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Sorry It's going to be a long one. My husband and I have been married for nearly a full year. We are in our twenties and we have two children together. But it seems like we disagree on EVERYTHING. We grew up in very different lives. He is an only child and his parents are loaded. I have seven brothers and sisters and I grew up dirt poor. He is a hard core republican and I don't really care, but I lean on the liberal side. We just disagree on every little thing important or not so much.
I got pregnant with our oldest when I was still in high school. I got my diploma, but I never went to college. I feel like it is time for me to. I feel like if I don't do it now I never will. He wants me to wait until both of our kids are in school, but that is close to 4 years from now and by that time I could be finishing up school. He thinks it's selfish of me to go and to put my children in daycare and making their lives harder financial and emotionally. I just feel in heart that I need to do this for not only myself, but for my children. I want to give them a better life and I want to be able to buy them nice things and to own my own house. He doesn't get in.
We have done nothing, but fight about it. I feel like he should be behind me 100% saying yeah honey we will find a way for this to work for the better of our family. But now he is pretty much saying he is going to leave me if I go back to school. I just don't know what to do about any of this....
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Don't they have daycare at a lot of schools these days?
 

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My boyfriend went to college to get his associates degree, we have a daughter and i told him that we wheren't in the right financial position to be starting on debt. I didnt stop him but i voiced my concerns. He went into it anyway. Now after 2 years we owe 20k in debt to the school. he just picked up a random blow joe job he could have gotten without a degree.

Honestly in the state our country is in and being low income if you guys are? i would NOT recommend it, try getting involved in other ways to get into the career your looking for. start out as an apprentice or intern. Just keep putting yourself out there and eventually someone will find you.

I told my boyfriend he had to get a job to pay off his debt that i would not touch it.

You can try sacrificing a lot of your time and paying it off as you go working and schooling. i feel kids do need at least one parent around, there are also alot of weirdos out int he world who could harm your children so its also giving them a higher perent of that and losing the best time with them, when they will still hug and cuddle with you.

Good luck on your decision. My boyfriend did online schooling btw, which he got to stay home with our daughter all day doing.
 

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If you can make it work financially, then why NOT go back to school? All it will do is make you a better person for it, possibly higher earnings, and make you a happier person (therefore making everyone else happier as well)....I don't see a downside?
:iagree:

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And why exactly did the two of you get married if you can't agree on anything, including the importance of having a stay at home parent?

Some people will sacrifice virtually everything to have one parent stay at home. They don't like the cost of daycare, they don't like the effects of daycare, whatever... There's nothing wrong with that.

Other people don't have a problem with daycare, and see the added/potential income as important. There's nothing wrong with that, either.

The problem is when two people marry and they don't agree on this, on the religion their children will be raised under, on whether they should have kids, etc. And if the two people don't have appropriate tools for conflict resolution...

What about going to school part time, or through some form of distance learning? Is there a creative way to start your career? And not all careers require 4 years of education... And not all education programs have good job prospects these days..

Failing all that, what about some form of relationship counseling?

Basically, my point is that neither of you is right or wrong.

C
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Sometimes you make one decisoin in life, and it prevents you from doing other things down the line.

A perfect example is you chose to have a baby out of wedlock. Then you chose to marry a certain man. Then you chose to have another baby.

These are things you chose. I"m sure most around you recommeneded not having babies in high school, and if your birth control failed then to give up your baby for adoption.

You made choices and those choices are preventing you now from the freedom you seek...

The number one best thing for you children is to grow up in a stable family. You and your husband should work on creating that. This means both of you get to do things and both of you give up some things you could do if unmarried / childless.
 

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Have you thought about taking online classes? This would not take you away from the children that much and it is something you can do at night when they are asleep. You might have to start out part time but that is better than nothing. And it's a good compromise. I agree that getting into debt is not a good thing but I agree that he should be supportive of a decision you feel so strongly about. Is he also afraid of how he might have to help pick up the slack around the house? Is this really about the kids for him or is it about him too?
 

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Who will be paying for your school & daycare for 2 children?

Does he make really good money to afford a wife in school, daycare for 2 children & all of the household bills?
 
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