[LdyVenus]

I read "Not just friends" and there is a good amount of success when the AP is a rekindled romance from the past....

I've been reading posts for a while now and I've seen alot of people use "the grass isn't greener" saying for many different situations. I know that we say this to make people feel better about their situation. Of course the WS is in a "fog" and the BS wants this statement to be true. But what if the grass is greener on the other side?

 

[life101]

I read "Not just friends" and there is a good amount of success when the AP is a rekindled romance from the past....

I've been reading posts for a while now and I've seen alot of people use "the grass isn't greener" saying for many different situations. I know that we say this to make people feel better about their situation. Of course the WS is in a "fog" and the BS wants this statement to be true. But what if the grass is greener on the other side?

Then the WS is in the delusion for a lifetime. Or, the WS and the AP deserve each other with all their baggages.

I understand that all human relationships and interactions come with a set of expectations. But if the WS is so egotistical that an already existing relationship can be thrown out for a new one, then the WS probably should not enter into a relationship again. A long term relationship means that you promise to stand by the person during good times and bad. If a bad time makes a WS search for greener pastures, then the WS was just being a prostitute, selling companionship for the highs from good times.

 

[MrMathias]

There's a pro-affair site that is a better place for questions like this.

I think it would be best not to even consider what might be growing on the opposite side of the fence.

 

[life101]

And btw, I have nothing against prostitutes. They sell a service for which there is demand. They are lot better and honest than a WS, at least they don't pretend to care for you and then do one of the most hurtful things you can do to your life partner.

 

[LdyVenus]

Ahhh I am not pro affair. I am actually a BS. I just know that there are BS, WS, and everything in between on this site. It is just a question...

 

[life101]

Ahhh I am not pro affair. I am actually a BS. I just know that there are BS, WS, and everything in between on this site. It is just a question...

I feel sorry for you. But as everyone here always say, the grass is never greener on the other side. If the WS had put so much effort that went into the A to save the marriage, then none of us would have to be here.

 

[LdyVenus]

none of us would have to be here.

Haha so true.

 

[the guy]

If the grass *is* greener on the other side then get the phuck off my lawn so I can plant more seed and add some plant food. Then don't come crawling back cuz my grass is alot more greener then the one you left me for.

 

[LdyVenus]

If the grass *is* greener on the other side then get the phuck off my lawn so I can plant more seed and add some plant food. Then don't come crawling back cuz my grass is alot more greener then the one you left me for.

:iagree:

 

[the guy]

I think if waywards are going to pull this crap then stay in the bed that they have made and don't come back asking for forgivness.

It also pisses me off when waywards sit of the fence...jump off and stay on my lawn or stay on someone else lawn...just get off the damb fence.....

Right?

 

[Wazza]

At some point you have to pick a patch of lawn and stake your claim.

No relationship is perfect. There are rewards that come from commitment though. You don't get them unless you commit.

 

[the guy]

The words " pro affair" are so messed up, I can't even comprehend the meaning.

I mean, being here for so long, I hear time and a gain that the wayward made a mistake/confused or it was an exsit affair/bad marriage, but the whole concept of being pro affair is nuts.

Granted I've gone over to doccool and read a few posts and it really is out there, but for the most part to poeple grow up wanting to be a cheater irregardless if it was a drunken mistake or a LTA during a bad marriage.

Sorry I got off topic but the words "pro affair" hit a nerve. LOL

 

[MrMathias]

The words " pro affair" are so messed up, I can't even comprehend the meaning.

Sorry I got off topic but the words "pro affair" hit a nerve. LOL

If I use Google to search Doccool, the first three words are "Have an Affair".

I wish Anonymous would take the site down.

 

[Numbersixxx]

If I use Google to search Doccool, the first three words are "Have an Affair".

I wish Anonymous would take the site down.

I share this feeling. They should hack the site and expose the scum in real life. Maybe I will ask the people of 4chan to do that, just for the lulz.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[the guy]

If I use Google to search Doccool, the first three words are "Have an Affair".

I wish Anonymous would take the site down.

But then how would the waywards find that greener grass?:lol:

One thing about green grass (at least here in socal) is it is a b1tch to keep green and once it dies you have to start allover again.

In the long run if you can commit to the lawn and water it and feed it it will last longer.

Speaking of prostitutes, one can always hire a landscape guy to keep a lawn green.:lol:

I love analogies...

 

[LdyVenus]

I guess I was "blindsided" but upon further thought I realized that my WS was withdrawing and I let him assuming he would come back. He always had before. I also tried to talk to him about issues and he shut me out. His cyber affair was short lived and was more sexual than lovey dovey. I guess I am wondering if it would have gone on longer how far would it have gone. They live in different states but airplanes go everywhere...

Forgiving and forgetting takes alot of hard work, and my WS was only chatting nothing physical. Someone pointed out to me, on another thread that I am having an A with the notion of divorce. Wondering if the grass will be greener for him and me...

 

[Pepper123]

I realize this is going to be a much hated perspective, but....

My parents were married for 25 years; happy for 6. They "stayed together for the kids" the other 19 vacillated between tolerance and misery. I can tell you seeing that had severe detrimental affects to my own relationships to this date. My mom wanted out when I was 4, and they divorced the month after I graduated HS. My dad had an affair in the end -- do I blame him? No. He ended up marrying his AP and is happier now than he ever was with my mom. Do I think he went about it the right way? Of course not... but if you are going to use the analogy of "can the grass be greener" then I would say in his case it was. I love both my mom and my step-mom... My parents are much better apart.

I also have a very good friend that also had an affair, married his AP and they have been together for 12 years.

Let me be clear that I don't agree with or condone affairs, but some people lack the coping skills to know how to deal with life and the challenges that come with it.

 

[Count of Monte Cristo]

I also have a very good friend that also had an affair, married his AP and they have been together for 12 years.

Of course, there are miserable marriages that should probably be ended. If you're unhappy, get a divorce and then go look for greener pastures. Searching for greener fields while still married is the coward's way out.

 

[Pepper123]

I don't at all disagree...

 

[EleGirl]

I read "Not just friends" and there is a good amount of success when the AP is a rekindled romance from the past....

I've been reading posts for a while now and I've seen alot of people use "the grass isn't greener" saying for many different situations. I know that we say this to make people feel better about their situation. Of course the WS is in a "fog" and the BS wants this statement to be true. But what if the grass is greener on the other side?

Unless there are serious problems in a marriage (infidelity, spouse with serious financial issues, abuse, angry spouse, addictions), a person's unhappiness is generally caused by their own internal issues. If they cannot be happy in an otherwise good marriage, they probably will not be happy after they leave the marriage and are single.

To paraphrase Abe Lincoln.. a person is about as happy as they make up their mind to be.