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4 Posts
So I am only been married three years. The relationship was a couple years before the engagement and then we got married quick. There were lot of good things about our relationship and a lot of bad things about our relationship, but in the end, the last year was full of petty arguments, overall lack of communication, dishonesty, lack of respect, and some DV tendencies (intimidation, I got shoved, gaslighting, etc). I called it quits after the incident with the shoving as I have more respect for myself than to not feel safe in my own home (and I have a lot of great support to be able to so boldly do what I needed to for myself). He went to stay at his moms, and after a month of being on his own he FINALLY started seeing a therapist. I was still super upset about the situation, but at least he was admitting that he had a lot of responsibility for some of the stuff going on (also I’d been telling him since we were dating that he needed to see a therapist just for his own mental health). But he’s been being responsible, paying his part of bills, getting closer with his family and doing well in therapy. We’ve still had little disagreements when working through like who gets what car and splitting bills type stuff, but after starting his therapy, he’s been much more able to have a normal conversation with me and not escalate it. So now I’m at this point where I’ve talked to other people (he has too-it’s been about 8 months that we’ve been separated), but I still find myself comparing anyone to like the good stuff about him and like how we clicked and I still wanna call him when I’m happy or sad or I see something funny. Now I’m just stuck and I can’t tell if I’m just lonely and want to try with him because of that or if maybe we should try because we’ve both grown (I’ve been working on myself too). Idk. I just needed to get it out I guess. But if you have advice I’d gladly accept. Thanks.