My wife of 8 years says she loves me, but she says she isn't "in love" with me any more. I understand what she is getting at, but neither of us can really define what that means. She and I still share connections and bonds that are strong (we started off as best friends), but she just can't seem to connect with me in a more intimate way right now (despite me trying). Is being "in love" something that we do to torture ourselves? Does it exist to make an otherwise good relationship harder (grass is greener...)? Is it just a biologically or chemically driven state that fades after the "honeymoon" period? What do you all think "in love" means? How do you get back to there after many years? Is it necessary to get there in order to have a successful marriage if everything else lines up?