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Discussion Starter · #21 ·
I
When I was on the verge of filing for divorce, I stopped wearing my ring. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I took it off.

It isn’t a good sign when your wife no longer wants to feel claimed. She took it off because she doesn’t want to feel married and likely hasn’t felt married for a while.
Yeah. She makes no effort to hide the fact that she's not wearing it. Usually she doesn't wear a ring at all. When she does wear the wedding ring, it's on the right hand.i have no idea why she would bother at all to wear it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Hoped you’d read this again. Exactly correct.
Fine. She's done. You know what? So am I. I'm done. I am so ****ing done. I'm checking out. So sick of this ****. This is my second go round and both wives left me. I'm the ****ing problem. **** this. **** it all. I'm done.
 

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So as to why she's doing this right now, you're saying it is so she can find a potential replacement for me to take over as her significant other as soon as the lease is up? That would indicate she's not comfortable out of a relationship and needs to jump from one man to another with no in between.
Lots of people don’t let go of a sure thing until they have a replacement. They don’t want to be alone.
 

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Jesus: I can already see it: the wife found a new suitable dude while Chrono was sucking his thumb waiting, then Chrono's new post here: Will my wife leaving me for another guy means that this time she's really already done with me?
 

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Woman who hasn't read your copious other threads.

I don't wear a ring. But it isn't a statement about my husband. Yours however is different because she used to wear a ring.

I'll go with some choices

1. She has built resentment and believes she is done with the marriage but wants until the lease is up to get her affairs in order.

2. She is kind of having a mid - life crisis or the 4 or 7 year itch. People get to a certain point of the relationship and start to feel blase and want to see if there is a thrill around the corner. This is often times paired with a spouse who is below par in their eyes. She may want to see if someone flirts and see what it's like from the safety of home.

3. She may not actually want a divorce. Has she tried to get you to listen or change the relationship is some way? She maybe feeling you aren't still committed to the relationship. Often times this is a test to see if you really still want to be married or to see if you will finally listen.

If I had a ring and stopped wearing it. I would probably mean that I was done. But each woman is different. You are her husband and you have no idea if she would 'play' with taking off her ring? I'd say that is a much bigger problem that which hand it's on.

Some people would never take their ring off, others like me don't even wear one. I am committed to my husband and have been in a great relationship for 27 years. I
 

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Analyzing this thing to death gets you nowhere. All your multiple posts, re-questioning, asking for clarification on what others are trying to say, etc. is you treading water and allowing the current or the tide take you where you're going. You'll end up with the waves slamming you against the rocks. Your trying to seek closure before the opening bell is rung.

You have to take things at face value. Her motivation for doing things means s#!t. Her removing the visible symbol of her commitment to you and her marriage is reflective of what's in her heart. That's all there is. Don't analyze, take action. You've taken separation at the end of your current lease as decision time. Decision time can be now for your own sanity and well-being. No one here can tell you how to do it but just do something! It doesn't matter what/where you start it only matters that you start actively taking back control of your life and dictate the pace. Try to negotiate the lease for an early buyout, talk to a lawyer, demonstrate you are distancing yourself from her, etc. Taking the rings back and selling would be clear action equal to her not wearing them. Not to be vengeful but to communicate you're not willing to sit around while she gets to decide the future of your relationship.

Steel yourself and accept the fact she's checked out and let her experience what life is like without you. Yes, that means letting her take out some line to find her "freedom" which she may well do. Don't wait for her to explore her freedom. Take the initiative to start exploring yours first. Push for you to find out what it's like to live without her. When she's sees that she will either run to you or run in the other direction. You will then have your answer without waiting six months.
 

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Fine. She's done. You know what? So am I. I'm done. I am so *ing done. I'm checking out. So sick of this *. This is my second go round and both wives left me. I'm the *ing problem. * this. **** it all. I'm done.
I don't think you should blame yourself for her behavior. I've read some of the posts on your other threads, and it really looks like she is looking for a free life of dating, but she is not doing it in an ethical way. She stayed with you until her son is out, and now that she looks physically better after working on her physical appearance, she wants to explore the dating world. She doesn't want to be a stepmother, but it sounds like she is not brave enough to say it to you, and also she might be keeping you as plan B in case she doesn't find better options. We don't have her version of the story, but from your various posts this is what it looks like, so you shouldn't be thinking that you are the problem because most likely you are not.
 

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Ok so I just read a clip of one of the other threads.

Your wife is trying to decide if her and Jim are going to get together.
 

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Holy ****, I thought we finally got past all of this pathetic idiocy in your last thread on this exact topic.
The first thread didn’t take. You asked all the questions got all the same answers and the same basic advice from everyone here - but you couldn’t seem to grasp it.

Then you started a second thread on the exact same topic, asking the exact same questions and you got all of the exact same answers from all of the people once again. This time, by the end it seemed like you were finally starting to comprehend and acknowledge the obvious reality of your situation. It seemed like it was finally starting to get through.

And now here we are with the third thread, on the exact same topic, asking the exact same questions about the exact same ridiculous situation.

if this is for real, you deserve whatever you get at this point.
Lol, the very definition of insanity.
 

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Please get yourself into a good counselor. You need assistance urgently. I say this in all seriousness. Life is to short to live in emotional turmoil. Get her out of your life and move on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
^^This.

Are you prepared to sit around until November waiting to see what she does? Call it now. Tell her she's either in or out, but not both. If there's any hesitation on her part, end it.
It's not that easy. There are financial issues involved. Neither of us can leave until the lease is up.
 

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So as to why she's doing this right now, you're saying it is so she can find a potential replacement for me to take over as her significant other as soon as the lease is up? That would indicate she's not comfortable out of a relationship and needs to jump from one man to another with no in between.
Probably already found him. Check your phone bill. Like most she wants to cake eat awhile.
 

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Are you prepared to sit around until November waiting to see what she does? Call it now. Tell her she's either in or out, but not both. If there's any hesitation on her part, end it.
You will take longer to adjust healthily to the changes if you do not accept that by caring less, she has taken control of how your relationship will end.

Set the deadline... as said before, in or out.

Stick to your deadlines, your boundaries, and act with purpose.

The freedom from suffering that is found will allow you opportunity to choose your future wisely.
 
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