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What is the thing you want to tell your better half about your sex life?

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#1 ·
Sometimes its hard for us to tell our husband or wife what we want or what we are thinking about our sex life or our sexual relationship.

I would love to tell my wife I want to give her a day in a cabin where we I am her boy toy or slave. I am very much the Dominate one in the marriage when it comes to sex. I do most of the reading about sex and bring toys into the picture, I am the kinky one that brings along the ropes and oils and lubs. I give the massages and light the candles.

I would love to be toy. Told what to do and how to do it. Told what I need to do to please her. Treat her like a Queen and do as I am told for the day or weekend. I guess I am having Submissive fantasys which is opposite of what I am in our relationship.
 
#2 ·
I want my husband to TALK about sex with me, he clams up for some reason. I want him to be more open to trying new things but for the life of me I cannot figure out how to go about expressing this to him. I guess in a way I am embarrassed. Its so weird, I can talk about sex with anyone but him. I want to tell him what I want but I just worry he would think I was a freak lol.
 
#4 ·
Same here, but hubby is the same way :confused: neither of us can talk about it....I know I just have NEVER been able to...with ANYONE...we were both brought up in very "conservative" homes

There is so much I wish we could talk about...if he would, then I MIGHT be able to :scratchhead: but even then I'm not sure...
 
#22 ·
Getting my prostate massaged by my wife is one of my all time favorite wish list items to try...but I don't have the guts to ask for it...I know it would gross her out.

About 11 years ago, a nurse did this to me during a physical exam and spent some extra time massaging back there. I couldn't belive how good it felt in a strange way. It was totally unexpected, and I had a raging erection because of it. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing to me. I asked her why it felt "good" and she just smiled saying that there are a lot of wonderful nerve endings back there that can bring pleasure.

This Physical exam was what stoked my Nurse fantasy to this very day.
 
#12 ·
I had a girlfriend in college that would do the prostate thing.. I never asked for it she just did it. It was um... very effective. Almost made me jump out of my skin when she first went for it from surprise - but she persuaded me. She was talented in a creepy kind of way. Creepy as in wow... you have alot of experience with this, dont you...

I would never ask my wife for it since I know she would think it is totally gross... justifiably so. Frankly - if she isnt interested, neither am I. No worries. Typically I get a fair percentage of my jollies watching someone else having fun.. so if she is just 'playing along' I have no interest really.
 
#15 ·
We aren't spring chickens anymore!! Sex at almost 40 isn't sex at 18-22. Rip your clothes off passion doesn't stay sustained for 20 years. As much as I love you things slow down it's all part of the life cycle.

Oh wait...........we already had this discussion and agreed while laughing the whole way.

"Yeah....girl Big Daddy don't bring the heat like he used to...might have to call in some back up players"

"your crazy"


etc etc etc all that friendly banter. It truly is one of biggest pet peeves when people say they are physically just as good as they were at 20-25!! You aren't unless you were a big fatty and lost a ton of weight you just aren't.

Physical prowess peaks in the mid 20's for most, so if you're 40+ saying your the best you've ever been NOT!!
 
#17 ·
It's been done to death, talked over and dead and buried. You're the one who proclaimed "Never Again" so stop grumbling about what you think 'people should do' or what you resent every time you come home from a glorious man bashing session with your kaffeklatch friends.

Seriously, zip it.
 
#20 ·
I'd tell her that I love what we have, but I'm also rapidly getting bored with it and that a little bit of 'other stuff' that I have mentioned to you would be nice to get. I'm not old, but I'm not young anymore either, and I'd like to be able to look back on my sex life and say 'yeah, I did that' to most things people consider to be rather bland. I miss the enthusiasm, desire and dedication to our sex life you exhibited at the beginning, and wish that sex would become a priority for you again, not just something I feel is more and more becoming a chore for you, especially anything outside of the norm.
 
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#21 ·
I want to talk about sex with you but I am too embarassed to start the conversation. I don't want to seem desperate or complaining but I know that you will be hurt if I expressed my true feelings. I already know the hurts that you would likely bring to my attention as the cause of our impasse, and I fear that there is nothing I can do to soothe your pain.
 
#23 ·
I really do appreciate our sex life and I am always grateful for what we have. I know that nobody can be perfect and I certainly don't want to force you to do something that you are uncomfortable with and I don't want to change you from who you are. But with that being said, I'm getting tired of carrying the heavier load when it comes to our sex life. It is always me that has to come up with suggestions of different things to try (positions, toys, lingerie, etc). It is me that initiates (80% of the time) and no matter how many times I try to talk about one of my requests (especially around lingerie or dressing "sexy"), I usually get nothing in return or what I do see is very short-lived.
I know that I have said some callous and insensitive things in the past that have hurt your feelings and caused your self esteem to drop. For that, I am truly sorry...and I've told you so on multiple occasions.
I also have a couple of desires (prostate massage, possible pegging) that I am too embarrased to bring up, though I know I shouldn't be. You are my wife of 23+ years and we should be able to talk about anything. We have made a lot of progress since we were first married and for that, I am very grateful. But, at 45 years old, I'm terrified to think that this is the best that it will get.
 
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#24 ·
What sex life =(

I will have to Google "sex" to find out what it means so i can respond to your question!
 
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#25 ·
I think I would love to be taken to a hotel room and for once I was not in charge but a slave to my mistress wife. I want her to make all the kinky sex decission. I want her to push my limits and explore me in any ways she desires. I would love to be told what to do and to find out she can have as many kinky wonderful thoughts as I do.

I remember I once called her up and asked her to be laying ready for me when I got home from work. That with in 30 seconds from me walking in the door I want to be making love and not one word is to be spoken. She was to be waiting and ready to receive. It was one of the hottest things we have done and not one word was spoken at the time.
 
#30 ·
I agree always key.

This morning I told my wife about one of my fantasy's about going for a walk and finding an old abandon barn that was standing but the house was gone. I made up the entire story while we were playing. I talked to her about how hot it was in the barn and how I had her tied up with her arms above her head. The more I got into the details the hotter things became. I would suggest you share your fantasy that you may never really do in real life. Explain that its just a fantasy and a story you want to share. who knows she might come to you and ask you to make it real on day.
 
#31 ·
I would like us to be more spontaneous. For us, PiV is more like an event that has to be planned out, prepared for and organized. "Okay, we have to wash up. Do you want me to wear this? Do you have the lube and the lotion? Where's the towel?" I swear I've already memorized everything she's going to say.

I would like some spontaneity to take the rust off things and make the act new and refreshing instead of predictable and nigh scripted. It would be awesome if she would give into her animal instincts every now and then so we could have exciting, carnal sex.

Oh! I would also like a foot job, so get a pedicure! :p
 
#33 · (Edited)
Why does the exciting and spotanious sex have to end after being married 20 years.

I don't get it. My wife and I have been married for 20 years and I want to do all those teenager things.. Making out in a movie theater, frisky playing under the table at a restaurant.

I was surprised that on a recent flight home she put her jacket in my lap and teased me until we landed.

Just because we age doesn't mean there can't sometimes still be a spark of love and spotanious pleasure
 
#34 ·
To My Better Half [stbh],

1 - I am SERIOUS about the things I told you I want. The jist of it - be more dominant. You don't seem to have any problem with the idea of it but you hardly ever even try doing the many little things I told you I would like. :( It's worst because you gave your ex those things even though you claim she didn't try at all to please you in bed and I do.

2 - Just because you're angry doesn't give you a right to try to shame me for my sexuality. The way I like things in the bedroom, the things I am eagerly willing to do to please you, the things I am intrigued by do NOT make me less of a lady outside of the bedroom. You (who has far more experience than I and have tried far more crazy things) of all people shouldn't judge, I certainly don't judge you. I know you know this, I know it's a defense mechanism, I know you have nothing but respect for me... but please try to control yourself better when you get angry. IT'S NOT COOL! The only thing you will accomplish if you keep it up is pushing me away and making me more inhibited and insecure.

3 - I think I might be a nympho. <.< Well, maybe not really, but I do want sex a lot more often than you think I do. A lot a lot a lot. Like 3 quickies and 2 looong good sessions every day... at least.

4 - But as long as we are together I will only be sexual with you. :) I respect and treasure my body but I give it to you, I hope you won't take that for granted just as I don't take you for granted.
 
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