[KathyBatesel]

My husband and I play in a pool league, and this session some changes took place that resulted in us being on different teams. A couple weeks ago his team got a new member - the kind of woman I call a "poacher." She is young and attractive, wears short shorts with wedges, barely interacts with women but follows the men around and hangs on their every word. At the same time, she makes it a point to "prove" that she doesn't need a man and blah blah blah - the feminist stuff.

So tonight, my husband's team and mine were on opposite sides of the pool hall - too far to really see each other. This gal asked him to practice with her, and he did.

When we were driving home, he told me he'd felt uncomfortable about playing pool with her because past women he's known would have gotten all over his case about it.

So women... at what point would you feel threatened by another woman's presence or behavior? For me, there was only once and it was when a woman he knew in high school came up and started stroking his face and head and offering him free meals if he came to visit her at her workplace - all in my presence and after she was introduced. It made me mad because she was all but ignoring me as she did these things.

 

[Mavash.]

For me this depends on the man more than the other woman. I've never been threatened by another woman's presence because I've watched my husband shut it down FAST. Or he's told me about it later.

I may be threatened by a lot of things but other women don't even make my short list. My husband's boundaries are so high there isn't another woman out there that he'd let get that close. Mine would have said no to the request to practice pool and he would have gotten up and walked away before he let someone other than me touch him intimately.

My husband is a one woman man what can I say? LOL

 

[SimplyAmorous]

I have never worried about another woman around my husband since I met the man. Me & him both look at this the same way... neither of us can help how other people act, so long as we move & mingle in society, social groups etc, people may act in a way that annoys / gets a little too close for comfort... so long as we both honor our boundaries towards each other... then noone outside of our relationship is any concern ...I don't see other people as predators. Of course my husband isn't exactly an Alpha beaming with "presence" - or a Social Butterfly, so maybe this makes it easier for me to say these things.

We'd only have a beef with each other -if we allowed something to slip in there -that made the other uncomfortable, and we'd surely be talking about it. How very important that is.

KathyBatesel said: When we were driving home, he told me he'd felt uncomfortable about playing pool with her because past women he's known would have gotten all over his case about it.

I think it's a great sign he is talking to you about his concerns... he wants to do the right thing, as to not give others the wrong idea ....and he surely cares how you feel as well. :smthumbup:

So women... at what point would you feel threatened by another woman's presence or behavior? For me, there was only once and it was when a woman he knew in high school came up and started stroking his face and head and offering him free meals if he came to visit her at her workplace - all in my presence and after she was introduced. It made me mad because she was all but ignoring me as she did these things.

I would have been irritated at HER behavior for sure, how very rude/boundaryless ....but even in this, I doubt I'd feel threatened by it - that would all depend on how he felt/reacted - did he like her stroking his face...or did he back up, give her a look of "what the hell are you doing ?". When someone makes it so obvious they are throwing themselves at another, it deserves some sort of "blocking" response or a dash to get out of dodge.....which speaks of the respect he has for his partner....this is validating.

 

[IsGirl3]

is that a normal thing that people practice with each other one on one? I agree with the responses above - I wouldn't worry about your husband, but I don't feel comfortable about her, which is evidenced by your husband not feeling comfortable. I think your husband should turn her down the next time she wants some private practice time with him.

 

[KathyBatesel]

I don't worry about my husband!!! I am simply curious about his perception that many women would get angered by something like them practicing their games before they compete.

In the two situations above, I have never worried, and to say I "felt threatened" might be overstating it. I just felt mad at her for being disrespectful. His response was to reach for me and pull me to his side the first time and last night, he played a couple games with her and then excused himself to come visit my table.

I've been on the receiving end of irrational jealousy and it has made me take a stance that I won't cut off half the world's population for one person's benefit, and I won't be with a man that doesn't protect our relationship from threats. But when he was talking to me, he gave an example of getting "into trouble" because a woman had sat down at a table where he was sitting at lunch with people he worked with, and I was a little surprised because he really thinks that "most" women are irrationally jealous.