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Social media post caused a few “issues” with the church ladies in our parish. That is only reason I wish I had not Conan. I was hellbent on D at the period of time and in a rage. I got tired of their ****ty attitude towards my wife while we were in early phases of R, so i recommended we switched parishes. Wife just kept taking the snootiness, me I got tired of it, so I told her we were leaving for another parish. I miss my old one, but we have made some really good new friends at the small church we are members of now. I still talk to my old pastor periodically to see how he is doing.

POSOM is still married at this time. I guess his wife forgave him as they have younger children. Ol’ Richard Cranium, I will refer to POSOM as, knows better than to ever be in my proximity again. I cant elaborate more due to legal issues, but his ass is in a crack if he comes near me or my wife again.
 

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Social media post caused a few “issues” with the church ladies in our parish. That is only reason I wish I had not Conan. I was hellbent on D at the period of time and in a rage. I got tired of their ****ty attitude towards my wife while we were in early phases of R, so i recommended we switched parishes. Wife just kept taking the snootiness, me I got tired of it, so I told her we were leaving for another parish. I miss my old one, but we have made some really good new friends at the small church we are members of now. I still talk to my old pastor periodically to see how he is doing.

POSOM is still married at this time. I guess his wife forgave him as they have younger children. Ol’ Richard Cranium, I will refer to POSOM as, knows better than to ever be in my proximity again. I cant elaborate more due to legal issues, but his ass is in a crack if he comes near me or my wife again.
This is where I get confused. The snootiness was well deserved. YOUR wife deserved it.

I get starting in a new church, but I don't get being concerned for her feelings about that particular subject.

I just don't. She got exactly what she deserved. Sorry to say, and no offense.

The thing about the other man, I did what you are thinking, and it is not worth it. And with your skill set it could go wrong in a heart beat.

I know you understand that...
 

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Discussion Starter #43
This is where I get confused. The snootiness was well deserved. YOUR wife deserved it.

I get starting in a new church, but I don't get being concerned for her feelings about that particular subject.

I just don't. She got exactly what she deserved. Sorry to say, and no offense.

The thing about the other man, I did what you are thinking, and it is not worth it. And with your skill set it could go wrong in a heart beat.

I know you understand that...
Indeed. I realize it and so did she, but sooner or later people need to let it go. Wife fully realized she brought the scorn on herself. I forgave, but these women were something else. No one is perfect. The older I get, the less I find myself judging folks.

As for POSOM I realize it could go wrong in heartbeat, he did too about two years ago when he accosted me in our local Applebees bar under the guise of wanting to apologize. I was well aware he was baiting me to knock the hell out of him. I took his hand squeezed the **** out of it, pulled him into me and with my teeth gritted told him in no uncertain terms he would wind up in a bodybag If he did not steer clear of me. My wife was scared as hell I was going to send him to meet his Maker. However, I let my cousin who is a scorched earth attorney deal with him all I can say. He will not bother us in the future if he is smart.
 

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I didn't want our home to feel like her home anymore. My wife was out of the house for a few days to give me space and I wanted her to walk into the house and realize that it was no longer her home and that she wasn't welcome.

I changed the code for all of the door locks and took her phone off so it wouldn't unlock automatically (she could use her key to get in but would have freaked out at for a second). I unscrewed her hook from the key rack. I took down all of her decorations and small, decorative things/keepsakes that were hers. She had a shag rug that she loved but I hated it and put it at the curb, along with her million throw pillows from the bedroom and living room, and our wedding canvas. There is still an empty spot on the wall where that used to hang. I took down all of our wedding pictures, couple (no kids in them) pictures, pulled out the photo albums, and put them in the recycling bin so that she'd see them when she came home. I changed the wifi password and didn't tell her what it was. She is super picky about bedding, I left her with the sheets and blankets that she hated. I threw all of her stuff from the master bedroom/bathroom into a box and dumped that in the spare room. Things that weren't dumped at the curb went into garbage bags and were put in the garage.

I spent months exploding with rage and did a lot of things I regret, but that move made me feel slightly better. Thinking about it now... still kinda does.
 

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Indeed. I realize it and so did she, but sooner or later people need to let it go. Wife fully realized she brought the scorn on herself. I forgave, but these women were something else. No one is perfect. The older I get, the less I find myself judging folks.

As for POSOM I realize it could go wrong in heartbeat, he did too about two years ago when he accosted me in our local Applebees bar under the guise of wanting to apologize. I was well aware he was baiting me to knock the hell out of him. I took his hand squeezed the **** out of it, pulled him into me and with my teeth gritted told him in no uncertain terms he would wind up in a bodybag If he did not steer clear of me. My wife was scared as hell I was going to send him to meet his Maker. However, I let my cousin who is a scorched earth attorney deal with him all I can say. He will not bother us in the future if he is smart.
😂😂😂😂😂 Classic one liner
 

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Discussion Starter #46
Colin Grant, my guardian angel was looking out for me. I still to this day do not understand how I was able to have the ability to restrain myself from giving him a solid beat down That night or the night I crashed my wife’s company’s open house the night I busted her on 11/11/15 and they were standing next to each other, someone upstairs had my back.

Had this occurred 20 years ago he would have assumed room temperature after I was through with him. I guess as I have aged, my common sense kicked in.

Now days I follow James 1:19 “be quick to think, slow to speak, and slow to anger”. As I will be 58 June 18th, I still can do some damage physically as what I was taught in hand to hand training cannot be unlearned. My son was picked on by a bully when he was in the eight grade I showed him three things to do if he was attacked again: first stike the nose hard with the palm, second strike at the throat, thirdly disable the hands.

He was again bullied, followed dad’s instructions, kicked the kids ass, and the nun that was his principal wanted to suspend him. Needless to say, ol dad set Sister Penguin straight.
 

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A couple of days after DDay, I went by my house while my FWW was gone, took and heirloom 100 + year old bed to my farm , at night I built a bon fire tossed the bed into the flames and took a photo and a video while I sang a line from a George Strait song “Just Give It Away”....that old four poster bed where all that love was made ...just give it away...LOL. Sent photo and video to FWW. Needless to say I drove home my point...although now looking back I wish I hadn’t ..Oh well. It worked.
My wife is afraid of the dark. Afraid of swamps. Afraid of any place that can have creepy crawlies that she can't see.

I grew up in poverty and spent half my time in the Santa Fe Swamp in Florida. For a couple years, I lived there outright, out in the middle of nowhere.

In our case, my wife had a drunken one night stand while I was on CQ and told me the very next morning.

Up to that point, she ignored most of what I said and generally did not trust me. Mostly because of her past.

After she offered to give me anything I wanted in a divorce, I asked her if she wanted to stay married. She said she did. I had never been able to get her to venture out into swampy areas with me before, so I gave her an option: either go out into one with me, in the middle of the night, or we are done and I'll move on.

It was terrifying for her. She couldn't see anything and had no idea how to move in a swamp, let alone at night. I refused to use a light source, so she couldn't see either. If she wanted to stay married to me, she would have to follow me into the swamp and trust me to get her back out safely. She would have nobody to rely on once she was out there, just me. She would have to trust that I wouldn't just ghost her and leave her lost in the wilderness.

It wasn't the sex, or the relationship, that bothered me. It was the fact that she wouldn't listen to me not trust me at the time. In order to reconcile, I needed to know that she was willing to trust me. Funny how that works... She should be the one earning my trust, right? The problem was her past... She suffered sexual abuse from her father and was repeatedly raped by a couple men later on in life, before she met me. The last one beat her so bad that he shattered the bones in her face and left her with a pretty severe traumatic brain injury.

I didn't want to be married to someone who refused to face the world, to face her fears. I wanted a partner who would step out into the world by my side, regardless of how terrifying it can be.

The trek through the swamp took about 8 hours. For most of it, she followed me blind.
 

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If your wife does. Ot like swamps and creepiest crawlies....she would not like Parris lol.
Lol, she has since followed me into all kinds of craziness.

I know it wasn't exactly rage that I displayed when she had her ONS, but it was definitely something I was adamant about. I would have divorced her had she refused. I had already consulted lawyers about it.

I guess it worked out though. She has stuck with me through Iraq, Afghanistan, Somali civil war, and a few other... Incidents.

Being bi and polyamorous, she has had boyfriends and girlfriends since then, but she has always kept me informed and made sure I was on board. And to be honest, with how much I am gone, it is actually kind of a relief to know that she has someone to lean on when I am gone. I wasn't sure if I would even make it this far... a lot of my friends haven't. But she is still here. And I keep coming back home.

She is my best friend. We have been through a lot together.
 

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After I burned our bed, i was temporarily satisfied went to bed for the evening. However, I woke up the next morning and was still pissed to the max. I called on POSOMs wife. Let her know what I had discovered.she was super angry when I left. Went back to the farm grabbed my trusty iPad, went on Facebook, changed my marital status to single, unfriended wife, exposed via Facebook that wife had a boyfriend. Called all of her siblings, my siblings, my adult children, and close friends.

Shortly thereafter, my phone was blown up with calls and texts. She was freaking out as she was extremely worried about her reputation. I did not answer her calls, only texted back once...”She who does not wish to be *ed with does not * over!”......Point NLLH. However, it was a hollow temporary victory in my mind. The next day I regretted the Facebook exposure, and closed my account. Left for our place in Naples for five weeks.

Looking back, all of this I think opened her eyes to damage she did. Her brothers and sister let her have it not to mention my MIL who speaks her mind still at 91 and she was 86 on DDay.

I guess my tactics worked...going on 4 years 4 months of R. Life is good.
I wanted to blast on social media, but I restrained myself and went quietly. My MIL suffered a shock and a small stroke when the ex told her what he'd done and that I knew. I went to the ER, and she was cool as a cucumber, his other family that was there pretended to not know and looked me in the face.

I hope R has been all you hope it to be, good luck!

Let just say she spent some time in jail for the choices she made
Wow, ok. I half expected my ex to be eventually pulled over for drunk driving. He'd been guzzling those 2L bottles of vodka to "cope" for God knows how long to keep up the double lives.
 

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My wife is afraid of the dark. Afraid of swamps. Afraid of any place that can have creepy crawlies that she can't see.

I grew up in poverty and spent half my time in the Santa Fe Swamp in Florida. For a couple years, I lived there outright, out in the middle of nowhere.

In our case, my wife had a drunken one night stand while I was on CQ and told me the very next morning.

Up to that point, she ignored most of what I said and generally did not trust me. Mostly because of her past.

After she offered to give me anything I wanted in a divorce, I asked her if she wanted to stay married. She said she did. I had never been able to get her to venture out into swampy areas with me before, so I gave her an option: either go out into one with me, in the middle of the night, or we are done and I'll move on.

It was terrifying for her. She couldn't see anything and had no idea how to move in a swamp, let alone at night. I refused to use a light source, so she couldn't see either. If she wanted to stay married to me, she would have to follow me into the swamp and trust me to get her back out safely. She would have nobody to rely on once she was out there, just me. She would have to trust that I wouldn't just ghost her and leave her lost in the wilderness.

It wasn't the sex, or the relationship, that bothered me. It was the fact that she wouldn't listen to me not trust me at the time. In order to reconcile, I needed to know that she was willing to trust me. Funny how that works... She should be the one earning my trust, right? The problem was her past... She suffered sexual abuse from her father and was repeatedly raped by a couple men later on in life, before she met me. The last one beat her so bad that he shattered the bones in her face and left her with a pretty severe traumatic brain injury.

I didn't want to be married to someone who refused to face the world, to face her fears. I wanted a partner who would step out into the world by my side, regardless of how terrifying it can be.

The trek through the swamp took about 8 hours. For most of it, she followed me blind.
Awesome story and this is why company's frequently go on retreats, which is to develop emotional characteristics that have nothing to do with business or technology, but simple collaborative skills that require, trust and dependability. Brilliant of you to think this up.
 

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I know what you mean. I don't have kids, but I went back to school, and am still working on unpacking and setting the house in order.

What karma hit him? I haven't heard/or asked a thing about what's going on my ex's life, I just wanted to get clear.



Wow, you two went out to lunch! You're good, yes girl. I went to court with my lawyer, as we'd already finalized in mediation, spent 5 minutes in front of the judge and that was it. He wasn't on social media, but as soon as his family dropped me, I removed all of them from social media.




Good! That was NASTY and they deserved to get steamrolled by karma.
We lived in different states at the time. So we hadn’t seen each other in over a year, rarely talked. There was so much that wasn’t finished and talked about so I thought it was best for me to finally and officially say my goodbyes.
It was an incredibly sad and powerful moment. He cried the whole time. Regretted the whole divorce but he knew it was too late. There were no words left, it was really sad.
 

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As it pertains to karma, I've seen the POSOM (doctor) pretty much lose everything. Suspended from practicing medicine, arrested for assault and publicly shamed in the process, and last we heard- moved back to his home state to try to start over.

All because he finally screwed around with the wrong folks. Haven't heard anything about him in months, and don't care one bit...but man this was sweeter than any punch to the gut I could've given him, and he did it all to himself.
 

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We lived in different states at the time. So we hadn’t seen each other in over a year, rarely talked. There was so much that wasn’t finished and talked about so I thought it was best for me to finally and officially say my goodbyes.
It was an incredibly sad and powerful moment. He cried the whole time. Regretted the whole divorce but he knew it was too late. There were no words left, it was really sad.
I think you are so much nicer of a person than I am. Good for you.

I actually have to talk to mine until we get some old tax stuff finished. It is like some type of torture for me to actually hear her voice. It just makes me ill to have to see of talk to her.

Not that I care, I just want for her to fade in the back ground and go away for ever...
 

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Social media post caused a few “issues” with the church ladies in our parish. That is only reason I wish I had not Conan. I was hellbent on D at the period of time and in a rage. I got tired of their ****ty attitude towards my wife while we were in early phases of R, so i recommended we switched parishes. Wife just kept taking the snootiness, me I got tired of it, so I told her we were leaving for another parish. I miss my old one, but we have made some really good new friends at the small church we are members of now. I still talk to my old pastor periodically to see how he is doing.

POSOM is still married at this time. I guess his wife forgave him as they have younger children. Ol’ Richard Cranium, I will refer to POSOM as, knows better than to ever be in my proximity again. I cant elaborate more due to legal issues, but his ass is in a crack if he comes near me or my wife again.
All part of the cost of what she did and I don't think it was such a high price to pay.

I know one couple that changed everything to reconcile. He quit a very lucrative career and moved his entire family to a different state. He was a security guard making peanuts but they were together and apparently happy.

Social destruction is reasonable to me. RC needs some pain socially, for his involvement as well.

I hope and pray you fully conquer and dominate your situation. There is still a lack of equity and equilibrium in your heart and that isn't health.

I'm not surprised because of the level of bull **** that was inflicted on you and some of the ways you have dealt with it.

There is a split in you with one side being very tender and protective of your wife and the other that is still wounded and needing something or things to make you whole.

I pray you find a way to become the master of your situation and life again.
 

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Discussion Starter #56
Very accurate assessment to a degree sir. I am fine mentally for first time in years, wife is treating me extremely well. I no longer trigger often. I feel I am in control living not existing. Life is good. God is good
 

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I think you are so much nicer of a person than I am. Good for you.

I actually have to talk to mine until we get some old tax stuff finished. It is like some type of torture for me to actually hear her voice. It just makes me ill to have to see of talk to her.

Not that I care, I just want for her to fade in the back ground and go away for ever...
Well I’m not as strong as you.
The truth is, I don’t talk to him or have his social media accounts because of what it would do to me. It would kill me and torture me.

He still tries to contact me even though he’s blocked. It’s been 1.5 years Of not talking or seeing each other, and he keeps emailing me and the other day he texted my brother to ask about me.
I’ve never responded, and my family knows not to talk to him either. He’s making it hard for me to forget him.
 

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Well I’m not as strong as you.
The truth is, I don’t talk to him or have his social media accounts because of what it would do to me. It would kill me and torture me.

He still tries to contact me even though he’s blocked. It’s been 1.5 years Of not talking or seeing each other, and he keeps emailing me and the other day he texted my brother to ask about me.
I’ve never responded, and my family knows not to talk to him either. He’s making it hard for me to forget him.
I'm sorry. Does your family ignore him as well? It would not hurt to ask them to block him as well.

Over time, you will feel less and less, I promise.

I don't know how strong I am, I was stupid enough to stay marred to her for 26 years... What a complete moron.

It was a kind of hell that I hope no one ever goes through, although I am sure that people go through worse.

Stay strong....
 

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I'm sorry. Does your family ignore him as well? It would not hurt to ask them to block him as well.

Over time, you will feel less and less, I promise.

I don't know how strong I am, I was stupid enough to stay marred to her for 26 years... What a complete moron.

It was a kind of hell that I hope no one ever goes through, although I am sure that people go through worse.

Stay strong....
Yea no one responds to him.
 

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Discussion Starter #60
Conan, did not read your initial quote accurately (no cheaters on to see) prior to my response. Still wounded, I would say not severely anymore, but let’s call it minimal. I am light years from where I was four plus years ago. Carpe diem is my axiom towards life at the moment. Life is good.

i just got off the phone with one of my best pals From the Corps who I refer to as “captain” long story but one day captain went from E-4 to O-3 self promotion. I will call it. Long story but thankfully he was never discovered.

He reminded me of when I and a few buddies was arrested for beating the hell of of some guys who jumped us when I was a Pendelton and went into LA on leave. We had to go to court, and we put on our finest, ”borrowed“ medals from some fellows for our court appearance. The judge looked at us all “highly decorated“ fellows and dismissed our case. We were pulling those medals of as fast as we could as we exited the court house. Point being Marines take care of Marines.

Very accurate assessment to a degree sir. I am fine mentally for first time in years, wife is treating me extremely well. I no longer trigger often. I feel I am in control living not existing. Life is good. God is good

As I type this I have a smile on my face a mile wide. Good times. I have had a wonderful life despite it all. Conan, something tells me you would have made a fine Marine.
 
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