We have lost our connection

You don't need a counselor to find ways to have fun together.

While you are staying home, find ways to bring joy and surprise into his life when he gets home from work. It might be a nice meal one day. It might be sharing a funny story you find on the Internet. It could be that you left him a note in his lunchbox that called him a silly name. Although your child is young and you're very busy, you can do things with your son that makes your husband feel important and loved, too, like fingerpainting with your son/daughter and making YOUR picture about daddy, too. Go ahead and be silly, outrageous, and have fun.

Kid crafts are perfect opportunities for you to give an adult twist that can freshen up your love life. Frisky crayon drawings, macaroni "anniversary" ring to celebrate the 42nd time you told him you love him, etc.

Make him your "king" in your drawings, or your "knight in shining armour" or other crazy thoughts that will please him.

I think the best way for you to reconnect is for you to work on becoming the person you want to be. As a mom, I understand how draining (physically and emotionally) parenting an infant/toddler is. I'm not surprised that you feel depressed at times and you and your H have found it hard to keep the romance in your relationship going. But, at 2 1/2 years old, your child is old enough that you may be able to start doing more outside of the home. Are you friends with other moms with kids? Could you set up a playdate swap with them? Is there a reasonably priced day care that you could send your kid to 2 or 3 times a week (for 3 hours or so)? Do you have family nearby that could take your son for an overnight visit? That would give you time to exercise, pursue a hobby, reconnect with old friends. If you can make time to rediscover the person you were before you became a mom, your H may rediscover her too.

As for low cost date nights?
Movie nights at home -- you and H take turns picking out the movie, make popcorn, turn off your phones, sit on the couch together and laugh.
Train for something together -- sign up for a 5K run and say "H I want you to do this with me."
Go bowling, play miniature golf, rent a canoe -- just get out and do something different together.

Also, I agree that reading His Needs, Her Needs might be a good place to start.

I have a similar problem with my H. I used to be really discouraged by it but the conclusion I came to was that I don't think I will always have a strong connection with my H; I think it cycles, and i think that that is OK. When I think back to my history with different friends and even my family my relationship with them has always cycled between really close and distant. Different situations in my life will bring me closer to different people at different times and I think that that is OK. With certain people there is always that baseline connection that keeps us together even if we go months without talking. Then some experience will bring us closer and we will be more connected for awhile.

I'm not saying you should give up trying to have a connection with your spouse, I haven't, but I don't think it has to be threatening and alarming. As time goes on I realize that every day we are building memories and that those memories will connect us. Sometimes it is hard to appreciate just being together on a day-to-day basis. It's not as dramatic and exciting as when we first met and were infatuated with each other but if there is little fighting then the day-to-day existing together can build a strong connection over time, IMO.