[YoungLoveHelp]

My husband and I are young (23) and have been together for 5 years (married for 2) and are just now recognizing our first real problem. We really have been in our 'honeymoon phase' throughout these years and are now leaving it. We have simply found we don't have anything to talk about (and perhaps never really have...). We also don't have a whole lot in common, but even when we do go out to dinner, or to an event down town we just have run out of things to say. We just really opened it up today and we talked about it and we know we love each other and we know this isn't either of our faults and we definitely don't want our marriage to end but we don't really know what to do. Looking for some advice, if anyone has been in a similar situation or maybe knows a good book on the topic?


Thanks!

 

[YoungLoveHelp]

Thank you all for your suggestions! There are some good ones we will have to try! I feel much better now that I have some ideas =)


Also, It's not the big things we have trouble talking about (we talked about this problem afterall) But, for example, last weekend we went down town where there was a bunch of local bands and we walked around for a few hours, and neither of us can remember a single thing we talked about. I felt it was a comfortable silence, but he is much more of an extrovert then I and desires more conversation in our relationship. We fear our major differences do hinder our conversation (specifically he's now an Athiest, while I'm still a Christian). I'm afraid to bring up some topics because I fear conflict (and he has very strong opinions) but perhaps it's OK to 'agree to disagree' as one of you said.

 

[YoungLoveHelp]

YoungLoveHelp, I'm divorced, but my nature is like Enchantment; I'm not a big talker and I enjoy the peace of silence sometimes. I think anyone can talk if they have something they want or need to talk about, but if I don't, I'm not one to drag up politics, current events, or sports just to break the silence.

My Aunt is a huge talker. She calls my mom from time to time and blabs for an hour. My mom is usually ready to shoot herself by the time she hangs up.:rofl:

What is your situation? Is it creating distance in your relationship? Does one of you bring up a topic and the other just sits there? I'm just the type who doesn't get alarmed because I'm not talking a lot, so I guess it seems more normal to me. How are things going aside from not talking a lot?

I am also like you where I don't feel the need to fill the silence all the time, but my husband is not. He said he feels the lack of conversation is harmful to the relationship and has caused him to feel unfulfilled in our relationship in that area.

 

[YoungLoveHelp]

My husband is a big conversationalist, but apparently not as good at starting the conversations. I also have a hard time starting conversations(and don't really talk very much), so I think that's where some if the problem is. If it's something important we need to talk about (like money or relationship issue such as this) then we talk about that, but it's hard to just strike up conversation when we are relaxing.