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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We are in a sexless marriage and he doesn’t want to have sex or go on dates or do anything. Lately this past months his been going on YouTube and has religiously been watching videos of this man that claims to say that we all women all want to take mens money and that that’s our only intention. He shared that this life coach for men is warning all men saying that they shouldn’t get married or give any women money . My husband as it is is controlling and does not give me no money whatsoever not even when he is not the one working for it. Now that he is watching this videos he is saying that men are starting to hate women because women are gold diggers and they will try to have kids just so that the man gives her child support. My response to him is that it’s not true not all women will try and take the money away from the husbands and not all women have bad intentions. He says that am wrong that women all are the same unless he goes to Mexico and looks for a poor Mexican girl who doesn’t care about materialistic things or money then he can trust that type of women . So my question is if us women are all the same and we are only out to get men then why the hell marry us or even hire prostitutes to give men sex ? Men want the sex and the cooking and cleaning but they don’t want the women to get anything out of them and on top of it what about men that leave their wife’s to be single mothers ?
 

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Sounds like it's time to let him be single by serving divorce papers. He's out there looking for opinions that agree with his own so that he can justify really bad behavior for you and all women. That's a horrible environment for your kids. Sounds like there's not much benefit to this union.

It sounds like he's looking for a way to divorce you without having to divide everything equally with you and do his share of the responsibility.

You should probably go get your own attorney and get a jump on him. But one thing is if you have kids under age, remember that he is going to be unfair and dragging his feet financially on whatever happens. So the best way to go is 50/50 custody so that when he has the kids three and a half days a week he is totally responsible for them but does not have to pay you child support and that leaves you enough time to get a job and work and gives both of you equal chance to have your careers and have the other three and a half days off to do life. He's definitely going to try to screw you.
 

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He says that am wrong that women all are the same unless he goes to Mexico and looks for a poor Mexican girl who doesn’t care about materialistic things or money then he can trust that type of women
I'd suggest you tell your husband to go to Mexico and find some poor "girl" who is willing to be barefoot and pregnant while waiting on His Highness.

You? I'd suggest you visit an attorney next week in order to begin divorce proceedings. Why not do the humane and loving thing and allow your misogynistic husband to pursue his "dream girl"?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Wow!!! You all are for sure making see things more clearly. It’s true he is thinking of divorcing me and leave me without anything. We don’t got any children because he never wanted them . I feel angry but I also feel bad that I waisted all this years not knowing it would come to end up this way. He always says women won’t ever get any man because as we get older it’s harder for us to get another man because he says men want the young ones not old women . He says lots of men are thinking this way and now I feel like I can’t or ever will find anyone to genuinely love me. I do admit I have very bad low self esteem not trying to pitty myself but I am been open before I need advice on how to also pick myself up from this way that his made me feel. Thanks you alll
 

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well it's certainly a good thing he is informing you of all this critical societal information.

I'm sure he is a real prize and all these fine young women will just be falling all over themselves to get with him. How will he find the time to get with them all?
 

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Wow!!! You all are for sure making see things more clearly. It’s true he is thinking of divorcing me and leave me without anything. We don’t got any children because he never wanted them . I feel angry but I also feel bad that I waisted all this years not knowing it would come to end up this way. He always says women won’t ever get any man because as we get older it’s harder for us to get another man because he says men want the young ones not old women . He says lots of men are thinking this way and now I feel like I can’t or ever will find anyone to genuinely love me. I do admit I have very bad low self esteem not trying to pitty myself but I am been open before I need advice on how to also pick myself up from this way that his made me feel. Thanks you alll
I would ask after this do you really even want a man anyway? What you need to do is file papers get a divorce and walk away from this abuse. And don't be in a hurry to find someone else. If it happens it happens. With your esteem solo you will likely make a wrong choice out of desperation. You don't have any kids so you can get two jobs one full time and one on your days off and make a living for yourself and that will really help your self-esteem and not being under the foot of someone who's constantly running you down and abusing you like that.
 
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My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We are in a sexless marriage and he doesn’t want to have sex or go on dates or do anything. Lately this past months his been going on YouTube and has religiously been watching videos of this man that claims to say that we all women all want to take mens money and that that’s our only intention. He shared that this life coach for men is warning all men saying that they shouldn’t get married or give any women money . My husband as it is is controlling and does not give me no money whatsoever not even when he is not the one working for it. Now that he is watching this videos he is saying that men are starting to hate women because women are gold diggers and they will try to have kids just so that the man gives her child support. My response to him is that it’s not true not all women will try and take the money away from the husbands and not all women have bad intentions. He says that am wrong that women all are the same unless he goes to Mexico and looks for a poor Mexican girl who doesn’t care about materialistic things or money then he can trust that type of women . So my question is if us women are all the same and we are only out to get men then why the hell marry us or even hire prostitutes to give men sex ? Men want the sex and the cooking and cleaning but they don’t want the women to get anything out of them and on top of it what about men that leave their wife’s to be single mothers ?
Hmmm. I think he needs to take a testosterone test, an I Q. test and have divorce papers served on him.

Three simple steps should clear up a few issues because he isn't acting like a man (in and out of the bedroom), he's clearly easily led and probably not very smart and you can do better.

I've been with my wife for over 30 years and I didn't have to get a starving girl from Mexico. Sheesh! What a peach!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Does OP have two different accounts?
Wow!!! You all are for sure making see things more clearly. It’s true he is thinking of divorcing me and leave me without anything. We don’t got any children because he never wanted them . I feel angry but I also feel bad that I waisted all this years not knowing it would come to end up this way. He always says women won’t ever get any man because as we get older it’s harder for us to get another man because he says men want the young ones not old women . He says lots of men are thinking this way and now I feel like I can’t or ever will find anyone to genuinely love me. I do admit I have very bad low self esteem not trying to pitty myself but I am been open before I need advice on how to also pick myself up from this way that his made me feel. Thanks you alll
Hmmm. I think he needs to take a testosterone test, an I Q. test and have divorce papers served on him.

Three simple steps should clear up a few issues because he isn't acting like a man (in and out of the bedroom), he's clearly easily led and probably not very smart and you can do better.

I've been with my wife for over 30 years and I didn't have to get a starving girl from Mexico. Sheesh! What a peach!
Thanks for your feedback I am definitely going to start looking into a lawyer although he says he moved all the money we had in the bank and invested it into crypto and other investments like into some sort of CD that he says he can’t touch because it’s locked into the account and if there was a lawyer that no one can go after him because it won’t show he has anything I can go after. I don’t care to go work I done it all this years but I am mentioning all this because this are the comments his made . I am 37 and he is 39 and I have never tried going after him for anything or demanded him to give me anything either but this and more is the situation am in and just wanted to see other people opinions .
 

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Sex is the least of your concerns with this man.

That he's this way is on him.

That you're still with him is on you.

Do what you need to break free from him.

Go see an attorney, at least find out what your options are, you will most likely be surprised.

Good luck
 

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Thanks for your feedback I am definitely going to start looking into a lawyer although he says he moved all the money we had in the bank and invested it into crypto and other investments like into some sort of CD that he says he can’t touch because it’s locked into the account and if there was a lawyer that no one can go after him because it won’t show he has anything I can go after. I don’t care to go work I done it all this years but I am mentioning all this because this are the comments his made . I am 37 and he is 39 and I have never tried going after him for anything or demanded him to give me anything either but this and more is the situation am in and just wanted to see other people opinions .
Well I think if you are the one working the first thing you do is have your check deposited into your own account that doesn't have his name on it.

Second see a lawyer and look for his online names and passwords so you can acertain how much money he has syphoned off. Judges will still make rulings. Get bank account statements and such.
 

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You will probably have to find someone to borrow money from to pay an attorney to get involved but eventually you will get half of whatever you two own. It may be hard for you to get up enough money to get an attorney. You can check resources for legal aid and you might also check local women's shelter and see if they have any resources but if you have parents or someone you can borrow money from to just get the attorney started, do it. If not start working two jobs right now and putting all your money into paying the attorney ahead of time. If you put it in an account even in your own name that's still going to be half his as long as you're married to him and that's why you need to file divorce. That starts controlling the money while he's trying to hide it the best he can.
 
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🤔🤔🤔???
Sorry I'm confused, because the original post was by @Dmelendez2022 but now @Daniela2022 is answering.

Anyway, Your husband is a fool, but may be smart enough to hide money, etc. Definitely time to get your own bank account and start looking for a lawyer. You may be able to get a free consolation and some basic advice on where to start.

I'm curious, do you know who he is watching on Youtube?
 

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Wow!!! You all are for sure making see things more clearly. It’s true he is thinking of divorcing me and leave me without anything. We don’t got any children because he never wanted them . I feel angry but I also feel bad that I waisted all this years not knowing it would come to end up this way. He always says women won’t ever get any man because as we get older it’s harder for us to get another man because he says men want the young ones not old women . He says lots of men are thinking this way and now I feel like I can’t or ever will find anyone to genuinely love me. I do admit I have very bad low self esteem not trying to pitty myself but I am been open before I need advice on how to also pick myself up from this way that his made me feel. Thanks you alll
"...lots of men are thinking this way..."? Maybe in his bubble.
 

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My husband as it is is controlling and does not give me no money whatsoever not even when he is not the one working for it.
This sounds like you have a job. Is that right?
Does your husband have a job? From what you wrote it sounds like he does not earn money. Is this correct?

So, you have a husband who is controlling of the finances. Do you have any access to money? Or does he control it all?

It sadly funny that he's going on about women just wanting to take men for their money and here he is going this very thing to you. The next time he goes off on a rant about women like that, you might want to point out to him that he should look in the mirror because he's talking about himself.

As others have said, you should open a bank account in your name only and put your own income into that account. Just keep good records so that you can show in the divorce that you did not rip him off.

Now it sounds like he has ripped you off. You need to find out everything you can about where he's moved the money to. In a community property state any asset and/or income earned during the marriage is community property. You are entitled to 50% of everything. Look through any papers, etc to find out what he's been up to and where he's moved your money. Get as much info as you can.

Do the two of you own your home? If so, you are entitled to 50% of the equity.

When I divorced my son's father, found a stash of bank records that I did not know about. They showed him moving large sums of money into an account in his mother's name. I was the only one working because he was in medical school, and I was supporting him. He was ripping me off and his mother was helping him. In court I argued that I should get 100% of the house we owned. When my ex tried to argue against that with the judge, I put the pile of checks and bank records on the table and explained that they showed how he moved a huge sum of money into his mother's name to hide it from me. I also told him that if he wanted to fight me about me getting the house free and clear, that since he was also paying his mother's mortgage and his name was on the deed for her home, I would ask the judge to force the sale of her home so I could get 25% of the equity in her home. (I had no intent to do that but just used it to give him incentive to settle. I would have never thrown her out of her home.)

I got the house free and clear. I did not purse looking for and accounting for all the money he moved to hide from me because while I now what he put in the account in his mother's name there was evidence that he moved other funds elsewhere and I had no complete record of it. He was pretty pissed off. Oh well... :D
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
This sounds like you have a job. Is that right?
Does your husband have a job? From what you wrote it sounds like he does not earn money. Is this correct?

So, you have a husband who is controlling of the finances. Do you have any access to money? Or does he control it all?

It sadly funny that he's going on about women just wanting to take men for their money and here he is going this very thing to you. The next time he goes off on a rant about women like that, you might want to point out to him that he should look in the mirror because he's talking about himself.

As others have said, you should open a bank account in your name only and put your own income into that account. Just keep good records so that you can show in the divorce that you did not rip him off.

Now it sounds like he has ripped you off. You need to find out everything you can about where he's moved the money to. In a community property state any asset and/or income earned during the marriage is community property. You are entitled to 50% of everything. Look through any papers, etc to find out what he's been up to and where he's moved your money. Get as much info as you can.

Do the two of you own your home? If so, you are entitled to 50% of the equity.

When I divorced my son's father, found a stash of bank records that I did not know about. They showed him moving large sums of money into an account in his mother's name. I was the only one working because he was in medical school, and I was supporting him. He was ripping me off and his mother was helping him. In court I argued that I should get 100% of the house we owned. When my ex tried to argue against that with the judge, I put the pile of checks and bank records on the table and explained that they showed how he moved a huge sum of money into his mother's name to hide it from me. I also told him that if he wanted to fight me about me getting the house free and clear, that since he was also paying his mother's mortgage and his name was on the deed for her home, I would ask the judge to force the sale of her home so I could get 25% of the equity in her home. (I had no intent to do that but just used it to give him incentive to settle. I would have never thrown her out of her home.)

I got the house free and clear. I did not purse looking for and accounting for all the money he moved to hide from me because while I now what he put in the account in his mother's name there was evidence that he moved other funds elsewhere and I had no complete record of it. He was pretty pissed off. Oh well... :D
He doesn’t work his been unemployed for 4 years am the one that has been working all this time and taking care of him and everything in the home. The home is under his moms name and his and I am only 1/4 owner of it but it’s not paid off yet since we only had this home for about 3 years. His mom has homes in California and other investments but she’s made a mention to him she set it all up so when she passes I will not ever have a chance to take anything from him. His mom only says that because she’s never liked me since day one and he is the only son. He has put all the money I earned into this certain accounts but since there all online and I don’t even know the password to his computer or anything I won’t ever have access to it. I will be speaking to a lawyer and after reading ur story am glad that u were able to go after ur husband for what he did to you . Thanks for sharing and thanks for ur input
 
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