Husband and are in R 7 months after NC w/OW. We have been doing great. I had a major trigger (3 stupid thing that all were reminders at the same time, so a bit more than I could handle). I had a drink, got emotional, and when he got home from practice, I started a whole mess that in my mind didn't seem unreasonable, but now as I look on it, it was bad. We stayed up until 4:30 AM - and now he is seriously depressed again because I lashed out at him and told him how disappointed I was and angry from my trigger, but that I knew it was contradicting how I fee about us now - I am happy with us and feel good about us, but I just sent him back to where he felt from our new beginning - like he has done nothing right (even though he has), and he can't ever redeem himself. That was Monday night. This morning he told me that he almost contacted OW and her BF, but stopped. I asked him why, and he said because he wants them to hurt as much as we are. I told him they will have a miserable life, and we have overcome and ours can be great if we both get our heads out of our butts and seeing what we have and how far we have come. I think he is struggling with closure now and is maybe going trough another stage of his grief. He can't concentrate at work and says he is going to see a Dr. I know he is depressed. Yes, I am the BS, but how do I help my WH who is undeniably depressed because of his affair, more remorseful than I have ever seen, and who I think needs closure. Besides getting a doctors help, what does he do? Closure - how does he do it, is it a good thing? I am lost.