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Okay, first off, I found this site/forum after a very uninformative google search....

My husband and I are very young (20's) and have been married nearly 5 years and have one child together, one from a previous relationship, and one on the way. Just to get the basics if that is necessary.

Okay.. well, there are a lot of things happening lately that I can't handle or explain, so I'm just gonna get it out there and let someone make a comment, as I don't know how to ask what.

He has had a porn/masturbating addiction since we were dating, he just began hiding/lying about it recently. It's gotten to where I am threatening to cut off the Internet service if he continues, because MY KIDS use this computer! And, we just got a new computer that I don't want messed up with viruses. He has started hiding DVD's and sneaking off into the bedroom when I am too busy with our kids or home or just plain tired, to jerk off to porn.. and he gets MAD when I bust in the room on him, with laundry! How in the hell was I supposed to know! (Plus, I might have felt better if he'd offered me some!!!)

Next, well, not chronologically, as I am actually quickly venting and just thinking of things to get down out of my head... he told me that he had sex with a guy... he told me after we were married. He also told me that he wants to bring another man into our relationship to have sex with HIM and to have sex with me while he watches.

Um, he likes to GET it, anal, bj, handjob, but won't GIVE it unless HE wants it. He won't do oral, or masturbate me even if I beg... and I am clean/shaven.

He complains his back/hands hurt. Or he's just too tired.

He gets angry if I don't want to watch him masturbate or give him anal with a toy.

He told me he likes little boobs, and medium butts, and asian women. I am 5' 11", 5 months pregnant with my 3rd child, 299 lbs, and am very white.

Just for the record, he is 5' 10" and 280 with a very large gut (that's the only real big thing on him).

I have a huge ass, and 42DD boobs. I look nothing like all his porn videos.

I've caught him lying about looking up stuff on youtube, and downloading porn.

He's turned down sex to masturbate.

Um.. what else...

He gave me the OKAY to have sex with someone else..

Oh, I almost forgot, he tells me daily that he is gay. But he says he's joking... I am doubting it.

He also gets angry that I won't have sex with him while he watches porn. I don't because I feel he gets the pleasure while imagining it's with someone else,... I guess I am selfish but it hurts my feelings.

Oh, and he comes in like 4 minutes and won't TRY to go longer..

He won't kiss me or do foreplay like he used to .. he just wants a quickie and then he's done.

WHAT THE HELL???

There's lots more, just too tired to type anymore.


Any comment is welcome, PLEASE!!!
 

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It sounds like your husband is really confused. How difficult it must be for you! I have had a similar dynamic in two past relationships. My advice to you would be that you should believe what he is saying in regards to being gay(or maybe he is bisexual?). He seems to be acting out sexually and basically sounds like he wants to explore his sexuality. It's nice that in a way he wants to explore it WITH you rather than behind your back or on the DL. If you're not interested in that then you should tell him.
 

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i am a guy, and from my perspective any guy would be thrilled to have a girl willing to do all those things for them. if he prefers the videos, let him keep them and find someone who is actually grateful for all you are willing to do. some women get crabby about some of those acts, despite knowing most guys love them. find someone who will jump for joy when he gets anal... i know i would.
 

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i know you're just listing his negatives and not his positives, but there is enough there to justify leaving this guy. what are you hoping for? I think you're hoping for your H to be someone he is not. You want a straight husband who wants sex with you and fantasizes about you. You've got a gay husband (I don't think he's joking) and you can't change that as much as you want to. From what i read here, breaking a porn addiction is difficult, too.

It's sad, but I think you need a man who wants a wife to love.
 

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He definitely has porn addiction to be creating issues with his marriage and still continues, not to mention the lying and secretiveness and frequency. He needs to see someone about it. Also I will say that porn can make you question your sexual orientation and boundaries. After being desensitized to things so much its only natural to think everyone does these things and they are okay. Im referring to the bringing other people into your relationship. It would be hard for me as a wife to know i had to compete with men because well its just something you cant compete with. That would be a dealbreaker for me. Good luck i hope you can get him to see his wrongs
 

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One thing you can take to heart...if a man says he's gay...he's gay.
 

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Z-Z-Zombie thread!

OP, if you are still around and would like this reopened, please PM a mod.
 
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