[sokillme]

By this I am not asking what makes it successful or anything like that. What I want to know is what makes it an actual marriage?

Is it being registered with the government? And yes, to receive the legal benefits you do have to be registered. But do those legal benefits make the relationship a marriage? Can you have a marriage without that piece of paper (virtual as it might be nowadays).

Is it only a marriage if one had a ceremony done by a cleric of one's chosen deity? Or does only your own deity count, and theirs doesn't? Can atheist be married outside of government recognition?

What are the criteria that makes any given relationship the status of marriage?

Or are there various types of marriages that each have their own criteria?

The vows you give to each other and God in my mind.

 

[sokillme]

So then those who only marry before the state and not your God are not actually married?

You asked what my opinion is. I believe God exists whether you believe or not, just like atheist believe God doesn't exist whether I believe or not.

My point was the vows, State, Church, back yard BBQ. At it's core marriage is about vows. Vows that I think God is listening too, but even if I am wrong. You know you said them.

 

[sokillme]

I did ask your opinion and you initially gave me something that left other questions. You have now expended on that. Thank you.

So to further expand, is it your position that some sort of vows need to be exchanged before it's a marriage? Or can the marriage be a state of being, vows of action to turn a phrase? I am further guessing that you would say that even if the couple said their vows to Thor (which is a deity some pagans still worship to this day), given your belief in your God, He hears it and it is still a valid marriage?

Again, I am not criticizing your opinion, but exploring it.

I was not being defensive, it's just my style.

Anyway exactly. It's the promise, it's not the God part. Though I think there is a God part. If you don't make the promise, you're just living together.

 

[sokillme]

Being a written forum with no visual or audio cues, one can never be certain. So I try to play it safe.



I have one more question after this, but I want the answer to this one first. Do you just accept the word of those claiming that they are married, or do you make your own judgement as to whether they actually are or not?

Generally speaking I accept peoples word about most things until there behavior causes me to question their sincerity. It's too hard to live otherwise.

 

[sokillme]

To follow this up, and understanding that you have your own personal religious/spiritual beliefs, do you accept marriages outside those beliefs as valid? For example, and not automatically assuming these are against your beliefs, same sex marriages or poly marriages. For the sake of the question assume no coercion or abuse.

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I mean that depends. As far as this marriage thing, if someone believes they are married then I accept that they are married. Not sure if it matters what I think anyway. I guess if I was trying to date the person? But generally speaking if your asking if they get married by the satanic church do I accept they are married? Like I said if they make the promise then in my mind they are married. My point about God is, I believe when you make the promise of marriage it's in front of God even if you don't believe in him or think he is a puppy. I think God is God and no one really has the ability to understand that he just is, in my mind. The point is there is more weight to that promise, it's not about not eating a cookie or something.

Poly marriage in my mind is a different thing then monogamous marriage (whatever the gender that is ). There is a lot more logistics in the promise, but I would say when you make a commitment to someone, keep your word. I certainly think there can be cheating or vows broken. I mean even in the bible there are poly marriages and it's pretty clear that there is still adultery. So there should be no reason for my belief system to not still see it that way.

Can you marry your dog or a cucumber. No.

So my turn, why are you asking the questions? Are you doing a paper or something?

 

[sokillme]

No, and I can think of some other things I would rather do research on if I could have the funding to back me. Mostly curiosity, and a desire to know not only what people believe but why. These kind of topics fascinate me.

So what do you believe?