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This question stems from a conversation that I recently had with my wife of 12 years. We were talking about men and how we look at other women. I explained to her that basically every single man out there "checks out" pretty much every remotely attractive woman that he comes across. It is just the way that we are. She disagreed with me. I think that she and many other women are naive in this regard.

I'm not saying that we as men want to necessarily sleep with every woman we come across by any stretch. I'm not a cheater and never will be. I'm Just saying that it is in our nature to size up, measure physical attractiveness, and to a certain degree ogle most women we come across. I guess you could characterize it as ogling without the pretense of actually acting upon the urge to approach etc.

Are most women aware of this male characteristic?
 

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Doubtful.

Personally, I wouldn't label it as 'checking out' other women, as that seems to imply that there is a sexual characteristic to it IMO. I think it's similar to look over a fine piece of art. There's no sexual attraction, but you still feel the need to rest your gaze on a beautiful body for a moment, even if just to admire God's handy work.
 
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I'm with kingsfan. check out is probably too strong a term for what I do. But I certainly "notice" good looking women. And a short skirt will sometimes raise my temperature. But to be honest, most times that happens I'm actually thinking "I wish my wife would wear a skirt like that" and not "I'd like to have that woman".
 

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This question stems from a conversation that I recently had with my wife of 12 years. We were talking about men and how we look at other women. I explained to her that basically every single man out there "checks out" pretty much every remotely attractive woman that he comes across. It is just the way that we are. She disagreed with me. I think that she and many other women are naive in this regard.

I'm not saying that we as men want to necessarily sleep with every woman we come across by any stretch. I'm not a cheater and never will be. I'm Just saying that it is in our nature to size up, measure physical attractiveness, and to a certain degree ogle most women we come across. I guess you could characterize it as ogling without the pretense of actually acting upon the urge to approach etc.

Are most women aware of this male characteristic?
Painfully so...are most men aware that this characteristic bothers most women? Particularly when it appears to be uncontrollable?
 

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Yep. I don't know how many times I've seen a woman wear these 'hooker boots' (high heel boots that go up to the knee) that my SO used to wear when we first met and I think to myself 'Man, I wish she'd wear those again. I miss those.'
 

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Doubtful.

Personally, I wouldn't label it as 'checking out' other women, as that seems to imply that there is a sexual characteristic to it IMO. I think it's similar to look over a fine piece of art. There's no sexual attraction, but you still feel the need to rest your gaze on a beautiful body for a moment, even if just to admire God's handy work.
That's exactly what I meant to say. You just phrased it much better than I did. Like I said this comes from a recent conversation with my wife. She is an upper level manager of a successful large company and manages upwards of 50 employees directly...95% of which are men. And many of them are younger than she is and are unmarried guys in the 25-35 age group. She is a tall attractive woman who is, shall I say "well endowed". I told her that I guarantee her that most of her subordinates at the very least have looked her over, checked her out, or even conversed about her breasts in a semi sexual manner. I was surprised that she didn't think that this occurs.
 

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So I assume she's in her roughly mid-30's (or older) and is just now realizing men look at, talk about and dedicate at times unhealthy amounts of time to oogling of breasts? Has she been living under a rock?

If so, tell her I have some beautiful oceanfront property in Nebraska to sell her.
 

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My wife and I went out to lunch yesterday to a little sub shop in town. Our waitress was probably 50 lbs overweight. But all the weight was in her boobs and her butt. She had on this hot dress and the way she walked it was like she was saying she knew she was hot and flaunting it. Like I said, she was a bit heavy, but the dress and the confidence was really out there and I stared a little when she was walking away. My wife's like "um, you can close your mouth now". lol
 

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the well manered man can do this without causing a scene. This should NOT be something your wife sees. No, no, no. If you get bagged - you were doing it wrong.



guys look when you are not looking. Its stupid.

If you are thinking 'was he checking her out when I wasnt looking'. Yep.. he was.
 

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Was at a supermarket recently with the wife. At one of the other check out desks was this young woman, absolutely gorgeous figure, dressed in a red and white striped mini dress, with matching red and white striped socks. Sounds a bit like a fashion faux pas I know but she carried it off superbly.
Now I love my wife always have done and always will and have never even wanted to be unfaithful to her.
But suddenly out the blue a vision of this young woman with her legs wrapped around me and those socks drumming on my back just popped into my head.
To be honest I did sort of feel I had let down my wife but it literally popped into my head unbidden.
 
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I explained to her that basically every single man out there "checks out" pretty much every remotely attractive woman that he comes across.
Yikes... That's a minefield mate... Soon you'll be saying all men in relationships do it too (only in a much more discrete and trained manner) and you're in it deep :D

BTW, let me preemptive strike this and say, before some lady comes and swears by all that is sacred that her husband doesn't do this because he told her so, don't worry, if he respects you enough to disguise it and lie about it you really have nothing to worry about. Remember, you check guys too and don't you lie about it.
 

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I am very aware -since I have read so much about Testosterone's effects on the brain, talked deeply with my husband who never has to shield the truth from me....that would only pi$$ me off... and well... even I am similar to a man... I notice the opposite sex too...

Because my husband has never been disrespectful to me in these things, not for a day -other than looking at some porn when I was a little too conservative minded & caused him some grief over it taping scriptures to his computer screen when I found this (funny looking back :rofl:)....

I just am no longer bothered, we are in a better place -since we have opened up sexually with each other ...on all levels.

I feel it just shows we are not dead and we're in touch with our sexuality...we all have a little fantasy dancing in the brain in a moment.... I'd never want any of those men, and he would never want any of those women....it is fleeting, nano seconds..

So many threads on this subject on TAM - this being the longest I believe...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/24519-way-men-really-think.html

Page 12.... I felt Unbelievable explained it best....another man's view >>>
I have already said that fixating on a woman (ie, imaging an actual sex act with her or fantasizing about her stripping) is a bit creepy and, of course, that is a choice. My point is that there is an immediate "yes", "no", "Maybe if I was drunk" sort of selection going on for the briefest of nanoseconds in every male brain (at least the straight ones).

Having been male for nearly 50 years, I have been "listening" to "yep", "nope", "no way in hell", etc every day for at least 40 years. Of the thousands of guys I have worked and lived closely with, they all seem to have the same thing going on. Naturally, only a creton would attempt to act on those thoughts and one would be sort of a perv to dwell on the subject and create disgusting mental scenarios.

I'm a Christian and I'm married. Neither experience rendered me blind or oblivious to my surroundings. The OP asked how men thought and I've given the most honest answer I can.
 

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I was walking through the Louvre one day and it suddenly occurred to me that religious iconography aside, almost all western art 1500-1900 consists of

Food
War
Naked Women

Draw your own conclusions from that.
 

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As a guy I sure like to think that women are doing the same thing. I know that when I am walking around somewhere in public I am wondering which women might check me out. Of course I know it depends on what I am wearing and how I am carrying myself, but some days I know I look good and think they have to notice. I also love looking for other guys facial expressions when a hot woman walks by. A quick eye brow raise is a simple symbol to one another that you weren't the only one to notice that.
 

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Was golfing yesterday. Myself (almost 50) and a couple of guys in their 60's. Everyone of us has been married over 20 years.

There is a 'snack booth' where you can buy beer, hotdogs, etc. One of the guys bought a beer and mentioned we should all get something. So we took turns going up to the shack to see the 20 something blonde with the low cut black sweater on. Plenty of cleavage. Very attractive girl.

All round we are making comments about this girl. The bar cart girl was not near as 'exposed'. We stopped at the shack at the beginning, after nine holes and again at the end. It was always busy. I am guessing the bar cart girl didn't do a bunch of business.

I really didn't need that chocolate bar at the end of the round. But it was worth the $2.

Who is worse, all the guys paying her attention or her for wearing the low cut blouse?
 

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When I am in a commited relationship. It is something I rarely do if at all. Now that I am going through a divorce. I do not feel morally obligated anymore. Lots of men though are not capable of this. You are right though. If your wife looks as you say then it most certainly is.
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Believe me...if she's tall, attractive and well endowed...the guys at her workplace have noticed.

Some, by no means all, have probably had inappropriate discussions amongst themselves and some may even have masturbated to her image.

I think all men notice attractive women who cross their line of vision. Of course a gentleman is going to make a point of not being obvious, particularly in the presence of his spouse.
 

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Was golfing yesterday. Myself (almost 50) and a couple of guys in their 60's. Everyone of us has been married over 20 years.

There is a 'snack booth' where you can buy beer, hotdogs, etc. One of the guys bought a beer and mentioned we should all get something. So we took turns going up to the shack to see the 20 something blonde with the low cut black sweater on. Plenty of cleavage. Very attractive girl.

All round we are making comments about this girl. The bar cart girl was not near as 'exposed'. We stopped at the shack at the beginning, after nine holes and again at the end. It was always busy. I am guessing the bar cart girl didn't do a bunch of business.

I really didn't need that chocolate bar at the end of the round. But it was worth the $2.

Who is worse, all the guys paying her attention or her for wearing the low cut blouse?
My sister used to work the beer cart at a high end golf course. She was smart enough to realize the more cleavage the higher the tips.
 
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