[littlebirdie]

My husband and I have been married for decades. Sudden marriage problems (at least to me!) for about a year. Spent much time with him lately, and when I ask him if he enjoyed the things we did together, he said "I don't mind being with you". I was extremely hurt. How would you interpret his comment?

 

[EnjoliWoman]

I would be hurt but I would have jokingly said "MIND? Is it just shy of unpleasant or bordering fun?" Unless you ask, you won't know.

I'm the worst at following my own advice in this area.

 

[Mavash.]

I wouldn't interpret I'd tell him directly that it hurt and I'd ask him what he meant by it.

 

[BrokenHeartedBelle]

You should start the conversation by telling him how you feel, then ask him what type of things he would like for you to do as a couple.

 

[Thor]

Reead "5 Love Languages" today. And do ask him what he meant.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[heavensangel]

Sounds like an unfinished answer.....I would have been hurt for sure and respondeded with: but what?

You definitely need to ask him to explain his answer if for nothing else, than to ease your mind.

 

[Desperate_Housewife]

Next time you are intimate and he asks, "How was it for you?", respond, "I don't mind having sex with you." Maybe he'll get the hint.

jk-ing

I agree with the others... tell him how his reply made you feel and ask for an explanation.

 

[BeachGuy]

Yeah...that was a pretty crappy reply.

 

[MaritimeGuy]

Some of us guys are pretty bad at expressing our emotions. It's almost as though laying our emotions out there for someone to see somehow puts us in a weak position. It could be he meant something significant by what he said or it could be he's just really bad at expressing himself. As others have suggested you need further discussion to get to the truth.

 

[ChristineReynolds]

That was a pretty lame reply, but it's possible you're reading into more than you should. Start accessing your marriage with him. You've been married for a long time, so you should both feel comfortable asking what's going well and what's not and then determining what changes you each should make.

I loved "Desperate Housewife's" comment above, but probably wouldn't recommend saying that to him, although he deserves it!!

 

[littlebirdie]

Next time you are intimate and he asks, "How was it for you?", respond, "I don't mind having sex with you." Maybe he'll get the hint.

jk-ing

I actually thought of doing that, but I'm sure it wouldn't go well.

 

[PBear]

I actually thought of doing that, but I'm sure it wouldn't go well.

Wouldn't that be the point? To let him know his comment was hurtful?

C
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Hope1964]

My hubby is the total king of understatement. I can see him saying something like that too. When what he really meant to say was that yes, he did enjoy the things we did together.

Are you familiar with the concept of the love bank? If his with you had lots of credits, what he said wouldn't hurt so much.

Five Love Languages is a great book. So is His Needs Her Needs.

 

[littlebirdie]

Talk with husband last night. He meant what he said. I again told him it hurt me. No apologies offered.

More intentional chipping away of the marriage...

 

[missmolly]

My husband and I have been married for decades. Sudden marriage problems (at least to me!) for about a year. Spent much time with him lately, and when I ask him if he enjoyed the things we did together, he said "I don't mind being with you". I was extremely hurt. How would you interpret his comment?

I would have followed that up with
'but you would prefer . . . . . ??'

 

[Madman1]

I would like to shake that guy, "do you realize what you are doing?"

 

[MaritimeGuy]

Talk with husband last night. He meant what he said. I again told him it hurt me. No apologies offered.

More intentional chipping away of the marriage...

Ouch!

Sorry to say but it sounds as though he's trying to press you into taking some kind of action. The result being when you do you will be the bad guy.