This is a chat I pulled of my dh FB tonight and it has me a bit upset for several reasons: first- this is what he does to relax after work. Sits around and drink and chats up some chick he used to like from his old hometown instead of spending time with me and our kids. Second- he has ****ed someone from his FB friends and got really emotionally wrapped up in her.(it's more complicated than it sound, I'll explain at the end of this post) This was last year. Third- I had to tell a married chick he was involved with online that if she didn't quit, I would send transcripts of their chats to her dh. She defriended/blocked him and apologized to me.
When I told dh about it, and how she was aware that what was happening was inappropriate, he still denies that he is doing anything wrong and I'm just being paranoid and jealous and just don't want him to have female friends.
I don't know how to explain this to him in any other way. So I have come to you all for help.
The below convo is just a portion of the whole thread. Please tell me, am I really overreacting? Would anyone here be cool with the below exchange if it was their SO?
(dh)
Doing well. Work gives me more than I can get done in a day (or week) and the family is getting over the seasonal stomach flu that flies through every year at about this time.
I'm working an automated method of enumerating network segments without being detected so that I can satisfy a CTO at work. It's one of many things I do best.
...
8:03pm
(single woman)
Sorry you guys have the stomach bug. We're dealing with the same thing at my house.
enumerating network segments...Idk what that means exactly.
Is it a way of finding out info about the network? Or are you looking for some specific piece of info?
...
8:08pm
(dh)
I was tasked with plugging my laptop into a VLAN (an active port on a switch), doing a discovery scan of all active hosts, and determining which ports, protocols, and services are being used on each host. There are 65535 ports on each host and I have to figure out what protocols and services are being used on all active ports for each host. Does that make sense? I tend to speak in terms that make people's eyes roll make in their heads and then they go to sleep.
...
8:10pm
(single ladie)
Hehe...yes, that makes a tiny bit of sense. I find that crap kinda fascinating but I just can't always make sense out of it.
...
8:12pm
(dh)
I'm a geek.
I'm a hacker, but you have to be a geek first, so sorry.
Also sorry to hear that you are dealing with the same type of bug we have had wreaking havok on our family.
Best wishes and good health to you all.
...
8:13pm
(single ladie)
You're not a geek. Lol.
I hope you all have a speedy recovery
...
8:19pm
(dh)
Geek or not, I love hacking computers, again.
Likewise. Thank you.
...
8:21pm
(single ladie)
So you've found a renewed love for your job? That's great news!
...
8:23pm
(dh)
Thanks. It just kind'a snuck up on me.
I happen to be good at it and I can do things that no one else in the MDA can do.
That's why I get tasks like the one I was describing. Because there isn't anyone else that can figure it out. I've already got it in the bag.
...
8:25pm
(single ladie)
That's awesome. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that you're the best at your job. That's how I felt about my job at Qwest.
...
8:26pm
(dh)
I bet you kicked ass at (her job)
You are an awesome chick; Brains and Beauty. What is there that you can't do?
...
8:27pm
(single lady)
Haha thanks
um...I can't seem to stay married for very long.
...
8:29pm
(DH)
Do you really need to, though? Maybe you are better off without the "better half"...
So called 'better half', that is....
...
8:30pm
(single lady)
Idk, I go back and forth about it all the time. Being single definitely has its perks. I'm totally free to come and go as I choose. No drama to put up with. But it can get incredibly lonely.
...
8:32pm
(DH)
Maybe a **** buddy is what you need. Someone that can satisfy the urge to be with someone, but without the drama and deep seated feelings. Just wondering...
...
8:34pm
(single lady)
Even that gets complicated though. It's hard to be intimate with someone and not eventually develop feelings for them.
...
8:40pm
(DH)
Well, it does get tricky.
I have learned a lot about not getting emotionally tied to anyone.
...
8:44pm
(single lady)
Usually harder for a girl too...lol
...
8:44pm
(DH)
Why?
...
8:45pm
(single lady)
We tend to be more emotional. About almost everything.
...
8:47pm
(DH)
So that's why I can't figure Chicks out!
Damn, but I try.
...
8:47pm
(single lady)
at least you try
...
8:48pm
(DH)
I try because I want to make them cum like they have never cum before.
(Did I just type that out loud?)
...
8:49pm
(single lady)
Lmao...yes, I'm pretty sure you did.
...
8:56pm
(DH)
Sorry about that...
Just speaking my mind.
...
8:57pm
(single lady)
No need to apologize. I like that we can be so candid with each other
...
9:02pm
(DH)
Me, too.
...
9:27pm
(single lady)
Sweet dreams my friend.
...
9:47pm
(DH)
Good night and dream the dreams you imagine when you are awake.
...
November 27
1:16pm
(single lady)
How's work?
...
November 27
5:33pm
(DH)
Non-productive is how I would describe, today.
A lot of work, but nothing really accomplished.
I wasn't allowed to use some of the scripts that I created because no one really knows what they do. The code has to go through a code review before they will let me use them. So, I did things the hard way and got nowhere. Oh well, It's the government's money. I don't mind getting paid for non-productivity.
Overall, it was a good work day. Next, I have to go to the store on my way home.
How was your day?
...
November 27
8:42pm
(single lady)
My day is almost over. I've been playing nurse all day
...
9:23pm
(single lady)
My favorite place to work is the heart hosp. But tonight was a pretty cool experience too.
...
10:32pm
(single lady)
Finally home. Well, kinda. I'm at my mother's house. She kept the kids for me tonight so I could go to clinical. So I'm sitting out in her game room waiting for the heater to do its thing. xxx and xxx are asleep in the guest room. (single lady's kid)is asleep on the couch. There's not much room for me. Lol
...
10:33pm
(single lady)
I'd much rather be in my bed in my own house!
...
December 1
8:22pm
(single lady)
How's your weekend going?
...
December 2
7:51pm
(DH)
It's been rolling along.
Getting ready for christmas; cleaning, organizing, decorating, etc...
How is your weekend treating you?
...
Tuesday
11:48am
(single lady)
How's your day going?
...
Tuesday
4:21pm
(DH)
Like jumping head first into a raging river and being swept away.
How's your day?
...
6:00pm
(single lady)
Is that a good thing? Or bad.
I rocked my dosage Calc test. But bombed the Kaplan test.
So my day has been pretty ****ty.
...
6:38pm
(DH)
It's good in the sense that the day seems to fly by. It's just my way of explaining how it feels to show up at work.
Good job on your dosage calc test. Do you get to do the (work related)test, again?
Cheer up! A ****ty day can be cured be remembering just how gorgeous and ****ing awesome you truly are.
...
6:39pm
(single lady)
You're sweet
...
6:39pm
(DH)
I like the profile pic, by the way. You really do look gorgeous.
...
6:39pm
(single lady)
I'll have to do remediation for the Kaplan. It's not anything that goes on my transcript.
Thanks!
...
6:41pm
(my dh)
So, you do the rememdiation, kick ass at it next time, and move on.
You'll do just fine. You're smart and you know it, so relax.
Damn, I can't seem to spell, tonite....
...
8:08pm
(single lady)
Just finished my last clinical for this semester
...
Wednesday
5:52pm
(single lady)
Whatcha up to this evening?
*Further explanation:
We've been together for 15 yrs. We have 4 kids.
The chic he nailed from FB, that's more complicated. We went thru a 'need to spice up our marriage' phase. He found someone for me, and then someone for himself. We each went off and did our thing. When I was done with mine, it was over. When he had done his thing it morphed into some sort of emotional thing with constant texts back and forth, pet names, etc. I confronted her and put a stop to that part, and he said that she 'sucked him in'.
He also ended up getting REALLY jealous of me and my piece, accusing me of doing stuff when I wasn't. He even set up recording equipment to try and 'catch' me. He still claims to this day that there is evidence of me doing stuff on the tape even though I didn't, and I can't hear anything when I listen to it.
I thought that we had gotten over that, but he keeps striking up these 'friendships' online. Whenever I confront him about it he gets mad at me and says @#$%& like: so I'm not allowed to have friends?! Or 'It's not like I'm going to DO anything, she lived in XXX!"
It doesn't seem to matter that I tell him that this @#$%& hurts me.
I have had some health problems that have caused me to put on a bit of weight. I try to take care of myself in every other way and he says he thinks I'm hot and he is still affectionate with me physically.
So, I hope that fleshes out the picture.
Thanx for taking the time to wade through my drama.
When I told dh about it, and how she was aware that what was happening was inappropriate, he still denies that he is doing anything wrong and I'm just being paranoid and jealous and just don't want him to have female friends.
I don't know how to explain this to him in any other way. So I have come to you all for help.
The below convo is just a portion of the whole thread. Please tell me, am I really overreacting? Would anyone here be cool with the below exchange if it was their SO?
(dh)
Doing well. Work gives me more than I can get done in a day (or week) and the family is getting over the seasonal stomach flu that flies through every year at about this time.
I'm working an automated method of enumerating network segments without being detected so that I can satisfy a CTO at work. It's one of many things I do best.
...
8:03pm
(single woman)
Sorry you guys have the stomach bug. We're dealing with the same thing at my house.
enumerating network segments...Idk what that means exactly.
Is it a way of finding out info about the network? Or are you looking for some specific piece of info?
...
8:08pm
(dh)
I was tasked with plugging my laptop into a VLAN (an active port on a switch), doing a discovery scan of all active hosts, and determining which ports, protocols, and services are being used on each host. There are 65535 ports on each host and I have to figure out what protocols and services are being used on all active ports for each host. Does that make sense? I tend to speak in terms that make people's eyes roll make in their heads and then they go to sleep.
...
8:10pm
(single ladie)
Hehe...yes, that makes a tiny bit of sense. I find that crap kinda fascinating but I just can't always make sense out of it.
...
8:12pm
(dh)
I'm a geek.
I'm a hacker, but you have to be a geek first, so sorry.
Also sorry to hear that you are dealing with the same type of bug we have had wreaking havok on our family.
Best wishes and good health to you all.
...
8:13pm
(single ladie)
You're not a geek. Lol.
I hope you all have a speedy recovery
...
8:19pm
(dh)
Geek or not, I love hacking computers, again.
Likewise. Thank you.
...
8:21pm
(single ladie)
So you've found a renewed love for your job? That's great news!
...
8:23pm
(dh)
Thanks. It just kind'a snuck up on me.
I happen to be good at it and I can do things that no one else in the MDA can do.
That's why I get tasks like the one I was describing. Because there isn't anyone else that can figure it out. I've already got it in the bag.
...
8:25pm
(single ladie)
That's awesome. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that you're the best at your job. That's how I felt about my job at Qwest.
...
8:26pm
(dh)
I bet you kicked ass at (her job)
You are an awesome chick; Brains and Beauty. What is there that you can't do?
...
8:27pm
(single lady)
Haha thanks
um...I can't seem to stay married for very long.
...
8:29pm
(DH)
Do you really need to, though? Maybe you are better off without the "better half"...
So called 'better half', that is....
...
8:30pm
(single lady)
Idk, I go back and forth about it all the time. Being single definitely has its perks. I'm totally free to come and go as I choose. No drama to put up with. But it can get incredibly lonely.
...
8:32pm
(DH)
Maybe a **** buddy is what you need. Someone that can satisfy the urge to be with someone, but without the drama and deep seated feelings. Just wondering...
...
8:34pm
(single lady)
Even that gets complicated though. It's hard to be intimate with someone and not eventually develop feelings for them.
...
8:40pm
(DH)
Well, it does get tricky.
I have learned a lot about not getting emotionally tied to anyone.
...
8:44pm
(single lady)
Usually harder for a girl too...lol
...
8:44pm
(DH)
Why?
...
8:45pm
(single lady)
We tend to be more emotional. About almost everything.
...
8:47pm
(DH)
So that's why I can't figure Chicks out!
Damn, but I try.
...
8:47pm
(single lady)
at least you try
...
8:48pm
(DH)
I try because I want to make them cum like they have never cum before.
(Did I just type that out loud?)
...
8:49pm
(single lady)
Lmao...yes, I'm pretty sure you did.
...
8:56pm
(DH)
Sorry about that...
Just speaking my mind.
...
8:57pm
(single lady)
No need to apologize. I like that we can be so candid with each other
...
9:02pm
(DH)
Me, too.
...
9:27pm
(single lady)
Sweet dreams my friend.
...
9:47pm
(DH)
Good night and dream the dreams you imagine when you are awake.
...
November 27
1:16pm
(single lady)
How's work?
...
November 27
5:33pm
(DH)
Non-productive is how I would describe, today.
A lot of work, but nothing really accomplished.
I wasn't allowed to use some of the scripts that I created because no one really knows what they do. The code has to go through a code review before they will let me use them. So, I did things the hard way and got nowhere. Oh well, It's the government's money. I don't mind getting paid for non-productivity.
Overall, it was a good work day. Next, I have to go to the store on my way home.
How was your day?
...
November 27
8:42pm
(single lady)
My day is almost over. I've been playing nurse all day
...
9:23pm
(single lady)
My favorite place to work is the heart hosp. But tonight was a pretty cool experience too.
...
10:32pm
(single lady)
Finally home. Well, kinda. I'm at my mother's house. She kept the kids for me tonight so I could go to clinical. So I'm sitting out in her game room waiting for the heater to do its thing. xxx and xxx are asleep in the guest room. (single lady's kid)is asleep on the couch. There's not much room for me. Lol
...
10:33pm
(single lady)
I'd much rather be in my bed in my own house!
...
December 1
8:22pm
(single lady)
How's your weekend going?
...
December 2
7:51pm
(DH)
It's been rolling along.
Getting ready for christmas; cleaning, organizing, decorating, etc...
How is your weekend treating you?
...
Tuesday
11:48am
(single lady)
How's your day going?
...
Tuesday
4:21pm
(DH)
Like jumping head first into a raging river and being swept away.
How's your day?
...
6:00pm
(single lady)
Is that a good thing? Or bad.
I rocked my dosage Calc test. But bombed the Kaplan test.
So my day has been pretty ****ty.
...
6:38pm
(DH)
It's good in the sense that the day seems to fly by. It's just my way of explaining how it feels to show up at work.
Good job on your dosage calc test. Do you get to do the (work related)test, again?
Cheer up! A ****ty day can be cured be remembering just how gorgeous and ****ing awesome you truly are.
...
6:39pm
(single lady)
You're sweet
...
6:39pm
(DH)
I like the profile pic, by the way. You really do look gorgeous.
...
6:39pm
(single lady)
I'll have to do remediation for the Kaplan. It's not anything that goes on my transcript.
Thanks!
...
6:41pm
(my dh)
So, you do the rememdiation, kick ass at it next time, and move on.
You'll do just fine. You're smart and you know it, so relax.
Damn, I can't seem to spell, tonite....
...
8:08pm
(single lady)
Just finished my last clinical for this semester
...
Wednesday
5:52pm
(single lady)
Whatcha up to this evening?
*Further explanation:
We've been together for 15 yrs. We have 4 kids.
The chic he nailed from FB, that's more complicated. We went thru a 'need to spice up our marriage' phase. He found someone for me, and then someone for himself. We each went off and did our thing. When I was done with mine, it was over. When he had done his thing it morphed into some sort of emotional thing with constant texts back and forth, pet names, etc. I confronted her and put a stop to that part, and he said that she 'sucked him in'.
He also ended up getting REALLY jealous of me and my piece, accusing me of doing stuff when I wasn't. He even set up recording equipment to try and 'catch' me. He still claims to this day that there is evidence of me doing stuff on the tape even though I didn't, and I can't hear anything when I listen to it.
I thought that we had gotten over that, but he keeps striking up these 'friendships' online. Whenever I confront him about it he gets mad at me and says @#$%& like: so I'm not allowed to have friends?! Or 'It's not like I'm going to DO anything, she lived in XXX!"
It doesn't seem to matter that I tell him that this @#$%& hurts me.
I have had some health problems that have caused me to put on a bit of weight. I try to take care of myself in every other way and he says he thinks I'm hot and he is still affectionate with me physically.
So, I hope that fleshes out the picture.
Thanx for taking the time to wade through my drama.