He doesn't even know what love is. He's in love with only one thing. What a trauma to find out the family you're building is just a sideline for him. The theft would be a dealbreaker to me and plenty of the other things as well. But I mean, he's out of work, you try to help him, and he rips you off.My husband and I have been together almost 8 years, married for 6. We have a 5 year old and 4 year old together and I thought we lived a happy life. Boy was I wrong.
Last month I found out about his porn use which is not an issue but he was stealing money from me to buy smoking fetish content, premium porn memberships etc and it was clear his usage was increasing all while we weren't physical.
He took money from my business which supported us solely. We cut porn our he said he was going to get a job Repay me whatever and things were okay. Few weeks later I find out it's not just porn but subscribing to ex gf onlyfans again with my money.
Now this is where it gets worse. When I say I wish I just let things go I mean it I had no idea the trauma I was about to cause myself. I found 16 emails from over the 8 years he made for porn sites, kik, snapchat, reddit, Twitter texting apps etc.
Long story short pretty much throughout our 8 years together he has talked to girls on and off taking brief breaks always starting with a new girl so it wasn't anything physical or serious but still. The gentleman he is atleast took 2 weeks off after we got married 🥴
All while I was dealing with ppd from having 2 kids 13 months apart. I probably laid in bed and did nothing but stare at my phone for almost 2 years. I went from 175lbs to 305lbs. He says he did it for attention I said well if you put that effort into getting me mental health help after birthing your children I would have been available to give you attention. But instead you let me rot away in a bed for 2 years.
2020 I got my **** together and began losing weight opened my small business selling tshirts and in 2021 my business blew up. In Feb 2021 he got fired so I said let's just have you help me with the business. He did basically nothing I guess except for spend my money. I lost a massive amount of weight. Right now I weight 120lbs. I changed myself to fit his tastes hoping that would make him love me.
He stopped trying to have sex with my altogether and so I did as well. After the porn use came out we talked alot and i felt like we were closer than ever our sex life was back to being daily we started trying new things etc but now with this newest discovery I can't wrap my head around the fact that he could love me and choose to talk to other girls for the entire relationship we had. I love him or well I guess I love who I thought he was. I don't know if it's worth even trying to do marriage counseling or if we are way past it.
Puhlease don't waste another day pretending to be married to this jerk. He's not a good role model for the kids either. Sorry you're going through it. Just face reality. He is what he is, and he's shown you clearly what that is. He won't change.