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I can’t imagine raising an affair child. That has to be so difficult. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through. People suck.
It is difficult. It's a lot easier now though. The hardest things for me were having to "co-parent" with an AP and seeing him/his features when I looked at my daughter.

The sperm donor no longer has parental rights, is out of the picture for the most part, and I adopted my daughter so legally she's mine and no different than my other kids.

And having a biological daughter helped a lot. I thought my oldest daughter had her sperm donors eyes but my 11 month old has the exact same ice blue eye color. So the color didn't necessarily come from him and her eyes aren't a reminder of him anymore.
 

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What surprised me was that I truly didn't care whatsoever and wasn't surprised. I was already going to leave, so it just made the decisions easier.
 
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My H started months ago maybe longer, I’m not sure. They both apparently met on some forum complaining about their spouses, decided to divorce their spouses, at the exact time. Both encouraging the other to “taste the sweetness of freedom”. I think they’ll last, as they seem to share very disturbing traits.
Well, they’re both cheaters, and one or the other will always wonder …will he/she cheat on me? :rolleyes:

That’s the irony when these things happen but I hope you are doing okay.
 

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Well, they’re both cheaters, and one or the other will always wonder …will he/she cheat on me? :rolleyes:

That’s the irony when these things happen but I hope you are doing okay.
I’m finally moved out and into my new place with my kids. We started a 2 day rotation with our 6 yr old. I had to to take over paying all of the bills as he refused. But I am ok, thank you for asking. Next week, we start the one week off and one week on and I hope at 6 our son will be able to cope with not seeing the other parent. He’s being served this week, finally.
 

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the dude is a foot shorter than me, 50 pounds overweight and a receding hairline (I REALLY took offense to this). And lastly, it was finding TAM and putting together a game plan that allowed me to find out important information like my ex having a credit card I knew nothing about, that she was seeing the other animal during a ½ hour window after school and sometimes during the weekend for an hour at a time
So, that's like saying "I knew that our marriage wasn't safe with you around handsome guys. Now I know that our marriage wasn't safe either with you around ugly guys!"
 

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We had the best night of our lives. The very next day I did a 180° turn and removed myself from any contact with her and two days after that I served her the divorce papers.

Although if felt good at first to dunk on het face, I haven’t been able to shake off the disappointment. Meaning it wasn’t the “victory” I thought it was going to be.

I guess it’ll take time.
Because it wasn't the best night of your life. I can't imagine what is essentially revenge sex would ever, or should ever, be the best night of your life. It represents a complete separation of sexuality and intimacy from marriage; all action and no long-term substance. That doesn't sound like something that can work in a relationship long-term.

You were basically dumbing sex down to her level. And that level was unacceptable in your marriage. Looking forward to a lifetime of empty sex... well, sure, but... just no.
 

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My wife married her HS BF at 17 and over 10 yrs he cheated at least 3 times. He had a band and groupies. She finally got proof and just walked away. She wanted nothing more to do with him. Left her cattle, house was double wide he let for close, all his band equipment, she bought. She just left. Said it was fact family/friends knew and never said a word. She rarely speaks to her mom/dad now.

Met me 4 mo later, about this time 26 yrs ago. Divorce final Oct 10, married May 10 next year. I showed her what love and fidelity was all about. She said she never knew what love was until me.
 

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Does this mean that she was working as a prostitute?
I don't think she was working as an actual prostitute, I think she was just playing the damsel in distress card some ladies often do. It's pretty easy for even an unattractive woman to get various men to do favors for her if she wants. She had a guy friend that worked on cars for a living so he fixed her old beater for her for free. I know she scammed some other idiot out of thousands of dollars too. People still tell me things about her because we know a lot of the same people and I heard that guy still talks to her even though she almost cleaned him out. He's a slow learner.
 

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It is difficult. It's a lot easier now though. The hardest things for me were having to "co-parent" with an AP and seeing him/his features when I looked at my daughter.

The sperm donor no longer has parental rights, is out of the picture for the most part, and I adopted my daughter so legally she's mine and no different than my other kids.

And having a biological daughter helped a lot. I thought my oldest daughter had her sperm donors eyes but my 11 month old has the exact same ice blue eye color. So the color didn't necessarily come from him and her eyes aren't a reminder of him anymore.
Two of my kids have slate blue eyes.
 

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It is a little encouragement that if both parents have blue eyes, short of genetic mutation in the child, the child will have blue eyes also. Wife and I both have blue, if one of my two kids had another color, I would have raised an eye brow to that.
My kid that has two redheaded biological parents, from totally redheaded families, doesn't have red hair. She was born with red hair but it quickly changed. Pretty sure two redheads makes a redhead, usually. Genetics are weird.
 

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It is a little encouragement that if both parents have blue eyes, short of genetic mutation in the child, the child will have blue eyes also. Wife and I both have blue, if one of my two kids had another color, I would have raised an eye brow to that.
I'm not sure of that science. My wife and I both have green / hazel eyes and both my daughters have blue eyes
 

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I'm not sure of that science. My wife and I both have green / hazel eyes and both my daughters have blue eyes
Blue is recessive, so you have to have a recessive eye color trait from both parents to have blue eyes. Green or brown eye traits are dominant, if you get green from mom and blue from dad, you have green eyes.

Same with red hair, if both parents have red hair, the can only pass on a recessive red hair trait. All kids, unless they have a genetic mutation, will have red hair.
 

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Mine was seeing the gf do exactly what my ex prior had done, cheat with what I thought was my best friend at the time. Went I met her and told her what I had just got out of, she said what a w***e, how could anyone do that...

Then 8 years later she does the same thing, with a different "friend" obviously. This guy was/is a bum, I friended him through work because I felt bad for him. No friends, no money, nothing.

He ends up getting married and has a first child on the way, is an alcoholic, his wife cried to us about how worthless he had become, begged is to help him... actually said she wished he was more like me. I was the best man in his their wedding.

All of that and my gf ends up screwing the guy. And I'm thinking, you see how miserable his wife is, he's everything you said you hated, the drinking, the worthlessness,etc...

He actually tried to get her to run away with him...said he didn't care about his unborn child. That makes me sick knowing that the woman I cared for, a mother of 2, was okay letting this guy have sex with her after saying that...
 

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An old girlfriend.
We'd spent the day together, after which she told me with bright excited eyes, that she had some great news she'd been wanting to tell me; she'd met a guy who she was quite smitten by, was going to go see him that night. I think it changed me forever, she killed the 'nice guy' in me that day.
 
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