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Discussion Starter #1
Is it fair or appropriate for me to request H to write about his recommitment to me and our family to those who were told about his mis-doings (going after female coworker) as an act of accountability towards me? They are close friends and also he confided to his brother and wife.

Thanks fore your input in advance.
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If you feel that you need it, of course it's appropriate. If you feel you need him to hand you his left ball on a silver platter, that's also appropriate. He CHEATED on you. What HE wants doesn't matter right now.

From what I have read in your other posts, though, this guy isn't worth the effort. Both of you have some growing up to do before you're ready to have a successful marriage. R under the circumstances you're in right now will never work.
 

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Since my last post, we had a long talk. This is what he's told me: He agreed that if OW will be attending the party then he will not, to make me happy. He has admitted he did wrong. He didn't know what to do to make up for things, other than doing as much as he can around the house while I am busy looking after our baby. What he also did was try to contact the minister who married us, as he's planning something special for our 10th anniversary next year. He said he's now realized there is no room for any other female other than me and our baby girl, and outside of family. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He said when we
were having a rough time, he thought I actually didn't really care, as I'd tell him to leave (heated arguments). The initial counselor told us he was going through a mid life crisis.
Anyway, we will be going for MC. He knows I don't 'trust' him and is working on rebuilding.
I agree we have poor communication with each other...which has greatly affected our marriage for a few years. I do have hope, he is trying, being much more attentive.
As for my misbehavior, I liked OM while we were dating, then he moved for work. Not to say that it isn't wrong to have a crush for someone else with any kind of relationship. I think thankfully in both our cases they were only to the extent of one sided EAs. We are taking a day at a time.
Within all this mess, I think something this drastic had to happen for us to wake up to the state of our
mediocore marriage that it had become. During this journey in talking to a close friend of mine, they have
also sought MC (no infidelity issues tho, but they were having a sexless marriage and other issues) which is helping them. One's person's pain always helps another doesn't it...
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