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I'm lost, can't believe at 68 I would be in this mess. Fourteen weeks ago this whole thing started. We have been married 45years and very much in love. We have two beautiful children and two beautiful grandchildren. In August my wife who is 66 suggested we go to a neighbors going away party for their son who is 24 and going into the navy. We went and had a fun time. What I found odd was the way my wife wanted to have shots with their son. We left and nothing was ever said about it. One week later we were in bed at night and I heard my wife texting on her iPhone, she had her back to me, I could just read the top message which said "don't you care about us anymore". When I tried to read more my wife felt me move and erased the text. The net day she said she was just texting our son which was not true. I began to watch more closely. I have never distrusted my wife. Our sex life has always been great even at our age. We are both retired and are always together except for when she has her nails done every three weeks, which takes about 2 hours. Her nail girls shop is 5 minutes away. Never really paid much attention. I did notice her sexual desires changed during this period. For her next nail appointment she had a hard time getting the time slot she wanted. It was so late in the afternoon not her normal time. When I asked her why, she said she just wanted a change. The time was set for 4 o'clock our neighbors son gets home at 4:30. The day of her appointment she wore her fanciest underwear which is not the norm. Sure enough 20 minutes after she left he left his house. When I confronted her about this the next day she became very angry, she told me I needed to see a doctor, I broke down terribly. I think she has had two more visits with this young man. After the last visit I heard her mumbling "it's over it's over" . Two weeks later the boy left for the service. When ever I talk about this she angrily denies everything. One day she was crying and said I wish you could get me a lie detector test, I said are you serious , she said yes, I said ok. Then she said you would do that to me, I said you asked for it didn't you? She agreed. She took the test and failed it. She still will not admit anything. We have since seen a psychologist 4 times. It's such a mess now. Our children have stopped our baby sitting and are both sick to death over this. I myself can't sleep or eat. I went from 214lbs to 183lbs in 14 weeks. I just can't get the thoughts and pictures out of my head. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
 

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When I was going thru this crap I would force the mind movie out by telling my self "I diserve good things". I was not going to allow the evil my wife did..to dictate my life. When these evil thoughts come up, force them out with your own montra...or feel free to use mine :) but have a saying that replaces these thought and everytime they enter your head repeat over and over again "I diserve good things".

You have to start working out ...that helped me the most.

So your wife continues to deny and yet you have proof of her lies....has she faced any consequences for her lies? Its a fact that with out consequences the bad behavior will continue with some other guy.

I would start planting some spy gear....voice activated recorder under her car seat, keylogger, GPS....you owe it to your self in finding out if you are still being betrayed.
 

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I'm lost, can't believe at 68 I would be in this mess. Fourteen weeks ago this whole thing started. We have been married 45years and very much in love. We have two beautiful children and two beautiful grandchildren. In August my wife who is 66 suggested we go to a neighbors going away party for their son who is 24 and going into the navy. We went and had a fun time. What I found odd was the way my wife wanted to have shots with their son. We left and nothing was ever said about it. One week later we were in bed at night and I heard my wife texting on her iPhone, she had her back to me, I could just read the top message which said "don't you care about us anymore". When I tried to read more my wife felt me move and erased the text. The net day she said she was just texting our son which was not true. I began to watch more closely. I have never distrusted my wife. Our sex life has always been great even at our age. We are both retired and are always together except for when she has her nails done every three weeks, which takes about 2 hours. Her nail girls shop is 5 minutes away. Never really paid much attention. I did notice her sexual desires changed during this period. For her next nail appointment she had a hard time getting the time slot she wanted. It was so late in the afternoon not her normal time. When I asked her why, she said she just wanted a change. The time was set for 4 o'clock our neighbors son gets home at 4:30. The day of her appointment she wore her fanciest underwear which is not the norm. Sure enough 20 minutes after she left he left his house. When I confronted her about this the next day she became very angry, she told me I needed to see a doctor, I broke down terribly. I think she has had two more visits with this young man. After the last visit I heard her mumbling "it's over it's over" . Two weeks later the boy left for the service. When ever I talk about this she angrily denies everything. One day she was crying and said I wish you could get me a lie detector test, I said are you serious , she said yes, I said ok. Then she said you would do that to me, I said you asked for it didn't you? She agreed. She took the test and failed it. She still will not admit anything. We have since seen a psychologist 4 times. It's such a mess now. Our children have stopped our baby sitting and are both sick to death over this. I myself can't sleep or eat. I went from 214lbs to 183lbs in 14 weeks. I just can't get the thoughts and pictures out of my head. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Im so sorry that after all this time together you are finding out she hasnt been honest.

I dont mean to sound rude but really, what does a 24 yo boy want with a 60 something year old woman? That makes me a little nauseous thinking about it.
 

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Is divorce out of the question?

How do you know she hadn't cheated in the past? I'm surprised at her age she could still cheat. Maybe it's in her blood.

At your age, the number of women greatly outnumbers men. Let her be. She has left the marriage.
 

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Im so sorry that after all this time together you are finding out she hasnt been honest.

I dont mean to sound rude but really, what does a 24 yo boy want with a 60 something year old woman? That makes me a little nauseous thinking about it.
That is kind of creepy:confused:
 

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Im so sorry that after all this time together you are finding out she hasnt been honest.

I dont mean to sound rude but really, what does a 24 yo boy want with a 60 something year old woman? That makes me a little nauseous thinking about it.
A couple of years before I met my wife I had a brief fling with a woman who was about 30 years older than me. I really fell for her, too.

It happens. Did I notice the age gap? No, never even considered it. I though she was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever met.

OP, is it possible he reminded your wife of you at that age?

This is not easy for you, I hope you and your wife can get through this and head for more happy times, together, if that's what you want.
 

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I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's a shame that someone so mature would even think about cheating, let alone actually do it. Is there hope at all? Do you see yourself working it out with her? You should tell the young man's parents and expose them so he can stay away from your family.
She ruined everything, and if she wants to be back in your life, she'll have to put everything out on the open. No more lies, no more cheating.
 

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get the texts now: if she still does not come clean then down load a set of D papers and present them to her and tell her this is her only chance she has to tell the truth. if you have the evidence don't let her know what you know so when you ask the questions you will have a better idea how truth she is being.

prepare your self for the worst and be ready to follow thru with what you say you are going to do
 

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At this age? With a neighbor boy some 40 years younger?

It sucks. I am sorry for you.

I think you should have played it smarter. You could have collected evidences before you confronted.

Are there more skeletons in the cupboard?
 

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She thought a 24yr old was going to stay with her for the rest of her life........Wow, I guess us cheaters do lose our mind when we're in the thick of it.
Why people asume this? I don't believe she was deluded, she knew damm well what she was getting. It was worth for her.
 

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I'm surprised at her age she could still cheat.
She's 66. I"m 63. There is still plenty of life after the mid 60's... most women live another 20 years or so.
 

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Uh no.... she was enjoying getting nailed by a 24 y/o.

Guys do it all the time.
She's 66. I"m 63. There is still plenty of life after the mid 60's... most women live another 20 years or so.
These things are true.

But these posts do nothing to help this BH.

68 destroyed, come back and up date us. You need more then to vent. You need to plan a course of action.

 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Sorry, this is not easy for me. Nothing is good. My son has cut his mom out from taking care of our new grandson. My wife told my daughter to stop calling because we have too much on our plate and she doesn't want to answer any questions. We talked last night she was very angry and said none of this is true and maybe we should get a divorce. Well maybe we should, living like this is just to much. It feels like I'm having a nightmare and can't wake up.
 
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