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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
No one is good enough for this psychopath. Honestly how many of you have ever known a guy to actively tell a woman he was involved with that he is a form of psychopath?
 

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Dating a married man will never end well. I'd just go no contact with him. That means to block his phone number, delete him off social media accounts, etc. That will be the only way to really heal and move on with your life.
 

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Why are you wasting your time with his man? When you need someone in your life to be supportive of you, it won't be him. He clearly only cares about himself.

He does sound like a sociopath... a person who just uses others for his own purposes.

Is this what you want? If so can you explain why?
 

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Of course you should not be involved with this married dude. He should be with his family. I know on LS , MW/OWs are coddled and there’s a huge group of others doing the same thing all telling each other that the big bad MM is to blame for your problems but here on TAM, you’re not going to get anyone blowing smoke up your but concerning what you’re doing. You are a grown woman and should know that trying to entice a married dude from his family is so F’d up. please stop wasting your life. Block him on everything and make a pledge with yourself that you will never be any man’s side piece.
 

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I guess if you are that desperate to have an occasional warm body, he is a wonderful fit. If you actually want a man… you’ll have to keep looking. I don’t think you could have picked a worse person to date if you had interviewed for the title. Did you take out an ad? “Wanted: Someone with a penis to treat me like dirt. Experience is preferred.”
 

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Why even date someone who is married? It seems like you're setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment.

Personally, I refuse to date anyone in a relationship, married or dating. I just think it's tacky, and based on dishonesty.
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
Block him on everything and make a pledge with yourself that you will never be any man’s side piece.
This was always my pledge but he insisted he’d divorce her it was just taking time… then when he admitted he’ll never get divorced bc of the kids, not wanting to give her $, and never wanting to get remarried or have another committed relationship anyhow I assumed I’d change his mind eventually.
But if he is a sociopath like he says and has no problem being stone cold (never a warm hug or kiss or barely even a smile at me ever) and leading a double life… claims he “cares” about me while demanding I delete any photo or comment I make on his social media, bc “I guess you’ve never had sex w a married man before”…. Then what am I going to gain? What would any woman involved w him gain? Even this current one that he claimed to me to be spending time with (and posted photo of her on his fake account)… he was simultaneously asking me for sex and dirty photos…
 

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This was always my pledge but he insisted he’d divorce her it was just taking time… then when he admitted he’ll never get divorced bc of the kids, not wanting to give her $, and never wanting to get remarried or have another committed relationship anyhow I assumed I’d change his mind eventually.
But if he is a sociopath like he says and has no problem being stone cold (never a warm hug or kiss or barely even a smile at me ever) and leading a double life… claims he “cares” about me while demanding I delete any photo or comment I make on his social media, bc “I guess you’ve never had sex w a married man before”…. Then what am I going to gain? What would any woman involved w him gain? Even this current one that he claimed to me to be spending time with (and posted photo of her on his fake account)… he was simultaneously asking me for sex and dirty photos…
We are in 2021. The days of women acting like they have no agency and are just pawns to the evil man’s will are LONG over. Grab a hold of the reigns of your life and move forward. A guy who’s says he’s divorcing is not single. He is available when the divorce is final. I know women like to play the separation game but if he’s married, then he’s married. Doesn’t matter if they’re living separately.

You are responsible for guarding your own heart. Why even entertain a man that’s separated but still married when the world is loaded with single men that are looking for love. While you give yourself physically and emotionally to a married dude, you will never find mr right. I can only imagine how many guys may have wanted a relationship with you but you’re blind to any advances because your obsessed over another woman’s husband.
 

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This was always my pledge but he insisted he’d divorce her it was just taking time… then when he admitted he’ll never get divorced bc of the kids, not wanting to give her $, and never wanting to get remarried or have another committed relationship anyhow I assumed I’d change his mind eventually.
But if he is a sociopath like he says and has no problem being stone cold (never a warm hug or kiss or barely even a smile at me ever) and leading a double life… claims he “cares” about me while demanding I delete any photo or comment I make on his social media, bc “I guess you’ve never had sex w a married man before”…. Then what am I going to gain? What would any woman involved w him gain? Even this current one that he claimed to me to be spending time with (and posted photo of her on his fake account)… he was simultaneously asking me for sex and dirty photos…
The title of this thread implies you've already given up on him. If that is true, then yes, you were right to give up on him. If not then I think you need to be worried about your own mental health and should try to understand why you would stay in contact with someone like this. If your description is accurate he is garbage. I think you should do some soul searching about why you were with a married man in the first place. Even if he was "getting divorce", he is still married and you are the POSOW.
 

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Married men who cheat often promise to divorce their wives. They rarely do. Even if he did why would you want a man who treats his wife so badly?.
Find your own man instead of cheating with another womans husband.
 

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Can I be blunt and just say it. Most of what he does and says indicates he sees you as a highly available sex toy. He just doesn't seem to have much interest with you unless it involves phone sex, boob pics and the hookups now and then.

If you have this man around for entertainment then ok, that's your decision. If you're planning some future or think you have one with him, make sure that future you see is mostly you as a sex toy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #39 ·
Can I be blunt and just say it. Most of what he does and says indicates he sees you as a highly available sex toy. He just doesn't seem to have much interest with you unless it involves phone sex, boob pics and the hookups now and then.
You’re right on. But why? I’m going to give some superficial facts about myself. I am very successful, in top 1-2% of earners. Thin. Often told I’m very attractive. My exes have been, superficially, excellent catches themselves. And in terms of deeper stuff… I’ve been told by many who’ve seen me w my daughter that I’m an awesome mom. I was always caring to this guy until I started feeling used like a sex toy, but at same time I wasn’t a pushover: I would tell him repeatedly that if he wasn’t going to leave his wife or commit to me then I wasn’t going to be used. So why??
All along he’s pulled back intermittently w sex- would tell me he felt guilty bc he’s married , or just that he wanted to be “in control” and so I couldn’t expect that from him often. But even during all those times he’d text me explicitly and do phone sex.
 

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You’re right on. But why? I’m going to give some superficial facts about myself. I am very successful, in top 1-2% of earners. Thin. Often told I’m very attractive. My exes have been, superficially, excellent catches themselves. And in terms of deeper stuff… I’ve been told by many who’ve seen me w my daughter that I’m an awesome mom. I was always caring to this guy until I started feeling used like a sex toy, but at same time I wasn’t a pushover: I would tell him repeatedly that if he wasn’t going to leave his wife or commit to me then I wasn’t going to be used. So why??
All along he’s pulled back intermittently w sex- would tell me he felt guilty bc he’s married , or just that he wanted to be “in control” and so I couldn’t expect that from him often. But even during all those times he’d text me explicitly and do phone sex.
It has nothing to do with you. He is damaged goods. You could be the top catch in the world and it won't change who he is.

I still think you need to look closely at yourself. The way you describe yourself it would seem you should have no problem finding someone. Why did you pick a married man and what made you think it was okay to be one half of an affair?
 
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