Talk About Marriage banner

21 - 40 of 44 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
630 Posts
My wife HATES porn. There's a history. When I went so long without sex in my previous marriage, I admit that I turned to porn. My wife's ex was a porn addict and there were certain things that he wanted her to do that were straight out of websites. Both of us are well aware of all the permutations of acts that are depicted in porn, and sadly the ease of access today is warping young people about their expectations of sex and sexuality.

My wife and I have talked a lot about this because we've both been affected by porn. We know what we like and don't like, and have built our sex life out of feelings and desires that satisfy both of us. In a perverse but maybe productive way, porn made that possible. Porn is so prevalent now that there is no way a couple can't avoid the topic.

Yes, there are a lot of things we enjoy that we saw in porn, but so many more that we don't. For example, I can't stand watching a man slap a woman's face in porn, it enrages me. I mean, WTF? Or seeing a petite woman take a huge D and bleeding while all the time she's moaning like she's enjoying it? Or having a D shoved down her throat until she vomits? Maybe she consented to that in a video, but it bothers me to no end. What is this is doing to our young people and their views on sexuality?

When I was a frustrated husband who went without sex for ten years, yes I was a vanilla porn guy. But there is so much crap that is off the charts. There was a time when the women who did porn were professionals who understood the industry, had control over their careers and made informed decisions about being in the industry. Not so today. The aftermath for these young women will shape their entire lives, most of whom will not see lasting compensation for their labor.

I have completely flipped on my view of the industry and what is doing to the social fabric of our young people because of the porn social media age. Especially how it affects young women and their futures. Porn no longer means getting a glimpse of an 8mm film strip someone passed around on the bus going to school. Today it is the 14-year-old with the Pornhub app on his/her phone because his/her parents are either clueless or don't care.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,665 Posts
Do most men expect loud moaning? If so, is it because they’ve been conditioned to expect it from porn?
I’ve never connected the two but I have been asked, in what I always considered a teasing way, why so quiet when I orgasm. I’m concentrating!;)
I did learn to let out a soft moan or a loud sigh just to be polite.
I've had sex with plenty of women and brought almost all of them to orgasm. Of which loud moaning has never been a thing, unless they add it for effect (which is so fake). That said all women's anuses pucker and vibrate with significant pulses when they go through orgasm.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,867 Posts
"CAN WE TURN OUT ALL THE LIGHTS"

I'm pretty sure that idea will not come from watching a porn because there would be nothing to see. Let me check... just a minute... oh my.... well....

Turns out I am wrong as there is a great deal of porn filmed using night vision. Sorry...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
Not a huge porn watcher, but practically nothing I have ever viewed has been anything I hadn't thought of or done long before the internet even existed and before I even watched any porn in my life....To be fair, though, I am not one of those people that can't seem to get off unless I have gone completely outside of the "norm" and resorted to stuff that most people would find bizarre, like a lot of the weird pain stuff and bodily fluids,.excrement, etc...Nope...not my bag...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,665 Posts
In my generation and my parents, all there was was mags with photos of semi naked or topless women. Now what is available for those who want it is vast.
You're mistaken since your generation had access if they wanted, to a vast amount of extremely hardcore material both in film form and printed matter. Much of it being published in European countries like Denmark, Holland, Italy, Germany France and Sweden amongst others, with distribution being enormous.

Likewise there is nothing in pornography today that wasn't already shown in enormous printed quantity through pamphlets, books magazines postcards and motion picture film from the dawn of photography through to the Second World War. Some of which still survives and can easily be found on the internet and in published books on the subject.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,092 Posts
I have to giggle at a funny memory...an uncle of mine used to hide his porn mags under his church reading roster at home bahahahaha. My cousins found it when they were looking for something and we were all like wtf?

Another time we were on our way to our grandmas. Uncle, aunt and cousins had picked up my brothers and I. We had to brake suddenly and a porn mag slid out from under the front seat. Aunty picked it up and GLARED at Uncle and he actually said "How did that get there?" 😂🤣😂🤣
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
668 Posts
In my generation and my parents, all there was was mags with photos of semi naked or topless women.
If you loved in Europe, that would be the adverts in magazines and on billboards.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,311 Posts
Discussion Starter #32
In my generation and my parents, all there was was mags with photos of semi naked or topless women. Now what is available for those who want it is vast. Yes of course people are influnced by what they allow themselves to see, and its not easy to go against the flow of what the majority think is ok and 'harmless', but its well worth it.
Numerous studies have been done to show the incredible damage porn does, especially to young impressionable minds, and the destruction it brings in peoples lives and marriages.
Not stating pro, con, but you're mistaken. There were plenty of nude magazine material long before, and not hard to find.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
502 Posts
I'm in my 40's and I remember my cousins and I finding my uncle's VHS and Betamax porn tapes. He was still living at grandma's house (yuck!) We grabbed one and watched at my grandma's apartment in the back of her property. It was bizarre because I was 10 at the time I believe? I'm sure my older cousins enjoyed the tape!

I don't like video porn. I like erotic photography and I like to read real sex stories. Is that considered porn too? Sex blogs are fun, I don't read the ones I don't feel are pleasurable, though.

I don't read them that often but I do think they give me a boost when I start getting bored. They have given me ideas too.

Women like to read those cheesy romance novels. I read them too. Those are full of x- rated scenes.

Men like their porn but there are other ways women enjoy sex and fantasy.

I'm not a HD woman, but I like to explore new things in the bedroom.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,311 Posts
Discussion Starter #34
I'm in my 40's and I remember my cousins and I finding my uncle's VHS and Betamax porn tapes. He was still living at grandma's house (yuck!) We grabbed one and watched at my grandma's apartment in the back of her property. It was bizarre because I was 10 at the time I believe? I'm sure my older cousins enjoyed the tape!

I don't like video porn. I like erotic photography and I like to read real sex stories. Is that considered porn too? Sex blogs are fun, I don't read the ones I don't feel are pleasurable, though.

I don't read them that often but I do think they give me a boost when I start getting bored. They have given me ideas too.

Women like to read those cheesy romance novels. I read them too. Those are full of x- rated scenes.

Men like their porn but there are other ways women enjoy sex and fantasy.

I'm not a HD woman, but I like to explore new things in the bedroom.
You've said all the right things imho that would make you an attractive mate and partner!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
553 Posts
an uncle of mine used to hide his porn mags under his church reading roster at home

We had to brake suddenly and a porn mag slid out from under the front seat.
I remember my cousins and I finding my uncle's VHS and Betamax porn tapes.
Back in the day, the struggle was real..lol.

Young adults today have it so easy.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
377 Posts
If you loved in Europe, that would be the adverts in magazines and on billboards.
Quoted for the Freudian slip, lol.

I've rarely sought out or viewed porn that included activities I wasn't interested in doing myself already. I do think it has made things like anal and cumshots seem more "normal". I think some guys get an inaccurate ideas of technique and perception of what women do enjoy (or how commonly some things are enjoyed).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
668 Posts
Quoted for the Freudian slip, lol.
Not quite sure I would classify it as Freudian, but humorous nonetheless.

I've rarely sought out or viewed porn that included activities I wasn't interested in doing myself already. I do think it has made things like anal and cumshots seem more "normal". I think some guys get an inaccurate ideas of technique and perception of what women do enjoy (or how commonly some things are enjoyed).
I would say that misperception applies to women as well. Being in the BDSM lifestyle and having been a munch group leader, and found it amazing the frequency with which I saw various plays, and the infrequency of others as well. Also amazing is the high overlap of the BDSM and Fandom geek communities. But I have seen sub women who end up so confused when they encounter Doms who are not ordering them to kneel and such. It's one of the reasons I started our education series and developed my 101 class.

Sent from my cp3705A using Tapatalk
 
21 - 40 of 44 Posts
Top