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My partner of 8 years is severely allergic to my two cats which are forced to live outside and in the garage. I am a huge animal lover, especially cats and it makes me so sad that I have to sacrifice my kitty cuddling in bed for him. He is also mildly allergic to dogs. It really bugs me. What kind of sacrifices or compromises are normal and necessary in marriage?
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What kind of a set-up do you have in the garage for the cats? Do they have any furniture out there? Maybe you can get a sofa bed and cable and a coffee table, etc. and camp out with the cats some time. Lots of people have a sort of den set up in their garage.

Whatever works. You can also get a hepa vac with upholstery attachment to clean the sofa bed, and a good front end washer with a super-hot double-rinse setting to make sure your clothes are clean after hanging out there.

Consider when your cats have moved on to the great beyond, getting the kind of cat that is non-allergenic (I forget the breed.) Assuming the cats are at least 8 years old.
 

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Siberians are the hypoallergenic cats you're thinking of.

My cousin takes allergy shots for his wife, he's highly allergic but likes cats and knew his wife wasn't about to get rid of them for anyone when they first got together.

Maybe down the line consider a hypoallergenic dog. They're much cheaper than Siberians.
 

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Avoiding the issue of the cats for the moment, I'm going to answer your original question. In general, these are some sacrifices that are necessary for marriage:
  • Once your married, it's not all about you (holds true whether your the husband or wife)
  • You no longer come first. Your order of importance in your life is your children (when they come), your husband then you.
  • The same goes for him, children first, you second and him last.
  • Be clear on what your deal breakers are. Meaning he should know up front what you can't live with and you need to understand his deal breakers.

Regarding the cats; if he has a health issue with the cats, I think you are going to have to make the sacrifice and give them away. I hope he is making what ever accommodations he can to live with them, but if his health is at stake, this should be a no-brainer for you and the cats have to go. Also consider this, if he is allergic to your cats, there is a good chance your children are going to be allergic to them too. What are you going to do then?

Finally, if you really have to think twice between marrying your partner and keeping your cats, chances are that either you (1) don't love him the way you think you do or (2) your too self centered at this point in time to consider marriage. Think about that before moving forward.
 

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How old are the pets? How long have you had them?

I have allergies, they are hell. If you have had the pets a long time compromise by confining them to one area of the house. Thus creating a dander free zone for your spouse. Then agree that after these pass on you won't replace them. That to me would seem an acceptable compromise.
 

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Any partner I have in the future will not be allergic to animals and will at least tolerate dogs and cats. I've given up two animals for past partners and the relationships failed anyways, so never again.

There are ways to reduce the allergens in the house, you can google a list of them, and do them often. He can also use medications to make it more tolerable either pill form for milder allergies and shots for more severe.

Good luck.
 

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You know you can't have both (cats in bed) & your partner, so make peace with them living in the garage or whatever arrangements you can make so that he is not sick!

My daughter loves cats (as do I) but her b/f is severly allergic.

She has made peace with it & won't get a cat.
 

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My daughter is allergic to cats. We learned of this from visiting my sister's house a couple years ago. She can take allergy medications which makes it manageable, but she still has symptoms of the allergies. She LOVES cats. She loves dogs. But because of her allergies, we won't own a cat again. She also has allergies to different pollens. Again, she takes medication when she needs it.

When it comes to having pets, or anything really, you need to ask yourself if the pet is more important to you than the person. If the pet is more important, then you need to let the person go.

Yes, there are ways to reduce allergens... but they don't always work. My sister has done things to reduce them in hers because of my daughter. She STILL has the problem and requires the medication to REDUCE her symptoms while there. They never fully go away, no matter how much you try to reduce them. The cause is still there... you will continue to have some flare up as long as the cause of the allergy is in the house...even if you "confine" the pet/allergen.
 

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My partner of 8 years is severely allergic to my two cats which are forced to live outside and in the garage. I am a huge animal lover, especially cats and it makes me so sad that I have to sacrifice my kitty cuddling in bed for him. He is also mildly allergic to dogs. It really bugs me. What kind of sacrifices or compromises are normal and necessary in marriage?
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Seriously?
 
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I am allergic to cats. Shots help, but do not take away the allergy completely. I can visit people with cats without going into a raging allergy attack, but I still cannot live with the critters.

You have to ask yourself, which would I miss more if I was with them, cats or SO?
 

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I'm a bit confused how cuddling with any animal in bed, no matter how cute and loving, could possibly even come close to comparing to cuddling with a human being? I am a major cat lover, and ten times out of ten I would gladly choose my husband over my cat, or my dog. If it meant never having a pet again, I would choose my husband ten times out of ten.

I'm wondering if maybe you're not quite ready for marriage if this is really a big deal...
 
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