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My wife left me about 10 months ago for her boss from work, i didnt see it coming. She told me she is NOT in love with me anymore, I am still very much in love with her. But what strikes me as strange is that she will call/text me almost everyday just to tell me something funny she saw or read. She comes over and has dinner or coffee with her still mother-in-law (my mother) everyweek. We have a two year old little boy together, he is living with his mother. But when we are together for whatever it may be, we laugh and have fun its almost like we are still together. She refers to her new Boyfriend as friend all the time, even though i know for a fact they are together. Hes older then her shes 22, and hes 29, She has told me she is going to get papers to separate but its been about 10 months and i havent gotten anything. She also calls me when her boyfriend makes her sad or angry...i am still very much in love with my wife, and all that is keeping me going is hope. Im just wondering what could she be thinking...why keep me so close when she does not want to be with me, why stay so close to my mother when she ripped my heart out?...this is all i think about everyday...i just wish i could get some ideas or answers..i wasnt the best father/husband but ive changed since this started, but she still tells me im the same way i was before... i would do anything to have her back.
 

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Sorry, but it looks like she may be stringing you along as a contingency plan... Sorry :(

You want her back? Act like she doesn't exist. Don't text or call, unless it is about your child. Go "dark" as they say... Supposed to wake her up to what she'd be missing...
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You may be better served moving this thread to the Coping with Infidelity (CWI) section of TAM since it seems like you're trying to wait out your wife's affair.

Also, read Welcome TAM CWI newbies if you haven't already.

I agree with YP, don't contact her unless it concerns your son.
 

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Yin is right - sounds like she isn't sure of this guy and wants to keep her options open

stop being there for her for a start, as long as she knows you're there she's got carte blanche to carry on

do you really want her back after this? really? if you're a similar age to her I'm thinking that's very young to be with someone who's already had one affair. I guess if you want to spend your life wondering when she's going to do it again......

sorry dude but you need to focus on yourself, not on her - she doesn't sound like she's worth it. I mean, the boss? come on! Unprofessional as well as unfaithful...
 

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I just out that my WS is friends again with the guy she cheated on me with before we were married. Going dark hurts like all hell, but it has to be done.
 

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Well, the new guy does not put her on a pedestal like she expected. So he respects him for that but now and then when her self esteem takes a hit, she will come back to you to fill it up again. Ask your mother to end contact. Stop engaging her until she recommits to the marriage.
 

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However, if you have no self-worth, perhaps being her "Plan B" suits you just fine?

Perhaps some individual counseling is in order.
 

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Conrad hit it right on the nose. YOU are her Plan B -- a "just in case" guy.

Only you can decide if that is aceptable to you !!
 
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