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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband and I got married last march before he deployed. He got back in October and when we got married he made me promise him that we would take transitioning into married life slowly. I accepted that obviously because I know marriage is a big deal to everyone, especially the man. Well it's been almost a whole year and his parents still don't know that we're married..they don't even know I exist. I bring it up to him all of the time and we just end up fighting like crazy about it because it makes me feel like he's embarrassed of me. which really hurts. When he got back from his deployment I found emails from a friend (girl) from his prior base with them saying that they missed each other and things like that. and also to another girl that he was deployed with and they met up for coffee (who knows what else) and he just kept saying how she seemed so shy and she was so pretty with alot of " ;) " faces... Since he came home we barely have sex. I try to have sex with him all of the time. I don't know what's wrong with me or what I'm doing wrong. I don't think in any way that I'm ugly and no one has ever called me ugly. but how do I know if he's even attracted to me? I'm so new to this still I don't know if I'm just over reacting or what I need to do. Someone please help?!
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Sorry you are going through this. I'm sure it's very hurtful.

We do need some more info.

How old are the two of you?

How long did you two date before you married?

Does he have you listed as his wife with the military?

Do his parents live in the same town you live in? Do you know where they live?
 

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How come that you're married and his parents don't know about it? What about his friends? Do they know that you exist?

My opinion is that he's selling you crap for some reason.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I'm 20 and he's 22. we didn't date long before we got married. but we knew each other for a couple of years. I went to basic training and my tech school for my job at his previous base and that's where we met. he does have me listed as his wife. everyone in his life except his family knows we're married. he doesn't try to "hide" me from anyone else. We're both from Texas. I know what city they live in and I'm sure I could find their exact address. But yes his friends and co workers know I exist.
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I presume that your parents and siblings (if you have any) know that you are married?

Why does he say that he does not tell his parents? Do they ever call him when he's with you? What's his relationship like with them?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My family knew we were getting married before we did, and they love him like hes their own. He says he doesnt want his parents to dis own them, he's really not that close to his parents, but that's not the point.. whether youre close with them or not they should still know right?

And about the BAH he's an E-5 so he was already collecting full BAH and out of the dorms and what not. it didnt change when we got married because since were married mil to mil we both collect single BAH rates, not dependent rates.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yes ma'am, we both get single. But his is taken because we live on base.

He told me his family didnt want him to get married because they didnt want anyone to hold him back from anything in life... I'm not holding him back from anything, he likes to fly, so we go flying together or he goes by himself. He's an air traffic controller that applied for FAA this year so i was with him through every step of that, helped him with his resume, everything. Were both white, around the same age, and we're both from the same state (Which everyone from Texas agrees its the best state) so there would be no problems there. It just makes me feel like theres something so wrong with me, why am i being hidden? Once again all of his friends and coworkers know we're married, even at his christmas party several people were like "wow your wife is way too hot for you", so i guess other people dont think i'm unattractive, but i feel like he thinks i'm the ugliest thing to walk to earth. He's affectionate, but our sex life is no existent pretty much (what i would consider non existent) and i told him that i felt that way one time when we were outside and he got so angry and he stormed inside and wouldn't talk to me. Is that where honesty gets you nowadays? I'm so confused with all of this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
i'm not really sure what you mean by stealth life? He also said another reason is because i havent met his parents yet which were going to his hometown in may for his brothers graduation, then they will have to know i guess. My mom has helped me alot through this and has just said it has nothing to do with ME its about his relationship with his parents, and that i have to remember not everyones parents are as "cool" and forgiving as mine. i try to get over it. i try not to think about it. but i guess i cant really do much about it? or can i?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
everyone at home also knows about me. i'm pretty sure his parents found out... but he just pretends like they dont and they pretend likle they dont know. what do i do about it though?? Do i say either let them know or i'm filing for divorce? or do i just wait it out?
 
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