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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello first time posting but in need of some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. A year ag we decided to move in together. Shortly thereafter I got laid off from work and was unemployment. Which helped with bills but not as much as I would have liked. I am working nowadays and were almost caught up. Anyways last few months she has been going back and forth on us. One day shes in love the next she says tgere'd no passion and my fire and ambition seems to have burnt out. Which I had been really stressed. Last night she drops things on me that she loves me but not in love and feels like Im a dear friend. We still have an active sex life. She told me last night she would like me to move out. I agreed and said I would save up money for my own place. I dont want that and she knows it. Its been a tough relationship and passion and romance has always been difficult. Not because I dont try but because she has a different idea of love and romance than normal. I also suspect shes bi polar or borderline from things I read anyways my question is is there anyway I can save this? I dont think shes going to help out with us though.

Sorry for any punctuation or spelling errors typing from my phone on a small screen.
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Under the best of circumstances it is very hard to recover from being a "dear friend" and this is not the best of circumstances. Since you are not married and do not have children together, she has no reason to work with you in this effort. She lost respect for you when you lost your job and it is hard to love someone that you do not respect. Although the odds are not in your favor, the best chance at saving this is for you to move out quickly (before you look weak) and move on. Be strong, focus on bettering yourself for you, and go on with life without her. Do not accept the dear friend roll and disengage; seeing her as a friend will make it easy for her not to miss you and will burn you into her mind as just a friend. If you do this, there is a chance that she will regain respect for you and miss you. BTW, there is a real chance that there is someone else that has entered her life, in which case your odds are lower.

Good luck, sorry that you are here.
 

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I assume you are young so you have a lot of time to move on and find someone else. Not that it's easy and not that it won't initially hurt, but it sounds like she has made the decision for you.

Get out as soon as possible since hanging around will just make it tougher for both of you.
 

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Have to agree here. Its awful to have to meet the dear friend statement but if you stay in a relationship like this youll be come just a friend then an aquaintance, then nothing. You state your GF maybe Bi Polar, Unless sure dont even keep this thought in mind. She seems to have you as a bed buddy (cleaned that phrase up) If that is athe case sooner or later she will find anotehr male to meet the need and drop you like a red hot coal. You appear young enough to move on. It may be better to do just that and take anything you own out of the relartionship asap.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks all for your replies. My plan is to move out asap and cut contact. She knows I dont have a desire to be friends. I was just hoping there was something I could to avoid all this
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