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Discussion Starter #1
About 10 yrs ago when I got married (been divorced 2) we spent an upwards of $38K on the wedding. Now my ex is half Italian and Half Greek and at our wedding I had 15 guests but she had 120 (YES ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY!) guests.

In retrospect given I've been divorced for a while now we should have put that money towards a house instead of waiting another few years. It also became clear that it was mostly her day and not mine.
Why do most women (and of course the finger wagging hip thrusting lip puckering effemate men :lol:) ignore the reality of a wedding day? It should be about two people right? Afterall the guests come eat drink dance and leave.

Does the event justify the cost? And if you paid half the cost of the wedding, if you're giving up the house during divorce shouldn't you ask for your half you put into the wedding back? Just a thought.
 

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1001 Things Every Teen $hould Know Before They Leave Home (Or Else They'll Come Back)

485. They should know to not spend more time on their wedding than strengthening their relationship. A lot of couplees get it wrong here.

498. They should know that many of the longest lasting marriages have started with the smallest of weddings.

503. They should know the number one cause of divorce is finances.

532. They should know to not let a wedding put them in debt. One night of memories for five years of payments doesn't make sense.
 

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My wedding was perfect. Looking back, knowing it ended in divorce, I wouldn't have done it. Hindsight is a mother.

I would never ever have a wedding again if I were to marry. No, thanks. If I ever remarry, it'd be a quick "justice of the peace" thing that costs about $30 to get the certificate signed. It's amazing how little it costs to get married legally and how much $ people spend on weddings.

But then I doubt I'd ever want to get married again.

I saw a sign a few weeks back and had to laugh:

MARRIAGE IS GRAND. DIVORCE IS 100 GRAND.

Yeah.

:p



********************** | ***************************************** | ***************************************
 

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Sheesh, our tiny little wedding cost only a few thousand dollars...let's see, a few nights in a hotel, about 600$, dress bought on-line (incl shipping) 200$, shoes $8.75 from Macy's...flowers were gifted from the shop I used to work at, husband spent about 200$ on a new suit, hair and makeup a gift from my Mom. Dad paid for our reception, a small dinner for our 11 guests. I think the rings were the most extravagant expense, 1500$ for all 3! And it was perfect.

So this woman definitely didn't go big! And we have a house to live in, things are paid, and life (a year and a bit later) is good!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
My wedding was perfect. Looking back, knowing it ended in divorce, I wouldn't have done it. Hindsight is a mother.

I would never ever have a wedding again if I were to marry. No, thanks. If I ever remarry, it'd be a quick "justice of the peace" thing that costs about $30 to get the certificate signed. It's amazing how little it costs to get married legally and how much $ people spend on weddings.

But then I doubt I'd ever want to get married again.

I saw a sign a few weeks back and had to laugh:

MARRIAGE IS GRAND. DIVORCE IS 100 GRAND.

Yeah.

:p
AMEN to that!:iagree:
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Sheesh, our tiny little wedding cost only a few thousand dollars...let's see, a few nights in a hotel, about 600$, dress bought on-line (incl shipping) 200$, shoes $8.75 from Macy's...flowers were gifted from the shop I used to work at, husband spent about 200$ on a new suit, hair and makeup a gift from my Mom. Dad paid for our reception, a small dinner for our 11 guests. I think the rings were the most extravagant expense, 1500$ for all 3! And it was perfect.

So this woman definitely didn't go big! And we have a house to live in, things are paid, and life (a year and a bit later) is good!
Nicely done! Now if most women only saw it that way lol
 

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My wedding was perfect. Looking back, knowing it ended in divorce, I wouldn't have done it. Hindsight is a mother.

I would never ever have a wedding again if I were to marry. No, thanks. If I ever remarry, it'd be a quick "justice of the peace" thing that costs about $30 to get the certificate signed. It's amazing how little it costs to get married legally and how much $ people spend on weddings.

But then I doubt I'd ever want to get married again.

I saw a sign a few weeks back and had to laugh:

MARRIAGE IS GRAND. DIVORCE IS 100 GRAND.

Yeah.

:p
You're right, the $ people spend on weddings is ridiculous! But I do hope you'll change your mind about that someday! ;)
 

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Nicely done! Now if most women only saw it that way lol
It's tough....look at everything out there that pressures both men and women into the BIG DAY! When I was researching my own wedding, I was floored by all the expenses I could have incurred...florist, photography, limos, cake, food...and that's just a few regular 'musts'. I saw an add for a place that releases doves once the i-dos have been said. I mean really?

All thes reality shows about brides, Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, Brides of Hollywood...young women think they have to do all this to have a magical wedding day, and it just isn't so.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
It's tough....look at everything out there that pressures both men and women into the BIG DAY! When I was researching my own wedding, I was floored by all the expenses I could have incurred...florist, photography, limos, cake, food...and that's just a few regular 'musts'. I saw an add for a place that releases doves once the i-dos have been said. I mean really?

All thes reality shows about brides, Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, Brides of Hollywood...young women think they have to do all this to have a magical wedding day, and it just isn't so.
It's mostly driven by women, I've seen women who have been planning their wedding day since they were 12 lol. Men generally would just rather show up, say their vows and get drunk/laid LOL.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I agree with all of that! Too bad...if only such effort were put into the actual relationship as money put into the wedding...
Reminds me of a friend who got married and the very next day after the wedding she decided he snored too loudly and he should go on the couch or the guest room LOL. Needless to say they were divorced 3 months later.
 

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We're cheap. We spent $160 to get married. $150 for the officiant and $10 for the gas to drive ourselves and our three dogs to our favorite hiking spot atop a dormant volcano. We each paid half. :)

After the wedding my husband gave me a family heirloom wedding ring worth about $3,000. (The diamond is HUGE - but I'm not bragging) :p

I bought my husband a gold band (he chose) for $120. I would have loved to have gotten him something nicer, but he loves his ring. He didn't want anything "better" even though I could have easily afforded it at the time.

I don't understand spending huge amounts of money on weddings. I just don't. My husband and I had our own unique dream wedding day for next to nothing. One of the best days of my life. :)
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About 10 yrs ago when I got married (been divorced 2) we spent an upwards of $38K on the wedding. Now my ex is half Italian and Half Greek and at our wedding I had 15 guests but she had 120 (YES ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY!) guests.

In retrospect given I've been divorced for a while now we should have put that money towards a house instead of waiting another few years. It also became clear that it was mostly her day and not mine.
Why do most women (and of course the finger wagging hip thrusting lip puckering effemate men :lol:) ignore the reality of a wedding day? It should be about two people right? Afterall the guests come eat drink dance and leave.

Does the event justify the cost? And if you paid half the cost of the wedding, if you're giving up the house during divorce shouldn't you ask for your half you put into the wedding back? Just a thought.

Just because you were married before it doesn't mean your second wedding should feel less special! Every woman dreams about their wedding day. Make her feel she is the center of the universe :D Believe me, she will always remember!

People from the south of Europe usually have big and close families. For these people, family comes first and foremost! It is not unusual for weddings to have 150+ people.

I should know, because my family comes from Mediterranean area:D
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Just because you were married before it doesn't mean your second wedding should feel less special! Every woman dreams about their wedding day. Make her feel she is the center of the universe :D Believe me, she will always remember!

People from the south of Europe usually have big and close families. For these people, family comes first and foremost! It is not unusual for weddings to have 150+ people.

I should know, because my family comes from Mediterranean area:D
and I beg to differ because I'm from Lancashire England:lol: Ther eare many ways to make a person feel special thats not quantifiable by the amount of money spent on a/the wedding. I DID make her feel like the center of the universe but as usual it's never enough, guess my compass was off LOL
 

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I went to a muchos expensive wedding - jazz bands, string quartets, f*cking toastmaster the works

they split within three months

the atmosphere was totally off, the speeches were just WEIRD

I also went to one wedding where the groom's mother wore black ha ha
 

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and I beg to differ because I'm from Lancashire England:lol: Ther eare many ways to make a person feel special thats not quantifiable by the amount of money spent on a/the wedding. I DID make her feel like the center of the universe but as usual it's never enough, guess my compass was off LOL
I am not talking about spending an absurd amount of $$. Have you both discussed what your thought are about it?
Better use an astrolabe, next time :D It's always good to be prepared with a plan b!
 

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Thats so true I went to a wedding were cost and expenses were no object they made it about a year go figures I really believe that a tasteful wedding does not have to be all that expensive my mother in law did an outstanding job on our wedding for like less than 3k and it was great My advice would be to take the funds used for the wedding and use them as a downpayment on a house versus the wedding but i digress
 
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