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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I once posted this question about women, in response to people in my daily life saying that I am "less female" because I don't have kids.

I wonder what the people of TAM think a real man is. It is an interesting topic because we all have different ideas.

I'll start:

A real man is responsible and caring. He is not selfish but he does not allow people to take advantage of him either.

A real man does not sit at home doing nothing and expect his wife to support him. SAHD's who handle the housework and childrearing are real men, but not the ones who stay at home all day and watch TV. It takes a lot of cojones to take on a traditionally female role.

A real man does not need a woman to bow down to him and allow herself to be controlled. He is secure in his manhood and not threatened by independence or women who are not needy. Before I met my husband, I dated fools who were insecure, so they tried to control me like I was their kid.

A real man does not allow a woman to take and never give anything in return. He does not put up with a wife who does not have sex, do housework or have a job, while he gives everything. He is too smart and strong for that nonsense. Just as he gives to a marriage, a real man knows that give and take is essential.

A real man provides for himself and his family. Trust fund babies who beg Mommy and Daddy for money are not real men; they are infants stuck in men's bodies. I respect men who are self made.

A real man does not think he is above childrearing or chores. He does not expect his wife to be a servant and he will help if needed. I am so happy that my husband will do dishes because I hate it and grocery shop so that I can make good meals for us.

What makes a real man in your eyes?
 

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I go by what my dad told me when I turned 16.
If you screw up ....own it
A man works.
A man who doesn't take care of his children is no man.
A man lives for his family.
 

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I checked the internet.

It said "Slugs and Snails and Puppy dog Tails"
 

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Well, balancing between what my dad told me, and what I believe to be true:

A real man feels comfortable and confident in his own skin. Do you need 6-pack abs and huge arms to be a man? No! You have to be confident enough in your own skin to be a man. Walk like you own yourself, and you will!

A man knows to not be a push-over. If your friends, your boss, your wife, whoever, starts bossing you around and you just like down and take it, you are already losing your manhood.

And I kinda feel like this one from my dad holds true: Takes a woman to make a boy a man (if you don't get it, don't ask)

A man can take care of himself by himself (if need be). Meaning, he can buy and cook his own food, clean his place of living, and do his laundry.

A man knows when to and not to be emotional, and what emotions are ok. And I am going to say it: Men don't cry. Don't care what you people say, I don't think a man cries. Men can share their emotions and everything, love, pain, anger, hurt, etc. BUt not crying.

But finally:
A man, is a man, when he considers himself to be a man.

Like, by my own list, do I consider myself a man? You bet!
But by my list, do other men on this forum consider themselves a man? I don't know. Probably not.

But that is the thing:
Men have differing views of what it takes to be a man.
I see myself as 100% man in my mind.

So every young kid growing up, should make his own mental check list, of what it takes to be a man. And start hitting that check list as it presents itself.
Because you should be the one measuring yourself.
No one else has the right to try and measure how much of a man you are.

And if you feel like a man in your life, no one has the right to say "No, you are not a man. You have to do x,y,z..."
No!

If you feel like a man, you ARE a man.

And I am not going to lie, I love this song, thought it fit (and note, does have some...language that you may not want your mrs. to hear...)
orgazmo - now you are a man - YouTube
 

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Marriage should always be a joint effort. From an historical perspective, the male was to be the provider, the female was deemed to be the nurturer. But with the advent of the 20th century, with more and more families having to have 2 or more incomes in order to properly function, that has all given way to change.

So now the wife has to take one of those jobs and, as a result, has had to sacrifice part of her nurturer role. With more women in the workplace, a lot of men were found to be expendible because businesses could now hire women for far less money. Now, the man gets sent home to be placed in the nurturer role while his loving wife is now relegated to the provider role.

In this economy, it's fortunate that anyone can retain employment and those that have it should be so very, very thankful.

As long as a man cares for his family to best of his ability and has the immeasurable love for them embedded in his heart and soul, then he is truly the man that God sent forth.

Being macho, earning mega-dollars, having many sexual conquests, or attaining some lofty position in the business, social, or political world is totally inconsequential.

What truly makes "the man" is what you find within that heart and soul of his, and how he conveys it to his loved ones and also to the world around him!

That, my friend, is "the man" that you're truly searching for!
 

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Real men neither tolerate nor play emotional games.
Real men TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for their actions.
Real men don't take disrespect.
Real men NEVER hit a woman.
Real men are not afraid of hard work
Real men appreciate the finer things in life like honesty , respect , love and family values.
 

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So every young kid growing up, should make his own mental check list, of what it takes to be a man. And start hitting that check list as it presents itself.
Because you should be the one measuring yourself.
No one else has the right to try and measure how much of a man you are.
That's the crux of my Man-list.

A man knows who he is and doesn't allow others to change it or himself.

Everything else stems from that. It means that everyone's definition is different. For example, I have no problem with crying. If I feel lead enough to show that emotion, it doesn't bother me to do it in public, and I wouldn't care what other people thought about it. Does that mean I'm not a man? Maybe to some, but not to me.

I don't have a problem wearing short shorts or wearing a flaming pink shirt, because I'm a man and I know who I am. But another guy could look at the same thing and feel the exact opposite. And that's OK, because the only thing that matters is that I know who I am and I'm not going to let someone else change that. And if you feel strongly about it, don't do it, because then you'd be compromising YOUR manhood.
 

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I once posted this question about women, in response to people in my daily life saying that I am "less female" because I don't have kids.
sorry to be a little OT but when i read this part of your post I immediately remembered something a friend forwarded to me once.
For the record,I admire and respect women who choose not to be breeders;)

100 Reasons To Stay Child-Free -- RamonaCreel.com
 

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Interesting post. My wife and I were repainting the bedroom yesterday and she caught me off guard (in a really great way) when she described me with three words.

You're loyal, passionate and stable. I know my wife loves me, but knowing that's how she sees me meant a lot to me. I live my life to be a certain kind of man

1. Loyal, people in your life need to count on you
2. Hard worker, you need to provide for your family the best you can
3. Be the rock, your family (wife and children) need to be able to count on you no matter what. You are the foundation that lets them soar.
4. Passionate, be a passionate father and husband. Never lose sight of your love for your wife. Focus on the positives and don't hang onto the negatives (without compromising yourself of course)
5. Be a man of integrity. A man needs to demand respect, but respect is only given to the respectful. You can't collect water in a sieve.
6. Be selfless. Your family always comes first. You are a beast of burden. You carry the load, you shoulder the weight. Take this role and know that it's a hard life and your family is worth every effort you make.
7. Be strong in a humble way. Show your strength through actions, not words.

The amazing thing about a strong man and father (I put the two together) is that when people think about the happy times growing up etc., more memories are rooted to their mothers. But when people think about the things that helped them become a good person, it's amazing how much they correlate to their father (assuming he was like the above). I'm not minimizing the mother's role in this as well, it's just important to know that a man greatly impacts his children.
 

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I remember what Vince Lombardi said:

"It's not how many times you get knocked down, it's how many times you get back up."
 

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I wonder about the kind of responses that would have been seen here if someone asked the question "What makes a woman?"
 

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I would have put the same sort of response to that question as I would the man one... But I tend to get technical sometimes with questions like this.
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