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168 Posts
A month and a half ago my wife of 4 years (together 6 years) told me “I love you but I’m not in love with you”, and revealed she had a boyfriend she’d been dating for 2 months whom she was in love with. She said she hadn’t been in love with me for about a year and a half. I couldn’t believe it. She needed time apart from me to think about things, got her own apartment.
Since then it’s been pure hell. I’ve seen her only 4 times, am not allowed to call, and we text maybe 2-4 times per day usually about trivial stuff. I let her initiate all communication - I never send the first text. She continues to date the OM. Every so often she’ll text and tell me she really misses me. She says she does love me now, but I’m still not sure exactly in what sense. We’ve kissed, and she is fairly affectionate when we’re together but still reserved.
She will listen to me express my feelings to an extent, but will not talk about her reasons for separating from me other than once saying I was inattentive. She also mentioned she’d been going through a lot lately, including her father dying a year and a half ago - which is exactly the same timeframe she stated she fell out of love with me, and I can’t help but think there’s a connection.
She’s been going back and forth on this from moment to moment. Once within the same text she told me I was the one for her and the OM was second best, but she’s considering marrying him and moving to another city. Last night she called very late and said she’s coming home for the night and not to ask why. About thirty minutes later she texted and said nevermind - she’d tried to break up with the OM but they were going to talk about it.
Any advice on what to do? I feel their relationship is like an addiction - she’s blinded to all the hurt she’s causing me and herself by the rush of a new romance. I love this girl so completely and will not give up on her. I do not believe in divorce, I believe love weathers all things even when the other spouse is unfaithful. And I’ve laid with her and seen the unmistakable look in her eyes, the same look from when we first fell in love, that says she still loves me too.
Since then it’s been pure hell. I’ve seen her only 4 times, am not allowed to call, and we text maybe 2-4 times per day usually about trivial stuff. I let her initiate all communication - I never send the first text. She continues to date the OM. Every so often she’ll text and tell me she really misses me. She says she does love me now, but I’m still not sure exactly in what sense. We’ve kissed, and she is fairly affectionate when we’re together but still reserved.
She will listen to me express my feelings to an extent, but will not talk about her reasons for separating from me other than once saying I was inattentive. She also mentioned she’d been going through a lot lately, including her father dying a year and a half ago - which is exactly the same timeframe she stated she fell out of love with me, and I can’t help but think there’s a connection.
She’s been going back and forth on this from moment to moment. Once within the same text she told me I was the one for her and the OM was second best, but she’s considering marrying him and moving to another city. Last night she called very late and said she’s coming home for the night and not to ask why. About thirty minutes later she texted and said nevermind - she’d tried to break up with the OM but they were going to talk about it.
Any advice on what to do? I feel their relationship is like an addiction - she’s blinded to all the hurt she’s causing me and herself by the rush of a new romance. I love this girl so completely and will not give up on her. I do not believe in divorce, I believe love weathers all things even when the other spouse is unfaithful. And I’ve laid with her and seen the unmistakable look in her eyes, the same look from when we first fell in love, that says she still loves me too.
