[Advocado]

Thanks for posting this SA - great food for thought

I would welcome ideas on how to alert a daughter to infidelity since it is all too rife. In particular men who will select a girl and sex wise, wait for her for a long time, treating her right - but all that time, unbeknown to the girl, he is sleeping with other women. I,m saying she is the one he wants and loves, and he IS willing to wait to have sex with her , marry her and everything. How do we strike a balance between our children being too naive or too trusting and being overly suspicious and paranoid?

 

[Advocado]

Thanks for your thoughtful response SA. I think what you say about too much shielding is right on the button, also what you have said about character and communication is key.

I do try to talk to my D about sex and relationships but she gets super embarrased and NEVER participates in the "discussion" which feels very awkward and then I get embarrassed because I'm making her embarrassed! I know i should press on regardless as she will be taking stuff in even if she doesen't respond but I do find this difficult. Also I am realising that things need to be said more than once, but again it's tricky to revisit past topics when she is so reluctant to participate in the "discussion". i have to avoid a tendency to think right, I've told her about X so that's done.

My own mother didn't really talk to me about sex apart from saying to make sure I didn't end up pregnant - fullstop (both my older sisters had unplanned pregnancies in their teens!). Thankfully I didn't but unfortunately I have had issues with men presenting one way whilst keeping their real self totally hidden. I have been too trusting yet I thought I was savvy which is why I don't feel confident in getting the balance (too naive v. too suspicious) right with her.

 

[Advocado]

Talking to my D about my own personal experiences would certainly be worthwhile if it gets her attention and helps her know that I am only human too. I t's not something I have contemplated doing before and so is a little daunting, but I am up for giving it a go. Thank you for suggesting this alternative approach. You are wise indeed!