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I will try to make my story quick.

My husband has been distant since the birth of our first son 18 years ago. He stays in the basement and drinks. We have two sons which I basically raised. He isn't a mean drunk he just some guy that stays in the basement. I have tried many times telling him to get help but he never has. Years ago guess I accepted it.

My oldest son has been diagnosed with a serious mental illness. It is has been an extremely difficult road. I recently started a new job and couldn't bring him to the doctor so my husband did. The doctor called me and wanted to see me that night. I thought it was very strange since he didn't have evening hours but I went it. I was totally blown away when he said "haven't you noticed your husband is exactly like your son". I always thought his problem was with his drinking, but the doctor is correct my husband is the same. He masks his problems with his drinking.

My husband now is showing phycotic symptoms. He talks about that he should die, and is raising the family stress level way beyond what I can handle.

My youngest son wants us to leave. He said his brother isn't going to keep on trying to stay well when he sees his father going on and on like a crazy person. I honestly want out of this marriage as well. I know my husband isn't going to seek help. But I only have a contract job, I can't risk us leaving and ending up on welfare. And yes I am worried what my husband will do to himself if we are gone. But I am also worried what he is doing to all of us.

I know I need councelling but not sure what type to get. Any advise I would greatly appreciate it.
 

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I dont know how much my advice will be but maybe you should try and convince him to get treatment. It sounds like things may just get worse if you dont do something about it. You could try and get him to do it for the sake of your kids etc tell him its his responsibility to be there for his kids and in a better state than he is. On the other hand it is probably best to get a professional opinion if possible. Especially from someone with experiences in these kind of cases.
 
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