I am so frustrated with myself. My H had an affair and I actually heared them together on a VAR. The pain is so intense sometimes. We have been physically seperated for over 10 weeks but mentally seperated for a few months before that. He wants to be with me and tries to help me with anything and everything but doesn't do any real work towards R. I don't want to R in my head but my heart isn't listening. I know I need to move on, I want to but jeez. Why is this so hard? Where is my self respect? What's wrong with me? I know I need to move on and yet, he is still here...in my heart. I am going to listen to the VAR again this weekend to remind myself of what exactly he did. I know this will be very bad for me but I also know I NEED TO MOVE ON! I deserve someone that won't do this to me....multiple times to boot. I need help. Sorry for the vent.