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I'm all for a person (man or woman) standing up for themselves, being honest and forthright, demanding to be their partner's priority sexually and emotionally. But this alpha stuff is absolutely KILLING me!

I'm not unique or especially smart. I am sure I fall right in the middle of the ever present and all knowing "bell curve." The idea of my husband ignoring me, going out at night without talking to me, stopping what little he actually does around the house, that's supposed to make me want him more? It makes me HATE him. It makes me want to RUN.

The times when I am most attracted to him is when he is looking at me like I'm the only person in the world. When he cares how I think and feel. When I'm his priority. It makes me so sad to see these men reading nonsense about the 2/3 rule and other tripe. You know what, he already has given me 2/3 of what I've given to him and I am about this close to smacking him right now! lol

Ugh...I'm rambling and venting and having a tough night. I read those rules the alpha follows and it fits my husband to a tee and we are teetering on the edge of chaos right now. I want to scream: you're the father of my children! I want to make this work! Help me!

So if you want to stand up for your right to watch porn whether or not your wife likes it, and flirt with other women to up your sex rank, and treat your wife like she's expendable, then DO NOT GET MARRIED. Whew. Crazy rant over.
 

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I think the idea of a simple formula that is under your control and promises you more sex is very attractive to a certain type of man in a certain type of situation.

And not only does is let them off the hook from doing their fair share of housework, it also claims that women prefer having to all the sh*tty, boring, everyday tasks themselves and will automatically go weak at the knees if their men refuse to demean themselves with such things.
 

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I'm all for a person (man or woman) standing up for themselves, being honest and forthright, demanding to be their partner's priority sexually and emotionally. But this alpha stuff is absolutely KILLING me!

I'm not unique or especially smart. I am sure I fall right in the middle of the ever present and all knowing "bell curve." The idea of my husband ignoring me, going out at night without talking to me, stopping what little he actually does around the house, that's supposed to make me want him more? It makes me HATE him. It makes me want to RUN.

The times when I am most attracted to him is when he is looking at me like I'm the only person in the world. When he cares how I think and feel. When I'm his priority. It makes me so sad to see these men reading nonsense about the 2/3 rule and other tripe. You know what, he already has given me 2/3 of what I've given to him and I am about this close to smacking him right now! lol

Ugh...I'm rambling and venting and having a tough night. I read those rules the alpha follows and it fits my husband to a tee and we are teetering on the edge of chaos right now. I want to scream: you're the father of my children! I want to make this work! Help me!

So if you want to stand up for your right to watch porn whether or not your wife likes it, and flirt with other women to up your sex rank, and treat your wife like she's expendable, then DO NOT GET MARRIED. Whew. Crazy rant over.
From what I understand about the Alpha rules touted here,it is for men whose wives do not prioritize their needs in the marriage and so this dynamic MIGHT turn the tables for them.A complete man is one that has both alpha(leadership,organisation,sexually agggresive) and beta(doing chores,affectionate,great listener) traits,and applies them at the appropriate times.
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From what I understand about the Alpha rules touted here,it is for men whose wives do not prioritize their needs in the marriage and so this dynamic MIGHT turn the tables for them.A complete man is one that has both alpha(leadership,organisation,sexually agggresive) and beta(doing chores,affectionate,great listener) traits,and applies them at the appropriate times.
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I know I've posted this before, but I do agree with biola and I think it bears repeating.

Mrs. Wysh calls me her Balpha c0cky cook.

She thinks I am the correct 'blend' of beta and alpha and I do most of the cooking.
 

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To be fair, the context of the alpha discussion you refer to reflects some more extreme discussions that seem to dominate the Men's Club in recent months, while the context seemed very different before. When I first joined the site, I was simply stunned to read about some of the tragic role imbalances that men and women described. But for many men, it seemed that they had so elevated their wife's needs without fair consideration of their own, that they had virtually no voice in the marriage relationship. Many tried to do more favors to win her affection, but little of the change was directed inward, towards growth. While I haven't read the books often cited, and personally disagree with any plan that does not involve honoring each other as life partners, I do think there is a place for discussion on how to grow as men. Sadly, our culture offers little to young men on how to find a balanced path through the deluge of sexuality from the media, comical portrayals of happily married men, and the vacuum of being a strong man in today's society.

It is possible to be both sensitive and have an inner core of leadership as a man, although far too many threads mysteriously imply that the two have to be mutually exclusive. Or at least some made the assumption that this is what is being proposed any time you talk about growing the alpha element of your personality.
 

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Just because I feel sorry for ya and to make sure you arent the thread killer...


I do agree that the media and our culture seems waay out of whack with how men and women should be. From what I seen its awesome to be an ass and a tramp or in case of marriage commercials..... The womans a heartless bytch and the mans a doofus who is wrong to inconvienence her with something so little as a cough.





Yeah... I think im just prattling on but eh....
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AnnieAsh.. did you see my newer thread...

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-c...thy-praise-honor-minus-alpha-beta-debate.html


I agree with you, all the Alpha praise gets on my nerves...... I get why some men NEED to turn it around on some of their wives though, depending on the situation at home.....if their wives have slowly grown into a entitled cold uncaring woman -ignoring his needs / taking him for granted...allowing her the upper reign....

It's an avenue to get some leverage back in their marriage.. so she'll finally look up & say.... "
what's gotten into you, you don't help me anymore, you don't care"....puts a little fire & chase on HER end... for him....bringing those questions on....something he couldn't reach her with before...with his "giving" efforts ... This is not your situation at all though....why these write-ups Repulse. They Repulse me also.

For some Men... even all of that is hard to do, because it goes against everything in them, what they have been taught, so even reading all of this dribble wouldn't turn such a man into an A$$hole... but if a man was already an A-hole, then his advice ....well, you might as well run for the Divorce papers .... Ain't no working with a self conceited monster like that.

It's mostly Adex's threads that want us to
and
....some unbalanced/ ugly teachings for sure... against anything that remotely sounds like a Good man/ Husband/ Father .
 

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Just because I feel sorry for ya and to make sure you arent the thread killer...


I do agree that the media and our culture seems waay out of whack with how men and women should be. From what I seen its awesome to be an ass and a tramp or in case of marriage commercials..... The womans a heartless bytch and the mans a doofus who is wrong to inconvienence her with something so little as a cough.





Yeah... I think im just prattling on but eh....
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^^^^
Touché

Haha!
 

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That one was one of.... Think it was a mucinex or however its spelled... One of them commercials.
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It's mostly Adex's threads that want us to
and
....some unbalanced/ ugly teachings for sure... against anything that remotely sounds like a Good man/ Husband/ Father .
They are nonetheless a welcome and entertaining addition to this forum for me. Especially stuff like this:

I haven't been to this site for a week and a half and it's good to see this thread still close to the top. RECOGNIZE THE POWER OF THE ALPHA.:smthumbup:
Heh

@AnnieAsh

This forum is normally quick to advise on those who fall too much on either spectrum of being too nice or too much of an a$$hole anyway. To be honest I wouldn't worry about it :)
 

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When I first joined the site, I was simply stunned to read about some of the tragic role imbalances that men and women described. But for many men, it seemed that they had so elevated their wife's needs without fair consideration of their own, that they had virtually no voice in the marriage relationship. Many tried to do more favors to win her affection, but little of the change was directed inward, towards growth.
^^^^^^
THIS.

What does it cost a woman, or even another man if a man decides to improve himself in a way that he sees fit?
Nothing.[ Theoretically ]

What does it cost a man, or another woman if a woman decided to assert her position in an abusive relationship and improve herself?
Nothing.[Theoretically ]

I have only read a few sections of the books , and most of it does not apply to our marriage because that level of dysfunctionalism does not exist in our marriage. But I would not for one minute think that it does not exist in any marriage , because I have seen it at work in real life.

But maybe the OP is right.
Maybe its all just masculine amphigory , designed for men who shouldn't be married.
So here's my advice,
Maybe the weak doormats who are inclined to believe such
" poppyc*ck " should just do themselves a favour.
Don't dump the books, just dump the women, after all they do deserve much better in life than you [ weak men ] could ever give.
Work on yourself
And get a real life...............
 

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@AnnieAsh

This forum is normally quick to advise on those who fall too much on either spectrum of being too nice or too much of an a$$hole anyway. To be honest I wouldn't worry about it :)
Touché,
Again....
 

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Upping the alpha is really a conversation that shouldn't leave the men's clubhouse. And as someone who has tended to be a doormat most of my life, understanding "alpha" (or what I like to think of as that elusive masculine charm, charisma, or strength of character that generates attraction in the opposite sex) is of critical importance to me being able to make the life I want, in regards to relationships.
 

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I disagree lon. With the first part that is. I am of the opinion that either gender can discuss what they wish wherever and whenever they wish. Upping the alpha can appky to women just as it does for mn. There are doormats in both genders.
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Upping the alpha is really a conversation that shouldn't leave the men's clubhouse. And as someone who has tended to be a doormat most of my life, understanding "alpha" (or what I like to think of as that elusive masculine charm, charisma, or strength of character that generates attraction in the opposite sex) is of critical importance to me being able to make the life I want, in regards to relationships.
.............or even if you should decide to stay single for the rest of you life.
It is still applicable any way you look at it.
Take what you think is good for you and reject the rest.
Simple , conventional wisdom.
 

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I disagree lon. With the first part that is. I am of the opinion that either gender can discuss what they wish wherever and whenever they wish. Upping the alpha can appky to women just as it does for mn. There are doormats in both genders.
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:iagree: X 100%........and have said so ad nauseum on this site.
 

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