Quality time for us can be difficult.I'm sure this has been discussed before, but, I've read here that couples should spend 15 hours of quality time together. What do you consider to be quality time for you and your SO?
My H and I are going to be separated in less than a month. In the meantime, I've been thinking a lot about our relationship. When he was unemployed, he spent 90% of his time watching TV on his laptop. I married him because he is intelligent, well educated, seemed to have many hobbies, etc among other reasons. It was mostly a long distance relationship, so I didn't really see him in action.
When I asked for a separation 5 months ago and then gave him a chance, he started making an effort by calling me at work and asking me if I want to grab lunch with him. The problem was that we wouldn't even have anything to talk about, so to me, I continued to be frustrated. I think more than anything, it was his laziness+ attitude that frustrated me. Yes he lost his job, which sucks, but why couldn't he find a way to set a schedule for himself and be productive? Why couldn't he cook, clean, go to the gym, paint (one of his former hobbies), read? I know a friend who is unemployed right now and he's become really passionate about cooking.
He's working now, and he's a lot happier but his #1 hobby continues to be watching TV. So generally every evening, he watches TV and I do my own thing. We do spend time cuddling in the morning and at night, and every now and then we'll go out to eat, but not happy with the fact that we are not growing together and learning together...along with many other frustrations which led me to firmly demand a separation.
I realize I went on some tangents, but would love to hear thoughts on this
Mrs Wysh works a regular 9 to 5, she is a pers. asst. to a managing director.
I work on a shift basis where I am one of a team of six covering a year round 5:30 a.m to 21:00 shift system with possibility of extensions till midnight.. We also work a four day on two day off rota system.
This means that the time we do have is precious to us. And sometimes our only quality time is bedtime. And I don't mean just sex either. Some times our only chance for couples chat is in bed either snuggling or spooning.
This weekend was going to be great for us, I had a rare opportunity to spend the whole weekend with my wife. It was all planned out, farmers market Saturday morning, angling Sat afternoon, restaurant Sat evening. Gym Sunday then sauna/jacuzzi, geocaching together Sunday afternoon early bed Sunday.
Best laid plans and all that but Mrs Wysh ahs some kind of tummy upset so can't do it.
Ended up doing the market which was great, bought quite a few things including this chancre (pronounced shanker)
And then ended up at the in laws sorting out their computer and tv yet again (I'm a techy geek).
We knew when I started this job that our time would be limited but we made a promise to each other that we would maximise the time that we do have.
Just going to check up on Mrs Wysh, (she went back to bed).