Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Has anyone else had to deal with this?

Even though I drive all around the city and manage to find my way to places, when he's my passenger he can't stand it if I take a different route than he would. Or if I don't take his advice and end up on a dead end road and have to turn around.

Is there a way to calm your man down in this situation?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Just ignore him or follow his directions or ask him to drive. I hate when my dad does this. He will give me directions while I am driving to my own house cause I think it makes him feel important.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
136 Posts
I always say "do you trust me?" I said it two or three times to my ex and he stopped giving me directions. Puts it all back on them!
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,019 Posts
Let him drive. I stopped driving with my wife in the car this year for this reason. She can do it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Not really much you can do to control a drunks Mouth... Clearly you need to be in the drivers seat... I would imagine you have more issues than just his barking about driving directions.
Good point. He chose to say that since I've stopped blindly following his directions instead of my own, that's the problem with our relationship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
If he's REALLY drunk, do what I've done to some people. Move the steering wheel back and forth JUST ENOUGH to get the car rocking but not enough to where it's visible from the outside (like from a police officer).

He'll get sick to his stomach and shut up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,439 Posts
We’ve had those conversations; My wife likes to do this, as well as complain about some “smell” or how I’m driving or .... The talks don’t work.

If we have just left, first I give her the warning. If she can’t help herself and continues, I turn around, go back to the house, tell her get out and drive herself (sometimes cancelling the plans if needed). That’s sort of my “goto”.. Also works with rowdy kids. When Dad starts the u-turn, everyone gets quiet knowing they pushed a bit too far and ignored the warnings.

Works to get her to consider me as well when she drives. She’s an aggressive driver that I am uncomfortable with. So, because she refused to stop tailing gating and whipping between cars... I stopped riding with her and drove separate.

Goofy yes, but it gets the point across that it has come down to this; Refusing to be in a car with them unless they learn to respect you and your boundaries. And the boundary isn’t they can’t tell me how they’d do it, it’s the disrespectful manner of their approach that crosses the line.

After awhile, they just sort of have to adopt to you and find common ground. So, while my wife no longer tells me “I’m stupid” for my directions or not slipping over to the faster lane, she IS allowed to make polite suggestions that don’t bother me or disrespect who is driving the car. “I think Broadway is faster than ____” is ok. “The right lane seems to be moving faster.” is ok.. “Why the [email protected]# are you going down Broadway?!” or “Why the hell are you still in this lane!?” trying to make me defend my choices or insinuating that I'm stupid is not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I really like the bit about boundaries and taking the chance that they won't agree or like my behaviors if they treat me with disrespect. At first I think it could be very inconvenient for me since we share a car.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
95 Posts
Drop him off at the bus depot...and he can take it from there.
Mind you...my husband and I don't drink so I tell him that he's at the helm.
ONe time I drove and forgot to put on the signal light to make a turn. He was in my face for three days after over this petty little mistake.
So...I never drive if my h and I are going somewhere...it's not worth a migraine.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
387 Posts
My dilemma is that I'm the designated driver & he's the designated drunk. :-(
Threads like these completely avoid the real issue.

They could be about anything. This one happens to be about a guy who often drinks to the point of drunkeness, so wife becomes designated driver, and all she's complaining about is him bugging her about her choice of streets.

An asteroid just leveled my house, what color should I repaint the new bathroom?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
59 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I always shake my head at these types of posts that completely avoid the real issue.

They could be about anything. This one happens to be about a guy who often drinks to the point of drunkeness, so wife becomes designated driver, and all she's complaining about is him bugging her about her choice of streets.

An asteroid just leveled my house, what color should I repaint the new bathroom?
I thought it would be interesting to isolate one issue that was used by him as an example of how I'm ruining our marriage - since we're going to therapy next week. So far, I've heard that I'm not the only one that experiences this, so it has been extremely useful. :)
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top