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I have known my husband for almost 17 years. We have been togther since 10/03/07 and we got married 2/21/09. We have had a rocky marriage and we are coming close to a two year anniversary, but I don't think we are going to make it that far. I have debated leaving my husband. I even have money and things I might need in my desk in case I do have to flee. :(
Here is why our marriage has been rocky and I don't think it's going to get better unless we both get help. My husband went from one relationship to another. Before he was with me he was with the mother of his son. He decided to leave her because all they did was fight and he thought that she was cheating on him and being sneaky and conniving. He has been drinking since he was 15 years old and being dependant on other substances as well. From the beginning he's been using alcohol and the other substances. We were good from the beginning and then slowing he started to do accuse me of cheating and being sneaky and telling people what he was doing as far as substance wise. He doesn't realize that the way he asks when he is using is totally the opposite of when he's sober. Now all he can see is that I'm cheating he doesn't want to see it any other way. I realize that part of the reason that he thinks I'm cheating is due to the fact that I lied to him about it, but I didn't have much of choice he refused to see aything else and he was under the influence and he has a bad temper, which I have seen many different times and this was one of those times.
I know he needs counseling for that. I also need counseling and together we need counseling. I do love him very much and he is a great guy when he is sober, but I'm not sure if he can stay that way. I have lied to him to many times and he thinks I'm being sneaky, and conniving, and trying to manipulate him and I don't know if he will ever see me as anything else.
Can anyone tell me what we can do? Everyone tells me I should leave him, but I don't want unless I absolutely have to. Do you think counseling will help us? :confused:
 

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counseling might help. it has helped my H and i but its a very slow process.

I think alanon would help you. it is a free peer-lead support group for those involved with alcoholics. i went to some meetings myself and found the information very helpful.
 
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