[oldshirt]

Spin off from another thread where the OP was kind of shocked that her separated H was going to meet some other woman after bedding her for the last several months.

Monkey Branching is thing and many people seemingly go from one relationship into the other. It is usually considered a female trait but men can appear to monkey swing too but I think the mechanics are typically somewhat different between the girls and the boys.

What are some of your firsthand experiences with monkey branching whether you were the one that swung from one relationship right into the next or whether you had a former partner that was declaring their love and devotion to you one day to packing bags and moving in with their next partner within days.

I personally have had a few different LTR GFs swear love and devotion and were always game suddenly go cold and within a few days gave me the ILYBNILWY and then within another day or two were hot and heavy with someone else.

One swore her love while I was staying at her house for a few weeks before I could move into another apartment and one night she got home from work around 3 am (she worked evening shift until 11pm) smelling of beer and cigarettes. The next day she said she and some girls from work had a GNO and met some other girlfriends at the bar. The next night, the same thing. The next night the same etc.

Then basically radio silence.

i moved into my apartment a few days later and she would return my calls but was always "busy" and always going out with the girls.

Finally I assumed there was another dude and confronted her. She denied adamantly that she was seeing another man but then said she was going to be moving in with this GF of her work friend. ..... I think you can see where this is going...

Yup, she gave me the boot and moved in with this other woman within a week or so.

She not only monkey branched away from me, she swung to the whole other side of the fence within a matter of days.

She was only with that particular woman for awhile but has lived openly as a lesbian ever since.

I can go on with others but I want to hear about your experiences. Do you have a monkey branch as either the brancher or the branchee that you'd like to share?

 

[Openminded]

Not sure if this would qualify but it’s my only experience with something similar. My ex-husband didn’t want a divorce. He was very content to have both a wife and a gf. Why not. When I told him I was divorcing him, he fought hard to convince me to change my mind because … love, devotion, everything, blah, blah, blah. When I refused to reconsider, he found a new gf five minutes later and then he was madly in love with her five minutes after meeting her and then he married her the moment the divorce decree was signed. He had only known her a few months at that point but apparently he couldn’t handle the idea of not being married. Or something. Who knows.

 

[oldshirt]

Not sure if this would qualify but it’s my only experience with something similar. My ex-husband didn’t want a divorce. He was very content to have both a wife and a gf. Why not. When I told him I was divorcing him, he fought hard to convince me to change my mind because … love, devotion, everything, blah, blah, blah. When I refused to reconsider, he found a new gf five minutes later and then he was madly in love with her five minutes after meeting her and then he married her the moment the divorce decree was signed. He had only known her a few months at that point but apparently he couldn’t handle the idea of not being married. Or something. Who knows.

I’d say that counts.

 

[Personal]

I'm not sure if mine qualifies either, yet my wife was in an ongoing sexual relationship with another man, when she asked me out on our first date. Following us frequently sharing lunch together at work, for a couple of weeks at her request.

 

[Girl_power]

Gender doesn’t matter. There are people who do not like to be alone. So if they are unhappy in their relationship but don’t want to be alone, they meet other potential people behind their partners back and when it’s safe to leave (a guaranteed next partner), they do.

Some people are black and white, they are happy or unhappy in a relationship. A lot of people are gray. Things could be better, they could be worse, I can make a life with this person if I HAVE to and no one better comes alone. That type of thing.

 

[Girl_power]

I don’t have any experience with monkey branching, but I have to say that I love it when my guy friends/ ex boyfriends that’s are now friends stop talking to me out of respect for their girlfriends. I love it. I find it such good character. And I always think to myself what a lucky girl his girlfriend is.

 

[Diana7]

Not sure if this would qualify but it’s my only experience with something similar. My ex-husband didn’t want a divorce. He was very content to have both a wife and a gf. Why not. When I told him I was divorcing him, he fought hard to convince me to change my mind because … love, devotion, everything, blah, blah, blah. When I refused to reconsider, he found a new gf five minutes later and then he was madly in love with her five minutes after meeting her and then he married her the moment the divorce decree was signed. He had only known her a few months at that point but apparently he couldn’t handle the idea of not being married. Or something. Who knows.

I do think that many men struggle with the idea of being on their own. I know SO many men who were either divorced or widowed who jumped SO fast into a new relationship and marriage, but I hardly know of any women who did that. I believe that women cope far better with being on their own, even caring for children as well most of the time.

 

[Girl_power]

I do think that many men struggle with the idea of being on their own. I know SO many men who were either divorced or widowed who jumped SO fast into a new relationship and marriage, but I hardly know of any women who did that. I believe that women cope far better with being on their own, even caring for children as well most of the time.

I agree. And I think the women who jump quickly are the ones who want kids so there is pressure to do so.

 

[oldshirt]

I do think that many men struggle with the idea of being on their own. I know SO many men who were either divorced or widowed who jumped SO fast into a new relationship and marriage, but I hardly know of any women who did that. I believe that women cope far better with being on their own, even caring for children as well most of the time.

I think divorces and widowed are separate catagories.

In those cases everyone knows the relationship has ended or is at least coming to an end.

I’m talking about someone seemingly invested in a relationship and perhaps even swearing their love and devotion on Tuesday, then hot and heavy in another relationship by that weekend.

 

[oldshirt]

I agree. And I think the women who jump quickly are the ones who want kids so there is pressure to do so.

When you say ‘jumping quickly’ are you referring to getting back into another relationship after one has ended, or are you referring to being in one relationship Friday afternoon but in another relationship by Saturday night?

This is all kind of a matter of degrees and semantics to a certain degree but a true monkey swing is being seemingly invested in one relationship one day and then being in another relationship the next.

 

[Girl_power]

I think divorces and widowed are separate catagories.

In those cases everyone knows the relationship has ended or is at least coming to an end.

I’m talking about someone seemingly invested in a relationship and perhaps even swearing their love and devotion on Tuesday, then hot and heavy in another relationship by that weekend.

Monkey branching is when someone basically starts another relationship, or secures another relationship before leaving their current relationship.

 

[oldshirt]

Let me give another example: My first love and real GF in my youth had been hot and heavy for almost a year (which is a lifetime when you are 18/19)

One weekend I did feel a disturbance in The Force and I came right out and asked her if things were ok or if there was some kind of issue.

She swore up and down that we were good and that she was stressed with work, family issues blah blah blah but that we were good and there was no one else and that we were solid as a couple yadda yadda yadda.

All was well the next few days but on a Wed or Thurs she called my MOM (she didn’t call me but called my mom) and told her that she would be out of town and not available that weekend.

Well she was out of town alright. She spent the weekend with another dude and now they were together and I last week’s news.

I got the, “sorry but I am seeing someone else now” speech when she got back Sunday.

That is a monkey swing.

 

[oldshirt]

Monkey branching is when someone basically starts another relationship, or secures another relationship before leaving their current relationship.

Yes.

I think the key element to it is the new new relationship is at least somewhat secured before leaving the other.

The monkey doesn’t let go of the first branch until it has a firm grip on the other branch and knows that it will hold him/her before letting go of the other branch.

 

[LisaDiane]

I think this is probably VERY common for a number of reasons, and MOST people will stay in unhappy established relationships until they find the motivation to leave. I think the deception of it can be from wanting to make sure the new relationship is worth leaving the current one for, or from not wanting to have any confrontation, or not wanting to disrupt the status quo until the timing is "right"...or to even fear of the current partner's reaction.

The only thing I've ever known of personally were exit affairs - one I supported (my step-dad), and one that disgusted me (my sister). I will say with my step-dad, he didn't actually HAVE a physical affair with her until he had left my mom, but when he decided he wanted to be with a new partner, he shut his marriage down the next day.

My sister kept the deception up with her husband for months so she could get everything perfectly set for herself before HE had a clue she was going to leave...then she did everything she could to submarine him in the divorce (and failed).
I remember being on the phone with him after, and his total bewilderment that she had left telling him how miserable she was, after just THE WEEK BEFORE in front of all his fellow State Trooper buddies and their wives, declaring how wonderful their 20yr marriage was and how wonderfully they had weathered the difficulties to get to such a great place.
Like I said...DISGUSTING.

 

[Rowan]

When I divorced my now-ex-husband, the entire process took 10 weeks - from the first time I ever said "I want a divorce," to receiving the signed and recorded final decree back from the court in the mail. Our son and I didn't move out of the marital home until 3 days after the final paperwork came back.

My ex-husband was openly dating his now-wife, and introducing her to our son, within 3 months of us moving out. She was living with him another 3 months later and they were married a year after that. Not sure if he was seeing her while we were in the divorce process, and still sharing a home, but I suspect so.

But, then, I wasn't really surprised. He was, and still is, a serial cheater. Just being single so he can shag whoever's available doesn't seem to really do it for him. He also really hates managing real life stuff and really loves the image of himself as a happy - and supremely respectable - family man. He seems to require a string of frequent affairs and the stability of a primary relationship/wife.

I think he's probably a bit of both a monkey-branch-er and a plate spinner.

 

[Girl_power]

The thought of being in a relationship with someone who is monkey branching stresses me out. Especially if your going along and think everything is fine. Ah this thread is making me paranoid lol.

 

[LisaDiane]

The thought of being in a relationship with someone who is monkey branching stresses me out. Especially if your going along and think everything is fine. Ah this thread is making me paranoid lol.

You aren't in any more danger of being deceived with "monkey branching" as you are from anything else that challenges relationships, so there's NO need to worry, if you feel that your relationship is happy and solid! It's a form of cheating, so don't give it any more thought or worry than you would that you are being cheated on.

No one can predict or control what another person decides to do, but in general, people who are happy and invested in their relationships don't look for new ones and monkey branch! NO WORRIES!!!

 

[oldtruck]

Spin off from another thread where the OP was kind of shocked that her separated H was going to meet some other woman after bedding her for the last several months.

Monkey Branching is thing and many people seemingly go from one relationship into the other. It is usually considered a female trait but men can appear to monkey swing too but I think the mechanics are typically somewhat different between the girls and the boys.

What are some of your firsthand experiences with monkey branching whether you were the one that swung from one relationship right into the next or whether you had a former partner that was declaring their love and devotion to you one day to packing bags and moving in with their next partner within days.

I personally have had a few different LTR GFs swear love and devotion and were always game suddenly go cold and within a few days gave me the ILYBNILWY and then within another day or two were hot and heavy with someone else.

One swore her love while I was staying at her house for a few weeks before I could move into another apartment and one night she got home from work around 3 am (she worked evening shift until 11pm) smelling of beer and cigarettes. The next day she said she and some girls from work had a GNO and met some other girlfriends at the bar. The next night, the same thing. The next night the same etc.

Then basically radio silence.

i moved into my apartment a few days later and she would return my calls but was always "busy" and always going out with the girls.

Finally I assumed there was another dude and confronted her. She denied adamantly that she was seeing another man but then said she was going to be moving in with this GF of her work friend. ..... I think you can see where this is going...

Yup, she gave me the boot and moved in with this other woman within a week or so.

She not only monkey branched away from me, she swung to the whole other side of the fence within a matter of days.

She was only with that particular woman for awhile but has lived openly as a lesbian ever since.

I can go on with others but I want to hear about your experiences. Do you have a monkey branch as either the brancher or the branchee that you'd like to share?

i dont know, after you she went to bat for the other team.
what does that imply...

 

[Girl_power]

i dont know, after you she went to bat for the other team.
what does that imply...

Be niceeeee.

 

[oldshirt]

i dont know, after you she went to bat for the other team.
what does that imply...

Two ways to look at that.

One is I was sooo bad that not only did she dump me but she dumped the whole male race.

The other way to look at it is no matter how great a man is, he still cant be a chick so there really wasn’t anything to work with there.