within me? Sure. But then I have to remind myself that if that is his preference he would never have asked me out. And I wouldn't make him as excited as I do when we are together. Truth be told, this guy is not my "type" either but I am attracted to him for so many other wonderful reasons. Just like your man finds you attractive for many other reasons other than your looks.

But with that said, I agree with the above poster. I'd be concerned about his immaturity and him wanting to go to clubs that cater to Latin-Americans. And the fact that he has never dated one or been with one will always make me think if that is a burning desire and will he resent me being around because I am stopping him from experiencing that? Only HE can answer that question and you just need to bite the bullet and ask. You may not get the answer you want but at least you'll have an answer and you can make a justified decision as to how you want to proceed. Don't end a relationship based on just an assumption.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
IrishgirlVA-- I see what you're saying.. I am more concerned that there is a "burning desire" for him to pursue somewhere down the road.. It's just a matter of him being honest with himself. I'm not sure what to do.. It has been bothering me and I don't want to cause problems between the two of us. He keeps asking me what wrong. I guess I've been displaying this emotions in my attitude around him in the last couple of days.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
450 Posts
I assume with your statement 'your apartment' you two are not living together.....

That being said, I would say to him: Since you have so clearly stated multiple times I'm not what you want, and I'm not willing to sit around and settle for being second best, I'm taking a very much needed haitus (SP?) from our relationship to find the man of my dreams. I wish you all the best in your endeavors in finding who you're looking for. Then stop any/all contact with him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
295 Posts
I think that your bf is being very immature and through his actions is saying that you are "Miss Right Now" for him. I'm willing to bet that as soon as he gets an 'in' with someone who is the type that he supposedly likes so much, that he will be gone in a blink of an eye.

His immaturity is definitely playing a big role here and you would be wise to sit him down, tell him what's bothering you and let him know that you won't stand for being second best. He needs to make a decision to either continue your relationship or let you find someone who will really want to be with you.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top