First of all I would like to say I normally did not go for advice but the post above could not have been more true and I appreciate the advices I get from others even more because I feel that I can relate to what others have gone through before me and can only hope that It can help me before it is too late.
I'll try to keep it short since a lot have happened since I posted my original post but following back up on my original post I did not demand my wife to come back from her extended vacation early that summer but instead elected to let her stay the amount of time we agreed prior to her leaving. A week after she came back our marriage got into a real jeoprady when I caught her sexting a a very close friend and relative of mine that lived in canada who she new long before we even got married. I knew that they kept in touch as friends and I have been suspicious of the two before and we have fought about him before but it was over minor things and she used to say that I was blowing it out of proportion and that she didnt want him and that I was being Jelous. We have been through too much to list on here but I have tried to make the relationship work and after a few short splits we have gotten back together.
I let her go back to canada this past summer to help her sister who was having a baby. This time it was completely different she tried calling me all the time and I was the one not intrested as the feeling of betrayel was still within me and I acted as I just didnt care. We got into a unrelated argument where a I brought up the person she was sexting and she was devestated and stoped calling me. In response I went to canada picked up my kids and we have been apart for 5 month which during that period she started calling me and wanting to get back together we finally got back together and I picked her up.
As of now she has been a good wife and being more attentive to me and in return I have worked my schedule around so that I can be around her an the kids more often but to this day I have a hard time forgetting what she did. The worst part is even though I was suspicious of them not In my wildest dream did I expect her of cheating and even though I just seen the sexting and that is all she admited to but because of the betrayel and my lost of trust for everyone living she may have very well been having an affair and I just don't know about it.
Bottom line is I don't want to have another regret It seems that our relationship is going very well but what she did to me is killing me inside but I dont show it and although I have forgivin I can't simply forget. The fact that we have been split and back together multiple time shows me that I don't want to be without her but It seems that more and more that I'm with her because she is the mother of my kids and I don't want that to be the basis of our relationship. I need any advice from anyone who can help I simply live the rest of my life like this.
If what you posted is true, then she should have no problem taking a polygraph.IShe has shown that she would put up with everything that I do and that she really wants to make this work.
She has denied any PA but I simply cannot trust her because she has lied multiple times through out this whole ordeal and only confessed to things I had hard evidence of. I know for a fact that she would never admit to this because I know that she knows if she ever admits to it that would end our relationship and everyone in this universe would also know about it.
She has givin into all my demands and is trying to be a perfect wife. Since I don't have any evidence of PA I feel that I should try to move on but the question "what IF she did?" Keeps haunting me and I don't know what to do.
Everyone keeps saying polygraph. I've recently mentioned this to my cheating wife.Polygraph Test.
Once a poly is mentioned always carry it out .Everyone keeps saying polygraph. I've recently mentioned this to my cheating wife.
Be prepared to be privately slammed by her to her friends and family. She's going to go on and on about how controlling and bizarre you are for asking for poly. Her friends and family are going to agree with her.
My wife told me this (I also read the text msgs). My reply was simply... those poly places are only in business because this is a fairly common request of cheating spouses. I also told her that I'd hook into the machine and take the same questions. Both statements stopped her dead in her tracks.
Clever. This is a great response.My reply was simply... those poly places are only in business because this is a fairly common request of cheating spouses. I also told her that I'd hook into the machine and take the same questions. Both statements stopped her dead in her tracks.
Well, a little more information might help.
- What do you mean by scorched earth and holes in the Milky Way?
- What information did you recover from the sexting?
- How did you confront?
- How did you expose?
- Did you talk to the OM?
- Did you confirm her activities while she was in Canada? With whom?
- Did you try bluffing her that you had evidence of a PA to get a reaction?
What is the significance of that? People have sex before midnight, too. Sorry to mention that, but they do.4 hours or so but she was never out past midnight.
And she hardly bought anything on all those shopping trips.He picked her after dark, and brought her back 4 hours later!
Seriously, they went and had sex each time,
She's as full of crap as a Christmas goose. Set up the poly, then, maybe, she'll start coming clean. Right now you're not even close to the truth.He picked her after dark, and brought her back 4 hours later!
Seriously, they went and had sex each time,
This is also my take. Imagne the worse... likely won't be disapointed. But if it wasn't thad bad... a win.I chose to accept that fact that he did have a PA...even if it was just oral. That way if I found out later it would not come as a shock. It also helped that I had accepted all forms of the affair not just an EA. I worked for me, but I cannot say that it would work for everyone.
